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UrsulMag
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- Okay. Are we doing...
- Hi.
3
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- How are you?
- I'm not comin' out there.
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It's only a day and a half of work,
and you gonna be making $150.
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- I look like a damn fool.
- I'm gonna come in.
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Okay. One, two, thre...
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You better stop it.
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Eileen, you come in on three.
You don't say, "One, two," and come in.
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You say, "Three." Then you come in.
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Look at you. You are
dressed for success.
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I look like the whole
damn red-light district.
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I ain't had nothing like this
on since I was on that pole.
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Ooh. Well, just think of this as
another pole. The North Pole.
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They don't make it
rain at the North Pole.
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At my age, I can't
get no rain nowhere.
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I get a little drizzle,
but them quarters hurt.
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No, no, no. Well, this is beautiful.
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Just think of this as a little
extra money for you and Cora.
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Honey, I don't buy Cora
nothing for Christmas.
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I ain't bought her nothing
since she was seven years old.
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- You're kidding.
- That's right.
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Cora asked me for some money
for some dolls named Starz.
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I couldn't afford it.
She just wanted them Starz.
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So all day Christmas,
she made me feel bad.
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That night, Christmas dinner,
she's still sitting at the table crying.
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I knocked the hell out of her.
You know what happened?
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She saw stars. And she never
asked me for another gift.
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- You are dreadful. Yes, you are.
- The truth.
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- I can't do this, Eileen.
- Yes, you can. Stop.
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- Now, just smile.
- Okay. I'm smiling.
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Now, you should see...
Come over here.
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I gotta take you where you working.
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You should see the lovely gifts
I bought for my daughter.
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- How she doing?
- Oh, she is excellent.
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You know she went to New
York to get a degree...
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got her master's and up and
moved to Alabama of all places.
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- What the hell she move to Alabama for?
- Who knows.
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Anyway, she took a little job there in
some little, small school, you know.
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She says she wants to start a farm.
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- A farm? What she starting a farm for?
- I don't know. I don't know.
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But anyway, you know she got
tons of offers down here in Atlanta.
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But she didn't want to,
so what can you do?
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- Maybe she's trying to get away from you.
- You better stop that.
44
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- Where we going?
- My daughter loves me.
45
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Round yon Virgin Mother...
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- Was that you singing?
- No, ma'am.
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There's no one else in there,
Bailey McCoy.
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Come on. Walk with me.
You're late again.
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I'm sorry.
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- I'm gonna have to talk to your parents.
- No.
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I just woke up late.
I'll be here on time. I promise.
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Budget cuts, budget cuts.
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All right. Go on in class.
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- We'll talk about this later. Okay?
- Okay.
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And your singing.
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I'm not gonna come in
here and listen to this.
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All right, people!
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Now, we may have to cancel
the Christmas Jubilee this year.
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- No way!
- We don't have the budget!
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Mayor, you hold on right there.
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All right? Now, I grew
"poinsetters" for this.
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Poinsettias.
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- That's what I said.
- No, you didn't.
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If this Christmas
Jubilee don't happen...
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what am I gonna do with
all them "poinsetters"?
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- Poinsettias.
- Stop. Do I look stupid?
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- Tanner, I understand.
- No, sir...
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with all due respect,
I don't think you do.
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Since they built that dam upriver,
we've been barely surviving.
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Between that and the drought...
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managed to put most of
our crops out of business.
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We need this Christmas Jubilee
to happen. You hear me?
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We don't have the money.
I talked to the city council, didn't I?
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You did, Your Honor.
He talked to him. I heard him.
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- Take it out of the school.
- Hold on, Tanner McCoy.
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We've already cut
the school's budget...
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and as principal,
I have to draw the line.
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We have four teachers
teaching several classes.
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If we cut back more, we'll not be
able to finish the school year.
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I don't care.
Somebody has to do something.
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We have to have this
Christmas Jubilee.
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It helps too many people around here
make enough money just to stay open.
83
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We don't have the budget!
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When we elected you as mayor,
you said you would help us!
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I know. I'm sorry.
86
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Folks around here don't take too kindly
to politicians not keeping their word.
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You keep putting all these good people
against the wall and see what happens.
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Come on, fellas. Geez.
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- This is ridiculous.
- Absolutely.
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- You believe that guy?
- That was unpleasant.
91
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Yes, it was.
92
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- This is where you'll be working.
- Okay.
93
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,003
Okay? Have you ever
done sales before?
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- Yes, I sold trees.
- Christmas trees?
95
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When you smoke 'em, they make
you feel like it's Christmas.
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If you don't stop that nasty talk.
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Stop it. I mean,
where goods were exchanged.
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I was exchanging my
goodies back in the day.
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Yes, indeed.
100
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- I got to bring...
- On the black market.
101
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- I got to bring you back to church.
- You ain't bringing me to no church.
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I ain't goin' to no church.
The devil is a lie.
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- And you still married to him.
- Honey, honey...
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- Speak of the devil, listen. Listen.
- What, what, what?
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- Y'all want me to work the register?
- No, no.
106
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- Other people take...
- You sure?
107
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You have to be bonded for that job.
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If I took the register,
I'd be bonded out.
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Okay. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
110
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Listen, let's go over a little quick
review of what you're supposed to do.
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- You teach me.
- You're supposed to direct the customers...
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when they ask you for something,
and you can refer to this.
113
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Okay? Now,
kitchenware is on the fifth floor.
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- Kitchenware, fifth floor.
- Yes.
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- Women's apparel is on the second...
- Y'all sell pears?
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Y'all got produce up there?
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- Clothing. Women's clothing.
- Say, "Clothing." Don't say, "A pears."
118
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I don't know what
"apparels" is. "A pears."
119
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Okay. Young adults
is on the third floor.
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- Young adults on the third floor.
- Makeup and perfume is here.
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And over there across the hall.
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- I get it. I'll be fine.
- All right, and listen.
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Most important,
everybody gets the same greeting.
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When they come in,
you look them in the face...
125
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you smile pretty and you say,
"Merry Christmas.
126
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It's a beautiful day at Tifton's.
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Joy to you and yours.
Yes, may I help you?"
128
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That what I say?
Fine. I will say that.
129
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- You wanna go over it once?
- All right.
130
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- Here's a customer. Okay.
- Can you help me?
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- Yes. Merry...
- Yes.
132
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Mary had a little...
133
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- No, Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
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- It's a beautiful day at Tip...
- Tifton's.
135
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- Tap... Tip... Tiptoes.
- Joy to you.
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Joy to the world and the Lord
is come, and happy Easter.
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What can... What can I
do for you at Tifton's?
138
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Thank you. I'm looking
for women's lingerie.
139
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Honey? Who the lingerie for?
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For me, of course.
141
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I don't know about you
wearing the lingeries.
142
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Those days are over, honey.
Somebody should've told you it's passed.
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The lingeries is for young
people with tight, firm stuff.
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What I would suggest you do, hunty...
145
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I would suggest you walk
across the street to Target...
146
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and ask them for some of those
really nice big, big-girl drawers...
147
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so that you will be comfortable.
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You don't wanna walk around
with a slingshot up your butt.
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- Eileen!
- Come, come, come.
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Come. Let me help you.
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- You are so rude!
- She's something.
152
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No, you are the one that's rude
anytime you bring lingerie to a man.
153
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,587
Who was the 37th president
of the United States?
154
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I know.
155
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Bailey, do you know?
156
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:45,732
I know the answer.
157
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,901
I didn't ask you. I asked Bailey.
158
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:52,271
He don't know. He's always dirty.
159
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:54,807
And he's just a farm boy.
160
00:07:54,907 --> 00:08:00,246
Yes, but he's the only one to get
an A on all three of his last tests.
161
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,648
What did you get, Lucy?
162
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:04,250
Or you, Larry?
163
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,760
There will be no
bullying in this class.
164
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I'll see you all tomorrow.
Do your homework.
165
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:13,359
Look over the list of songs
for the Christmas Jubilee.
166
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:16,362
Christmas is five days away.
167
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Hold on a second, Bailey.
168
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You gotta start speaking up
and participating in class.
169
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,609
I know you knew the answer.
170
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You're are so smart and talented.
171
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:36,215
You get an A on every test.
You gotta believe in yourself.
172
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:39,885
Lucy's right.
I'm just an old farm boy.
173
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,656
There is no such thing
as "just a farm boy."
174
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:47,065
You are smart. You can
be anything you want.
175
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:51,731
I can only imagine if you could
just stay awake in class.
176
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,467
- Are you up late at night?
- No, ma'am.
177
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:58,205
I want you to sing the lead
solo at the Christmas Jubilee.
178
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,073
I'm sorry. I can't do that.
179
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,583
- Yes, you can.
- No.
180
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,651
You know what? I really
gotta go, Miss Williams.
181
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,591
My daddy's gonna be
waiting for me at home.
182
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,090
Go on.
183
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,332
Hello?
184
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,434
I don't hear from you in six years...
185
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,804
and you call me out of the
blue because you need my help.
186
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,473
Don't blame that on me.
187
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,409
You're the one who married Kelly
and stopped returning my calls.
188
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,177
You're not still bitter, are you?
189
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:40,789
Maybe. How is she?
190
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,555
I don't know. We're divorced.
191
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,386
Good. She was such a tramp.
192
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:51,023
I can't believe you married her and
dumped me. That's what you get.
193
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:53,192
Okay, okay.
194
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:56,128
Hey, pull up, It was high school.
Am I forgiven?
195
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:59,765
That depends. Can you help
me with my school situation?
196
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,702
- So you need sponsorship?
- Yes.
197
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,770
A call came in just as I
was leaving a meeting..
198
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,607
With a company that's in
the middle of a PR nightmare.
199
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,942
They could use some
goodwill right now.
200
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:13,779
Actually, in a town like yours.
So your timing may be perfect.
201
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,515
Tell me about it.
202
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,451
Can't do that until
we have a contract.
203
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:22,221
- You don't trust me?
- No, no, no, it's not that.
204
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,526
I have to protect my
interests, that's all.
205
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,260
Tell you what.
206
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,595
I'll come down with a contract,
you get your people to sign...
207
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,364
and I'm sure I can pull in...
208
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,408
at least a hundred grand for
your school and its event.
209
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,904
$100,000. That would be great.
210
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,906
How soon can you get here?
211
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,774
You need the money
right away, don't you?
212
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:44,577
Yeah. So you're willing
to drive down to Alabama?
213
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,113
I will drive over tomorrow.
214
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,615
We'll get the contract signed,
then I'll have to leave...
215
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,552
but I'll be back for the event.
216
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,732
That would be fantastic.
217
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,057
Oliver, thank you so much.
218
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,292
See you soon.
219
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,493
- You got it.
- Bye.
220
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,866
Child, that Powerball is going up.
221
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:09,168
Hello? Hey, I need y'all to
go get me some scratch-offs.
222
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,170
- Yeah, and play the numbers for me.
- Can you help me?
223
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:12,772
That Powerball has
gotten really high.
224
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,173
Play number 22...
225
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,242
- Excuse me.
- 17,5 and 6.
226
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,145
Go play them numbers, and bring
me a bunch of scratch offs. Yeah.
227
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,714
Just two, three of 'em.
Don't spend a lot of money.
228
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,049
I need some help!
229
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,951
Hold on, 'cause somebody's
screaming at me.
230
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,131
I'm getting ready to
choke her. Hold on.
231
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,158
Lady, you gonna need a damn
doctor if you holler at me again.
232
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,027
Do you understand?
Now, what can I help you with?
233
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,029
- I need a watch for my husband.
- A men's watch.
234
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,266
A men's watch. You know,
I like it with a leather band.
235
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,768
- You know, a nice thin watch.
- Here are some men's...
236
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,971
Oh, hell. It's time for my break.
237
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,906
- Time for my break.
- Break?
238
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,474
No, wait.
239
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,042
- You're so rude.
- Bye, bye, bye.
240
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:52,878
- You rude as hell. You rude as hell.
- Please. I need a watch.
241
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:55,348
Get out of my way. I'm trying
to go to the break room.
242
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,526
Wait! Come back!
243
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,465
You still here?
244
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:05,024
He called me back.
245
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,204
Yeah? And?
246
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:12,832
He thinks he can get us
$100,000 in sponsorship money.
247
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,767
$100,000?
248
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:17,103
- Oh, my goodness, that would be so great.
- I know.
249
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,438
That would not only
pay for the Jubilee...
250
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:22,241
that would take us well into
next year's school year.
251
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,677
We could get new books,
maybe even a new computer.
252
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:27,580
Wait, calm down. It hasn't
happened yet. It's not done.
253
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,349
Okay, but I have faith that it is.
254
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:34,820
Lacey, thank you so much for
doing this. I really appreciate it.
255
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,324
I know this school is not the best,
but it is all we got.
256
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,860
And I know you could have gone
anywhere in the country...
257
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,029
with the credentials you have.
258
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,505
- I love it here.
- Thank you.
259
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,968
He's coming down tomorrow
with the contract.
260
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,937
This is so wonderful!
I gotta call the mayor.
261
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,073
- Yes.
- He's gonna be so excited.
262
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,275
This is going to be a wonderful
Christmas after all!
263
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,954
It's gonna be fantastic.
264
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:01,950
All right. I'll see you tomorrow.
265
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,643
- Hello?
- I must be dialing the wrong number.
266
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,713
You said that already,
but you called back five times.
267
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,548
So what number you trying to get?
268
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,983
I'm trying to reach
my daughter, Lacey.
269
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,386
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
she just walked in. Hold on.
270
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,566
- Who is that?
- Your mama.
271
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,262
- Hi, Mama.
- Who was that?
272
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:51,864
That was Conner.
273
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:53,543
Conner?
274
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,936
That's the guy you hired
to help you with the farm?
275
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,738
Yeah, that's him.
276
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,574
Okay. I don't know if I
like him up there with you.
277
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,142
Suppose he gets fresh...
278
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,544
and you don't have no man
up there to protect you.
279
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,747
Mama, I'm fine. What's going on?
280
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,282
I can't wait until you
taste the dinner...
281
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,585
I have prepared for
you for Christmas.
282
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,187
Yeah, I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
283
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,697
I'm not gonna be able
to come home this year.
284
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,658
What?
285
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,761
Uh-uh. It's Christmas.
286
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,630
I know, it's just I'm just
getting settled in...
287
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,799
and the farm needs a lot of work.
288
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,301
Uh-uh. You not no
farmer in the dell now.
289
00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:30,870
It's not just the farm.
290
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,172
They've also decided to
extended the school year...
291
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,740
to the day before Christmas.
292
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,610
- What kind of school is that?
- We lost a lot of days...
293
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,746
because of the storms this summer,
so we have to make them up,
294
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,115
And I'm helping the kids prepare
songs for the Christmas Jubilee.
295
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:47,086
And we have a budget crisis.
So it's just too busy right now, Mom.
296
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,087
I'll come up there.
297
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,588
- No.
- Yes.
298
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,657
- I haven't seen you in nine months...
- It's not the right time.
299
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,659
And you don't drive.
300
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,262
I can get somebody to
drive up there with me.
301
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,631
I can ask your Aunt
Madea to come with me.
302
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,901
Mama, can we just skip it this year?
It's only Christmas.
303
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,469
You bite your tongue,
304
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,838
Christmas is the time of year...
305
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:10,282
when we celebrate the birth of
Jesus with our families and...
306
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,613
Lacey, I don't have
to tell you that...
307
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:17,416
you and I are the
only family we have,
308
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,596
I know. Mom, are you crying?
309
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,556
What was that, Conner?
310
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:25,758
I didn't say anything.
311
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,494
I'm sorry. Conner needs
my help, Mama. I gotta go.
312
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,765
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Love you Bye,
313
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,903
Do not look at me like that.
You don't understand.
314
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,878
I didn't say a word.
315
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,279
Are you okay?
316
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:51,417
Girl, I don't know why I let you talk
me into comin' and doin' this job.
317
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,453
- I didn't take my medicine this morning.
- What medicine?
318
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,758
Five milligrams
of "Don't choke that ho."
319
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,692
These customers gettin' right...
320
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,827
I feel I'm getting ready
to maybe catch a case.
321
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,473
- I could spit.
- What's wrong with you?
322
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,238
Lacey's not coming for Christmas.
323
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,602
That ain't no problem.
Children grow up.
324
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,570
They don't wanna come home sometimes.
325
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,249
Something's wrong.
326
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,474
- Eileen?
- What?
327
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:18,678
I know that look in your eye.
Don't go jumpin' to no conclusion.
328
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,513
I don't jump to conclusions.
329
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,516
Last time you went to
the doctor, you had a rash.
330
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:27,820
Walked up in there, told the man
you had cancer and you was dying.
331
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,658
Madea, many people in my
family have died of cancer.
332
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,693
- I know your family.
- Yes.
333
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,162
- My grandmother.
- Got hit by a bus.
334
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:41,267
But she had cancer. My uncle Bayrod.
335
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,003
- Drowned.
- Because he had cancer.
336
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,804
- Eileen?
- What?
337
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,107
No, no, no, no. Something is wrong.
338
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,843
Something is wrong with my child,
and I'm gonna find out what it is.
339
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,779
She's down there in the country,
and I don't know what's going on.
340
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,382
I haven't seen where she works,
where she live.
341
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,951
- It's just awful!
- Your daughter is grown.
342
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:01,954
Leave her alone. If she want to
come home, she will come home.
343
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,633
What you planning on doing?
344
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,691
I'm gonna go down there.
345
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,193
I'd like to see that,
'cause you don't drive.
346
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,263
- You do.
- Child, I ain't goin' to no Alabama.
347
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:14,934
Last time I was in Alabama, I was chained
to Andy Young and Jesse Jackson.
348
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,274
- You marched?
- We wasn't upright when we was marching.
349
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:23,008
- We gonna go down there.
- I'm not driving to no Alabama.
350
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:26,011
All my stuff is illegal. I don't
like driving through Georgia.
351
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,314
You think I'm gettin' ready
to drive through Alabama?
352
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,382
- I'll pay you.
- What time you wanna leave?
353
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,484
Okay. Good.
354
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,553
No, child. I can't get on
the road with my Cadillac.
355
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:38,791
It's got 4,785,000 miles on it,
and I just changed the oil in it.
356
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,859
Every light on the dashboard say...
357
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,266
"You crazy as hell if
you go anywhere in me."
358
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:48,000
- Madea...
- I can't do it, hon. I'm sorry.
359
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,181
Have you ever thought maybe she
just don't want to see you, Eileen?
360
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,006
My daughter loves me.
361
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:57,009
She loves spending time with me.
362
00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:00,412
All right, honey. If you find a ride,
I'll go up there with you.
363
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:03,024
All right. Well, I will work on it.
364
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,005
Conner.
365
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,632
- What the hell you think you're doin'?
- What are you talking about?
366
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,534
I was down at the feed store.
367
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,670
They tell me you're planning
on planting corn this year.
368
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,305
Yeah, I was.
369
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,540
I plant corn.
370
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,310
Well, actually, what I'm
working on can help all of us.
371
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,479
- What you're working on?
- Yeah.
372
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:37,016
You think you learned something down
in that college that I don't know about?
373
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,856
- That's not what I meant, Tanner.
- No, you don't.
374
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,389
And you better find
something else to plant.
375
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:46,158
You been gone from around
here for far too long.
376
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,826
I mean it, Conner.
377
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:51,667
Otherwise, I'll be here every day,
kick your ass like I did back in school.
378
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:03,575
Eileen, we've had a lot of
complaints about your friend.
379
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,144
Oh, no.
380
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,279
Hey there. I was
getting ready to go...
381
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:10,249
- What's the matter?
- We're going to have to ask you to leave.
382
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:14,153
Good, it's about damn time.
I get out of... Give me my check.
383
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,661
We'll mail it to you.
384
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,024
No, honey. Eileen,
you better tell her.
385
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,960
Ain't nobody gonna mail me no check.
I didn't mail my work up in here.
386
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,329
You ain't mailing me no check.
Where's my money?
387
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:27,099
Madea, go home. I'll call you later.
388
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,568
I don't give a damn who calling who.
Somebody gonna give me my money.
389
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,770
Would you please leave quietly?
390
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:33,972
Oh, sure. You want
me to leave quietly?
391
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,808
You want me to leave quietly?
392
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,077
I will show you how
to leave damn quietly.
393
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,045
Y'all gonna give me my damn money.
394
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:44,049
But before I get my damn purse,
I'm gonna get money out this register.
395
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,851
- Excuse me.
- No, no.
396
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,754
No, you can't do that. Put... Madea.
397
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,756
Where my purse?
Unlock the damn thing!
398
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,692
I got my purse here. This is $150.
399
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,495
- This is what you owe me.
- Put that money back.
400
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,564
I'm gonna take something else.
I'm gonna take this dress.
401
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,632
- Stop it!
- Take whatever I want out of here.
402
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:02,734
What's this pulling on me?
403
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,470
You're embarrassing us.
404
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,473
What the hell y'all looking at?
What the hell all y'all looking at?
405
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,843
It's Christmas, and I'm takin'
what the hell I want up in here!
406
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:14,379
What y'all gonna do about it?
What y'all gonna do about it?
407
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,015
- I'll take this too.
- She didn't take her medication today.
408
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:19,985
You got me coming up here,
trying to work in this place...
409
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:21,787
and I don't know
what the hell gonna...
410
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,956
Get out the way!
What the hell goin' on?
411
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,359
- I know what the hell I'm doing!
- She has never acted like this before.
412
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,495
I'm fabulous. I'm gone
with the wind fabulous.
413
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,333
I am so sorry.
414
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,619
Hi. I'm Lacey Williams,
Bailey's teacher.
415
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:56,561
- Right. Come on in.
- Thank you.
416
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,327
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
417
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,663
I just stopped by to talk to you.
418
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:07,833
I graded another one of Bailey's
homework assignments...
419
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,234
Listen, I'm sorry.
420
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,571
He has to help his daddy at night,
so he doesn't get much time to study.
421
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,841
Then he gets up early in the
morning to work with him...
422
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,920
so I'll just have to get
on him to do better.
423
00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:21,819
He can't get any better.
424
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,850
- He gets straight A's.
- What?
425
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:28,520
Yeah. And to know he works after
school and in the morning...
426
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,455
is even more impressive.
427
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:34,262
He really should go to a gifted
school with a fine arts department.
428
00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:37,302
Wow.
429
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:42,401
I always knew he was smart.
I didn't know he was that smart.
430
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,971
Me and his daddy never
got much schoolin'.
431
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:49,508
You really think Bailey could
make it outside of this place?
432
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,381
I know he can.
433
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,646
I mean, that's really
all I want for him.
434
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:57,549
Bailey is always telling me
how good you are to him...
435
00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:01,220
and that you defend him in front
of those other kids, so thank you.
436
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,756
- Well, he's a very special boy.
- Yeah, he is.
437
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:06,658
- Have a seat.
- Sure. Thank you.
438
00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:09,270
- Can I get you something to drink?
- Yes.
439
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:11,440
Thanks.
440
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,879
Thank you.
441
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:22,507
He also told me you want him to
sing at the Christmas Jubilee?
442
00:22:22,607 --> 00:22:24,943
Yes. He has a beautiful voice.
443
00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:27,679
You think the Jubilee is
gonna happen this year?
444
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,248
Yes, haven't you heard?
445
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,917
I got a friend of mine to
get us a sponsorship for it.
446
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,919
So it's definitely gonna happen.
447
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,793
- That's great news.
- Yeah, it really is.
448
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,029
Oh, hell. What do you want?
449
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:47,267
- Hi, I'm Lacey Williams.
- I know who you are.
450
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,636
You're Bailey's teacher.
Bailey's gonna be late to school.
451
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:53,908
He's got a lot of work to do here,
that's if he makes it at all.
452
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:57,051
No need come around
here no more. Okay?
453
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:00,217
I am so sorry.
454
00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:04,427
Merry Christmas.
455
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:11,523
Oliver, this is so funny.
456
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:14,960
I hadn't spoken to your mother
in a while, and we got talking...
457
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,163
and she said you were drivin'
to Alabama to see Lacey!
458
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:20,499
Miss Eileen, I'm happy
to have the company.
459
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:23,935
Did I tell you I take blood pressure
medicine that makes me have to pee?
460
00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:27,172
- I'll have to go to the bathroom soon.
- Okay, go in the bush.
461
00:23:27,272 --> 00:23:30,444
I'm not putting my tush over no bush.
I don't know what's wrong with you.
462
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:35,049
The leaves fell off
of it, but it work!
463
00:23:35,547 --> 00:23:37,449
- Jesus. Baby...
- It the wintertime.
464
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:39,651
Just keep your eyes ahead.
465
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:42,821
Okay? No, no, no. She's always
like this, since a child.
466
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,389
- Yeah, since my childhood.
- Something's wrong.
467
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,957
Something's wrong, but we accept it.
468
00:23:46,057 --> 00:23:48,026
You sure you didn't tell
her we were coming?
469
00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:50,162
I wanted this to be a big surprise!
470
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,841
I'm sure.
471
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,967
'Cause she's gonna be
so happy to see you!
472
00:23:56,067 --> 00:24:00,172
Madea, I told him how much
Lacey talks about him.
473
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:03,508
Why you hollerin' like I'm in the back
of an airplane and you in first class?
474
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,111
I can hear you. You right here.
475
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,080
All I'm saying is this...
476
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:10,082
- What's your name, boy? Olive Oil?
- Oliver.
477
00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:11,650
All I'm saying is this.
478
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:14,853
If she wanted to talk to you,
she would have called you all the time.
479
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,555
Don't get your hopes
up listening to Eileen.
480
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:19,858
Don't listen to her. You two
are gonna be together again.
481
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,260
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
I see it on your face.
482
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,995
I see it on your face. Yeah!
483
00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:25,997
I would like to see us
have another chance.
484
00:24:26,097 --> 00:24:28,700
Y'all was in high school back then.
I got to pee, son.
485
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,203
You been driving around
in circles for way too long.
486
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:34,339
Go on over there. Pull over there,
ask these people directions.
487
00:24:34,439 --> 00:24:36,708
I'm gonna go in here
and use the bathroom.
488
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,610
No, Madea.
This place don't look right.
489
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,946
Eileen, here. This a...
Child, please.
490
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,615
I grew up in the country.
Ain't nobody in here.
491
00:24:43,715 --> 00:24:45,795
He what sittin'
there willy-whilin'. Ask him.
492
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:49,087
Lord, this thing is high.
You gotta get me a step.
493
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:51,323
'Scuse me, sir.
You look like a nice man.
494
00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:53,592
How you doin'? We are lost.
He trying to find direction.
495
00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,727
I need a bathroom. Is there
a bathroom here somewhere?
496
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:58,029
Yes, ma'am. Right over yonder.
497
00:24:58,129 --> 00:25:01,073
Get the directions here.
I got me to pee.
498
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,638
Got to pee. Hell...
499
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:10,112
What the...
500
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,487
Go! Drive! Drive, Olive Oil, drive!
501
00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:24,956
Put the pedal to the metal.
Get the hell outta here!
502
00:25:25,056 --> 00:25:27,526
- They're tryin' to get me!
- What did you do?
503
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:30,036
Drive! Hell, they're KKK!
504
00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:40,806
- This ain't the right address, is it?
- That's what she said.
505
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:45,143
This can't be the right address.
These people might not be friendly.
506
00:25:45,243 --> 00:25:49,848
Look, this is 2013,
and it's almost Christmas.
507
00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:51,583
Sure it'll be fine.
508
00:25:51,683 --> 00:25:54,119
Boy, did you see what I
just went through in town?
509
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,687
True.
510
00:25:55,787 --> 00:25:58,089
This just don't feel right.
511
00:25:58,189 --> 00:26:01,993
Up here in these woods,
ain't nobody around but us and trees.
512
00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:04,173
I don't like this.
Go knock on the door.
513
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:08,467
- Thanks a lot.
- What you worried about, son?
514
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,535
Somebody got to
live to tell the story.
515
00:26:10,635 --> 00:26:13,071
Tell 'em what happened to you.
Somebody got be an activist.
516
00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:15,173
Somebody got to call Sharpton.
517
00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:16,681
Never mind.
518
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,362
Conner, where are you going?
519
00:26:22,462 --> 00:26:25,198
- Hey, what's going on?
- I mentioned Tanner and he lost it.
520
00:26:25,298 --> 00:26:27,768
- Conner!
- I've been waiting to see this.
521
00:26:27,868 --> 00:26:29,870
- I'm goin' with you, boy.
- Conner!
522
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,004
Conner!
523
00:26:44,913 --> 00:26:48,050
- Uh-oh. Who is that?
- I told you this was the wrong address.
524
00:26:48,150 --> 00:26:49,923
We gotta go. Back up.
525
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,955
There she is! Pull up.
526
00:26:54,055 --> 00:26:55,590
We're at the right place.
527
00:26:55,690 --> 00:26:57,599
- Come on. Hurry up.
- There she is.
528
00:26:59,528 --> 00:27:02,336
- Lacey!
- Look at you.
529
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,444
Oh, my word. What are you doing here?
530
00:27:10,071 --> 00:27:13,742
I hitched a ride
with Oliver. Surprise!
531
00:27:13,842 --> 00:27:15,310
Surprise!
532
00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:17,679
- We came.
- Surprise.
533
00:27:17,779 --> 00:27:19,358
Who are you?
534
00:27:20,782 --> 00:27:22,751
I'm Conner.
535
00:27:22,851 --> 00:27:25,192
Girl, what the coroner doing here?
Who done died?
536
00:27:28,089 --> 00:27:32,433
You are the farmhand that
she hired. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
537
00:27:33,495 --> 00:27:35,097
I am Eileen, her mother.
538
00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:39,507
And this is Madea,
her great-aunt on my daddy's side.
539
00:27:41,269 --> 00:27:43,171
She sure don't look happy to see us.
540
00:27:43,271 --> 00:27:45,373
You better bite your tongue.
541
00:27:45,473 --> 00:27:48,486
She is happy to see
me anytime. Tell her.
542
00:27:51,479 --> 00:27:55,550
That don't look like happiness, honey.
That look like puredee constipation.
543
00:27:56,151 --> 00:27:57,619
Hi, Conner.
544
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,087
How are ya? How ya doing?
545
00:27:59,187 --> 00:28:01,089
This handsome thing...
546
00:28:01,189 --> 00:28:03,859
this is Oliver, her boyfriend.
547
00:28:03,959 --> 00:28:05,694
Her boyfriend?
548
00:28:05,794 --> 00:28:07,931
Ex-boyfriend.
549
00:28:08,864 --> 00:28:11,566
It was nice of you to call him.
550
00:28:11,666 --> 00:28:14,269
That was a nice ruse to
get to see him. Fund-raiser.
551
00:28:14,369 --> 00:28:16,338
No, it wasn't a ruse.
552
00:28:16,438 --> 00:28:18,240
You know you miss him.
553
00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:21,209
Anyway, could you get my bags,
farmhand, please?
554
00:28:21,309 --> 00:28:23,446
- Yeah.
- I'll help.
555
00:28:24,479 --> 00:28:27,215
Lacey, come show us this farm.
556
00:28:27,315 --> 00:28:29,417
A little dusty, dusty.
557
00:28:29,517 --> 00:28:32,621
Come, my dear. I knew that.
558
00:28:32,721 --> 00:28:35,323
Baby, you know you got asthma.
559
00:28:35,423 --> 00:28:37,325
Mama, I don't have asthma anymore.
560
00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:39,628
Yeah, but you still
gotta be careful...
561
00:28:39,728 --> 00:28:42,364
because that could lead to cancer.
562
00:28:42,464 --> 00:28:44,933
Everything don't lead to cancer,
Eileen. Lord, help her.
563
00:28:45,033 --> 00:28:47,435
I'm gonna open the door.
Y'all need fresh air up in here.
564
00:28:47,535 --> 00:28:49,971
Got all these animals. This is
a nice room. I'll stay in here.
565
00:28:50,071 --> 00:28:51,439
- Good, good, good.
- Sure.
566
00:28:51,539 --> 00:28:53,975
Lacey, you do not
have a Christmas tree?
567
00:28:54,075 --> 00:28:55,544
- No, I don't.
- Oh, my God.
568
00:28:55,644 --> 00:28:58,647
- That's why you wanted me to come here.
- Yeah, that's exactly why.
569
00:28:58,747 --> 00:29:00,382
- I'm gonna take this room.
- Okay.
570
00:29:00,482 --> 00:29:01,817
- Okay?
- That's nice too.
571
00:29:01,917 --> 00:29:03,518
- That's a nice room.
- Thank you.
572
00:29:03,618 --> 00:29:06,521
- Is this one yours, Madea?
- Yeah, put it in the room on the end.
573
00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:08,223
- I'm staying down there.
- All right.
574
00:29:08,323 --> 00:29:10,058
- All right.
- Is this your room here?
575
00:29:10,158 --> 00:29:12,427
- It's my room.
- It's lovely.
576
00:29:12,527 --> 00:29:14,196
Thank you. It's not clean.
577
00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:16,398
- Okay, now where's the kitchen?
- Let's go that way.
578
00:29:16,498 --> 00:29:18,133
- It's in there. Go ahead.
- I'm comin'.
579
00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:20,101
Don't be pushing on me.
580
00:29:20,201 --> 00:29:22,537
We saw this. This is the
dining room. It's yellow.
581
00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:25,273
It's yellow. It's bright yellow!
582
00:29:25,373 --> 00:29:26,942
It's nice, Mama, huh?
583
00:29:27,042 --> 00:29:29,477
Yeah, it's not my cup
of tea, but you know.
584
00:29:29,577 --> 00:29:31,880
- Back porch and everything.
- Aunt Madea, you like it?
585
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:34,783
- Yeah, look at all the animals.
- It's very nice. Yes.
586
00:29:34,883 --> 00:29:36,852
Ask the man to bring
the groceries in.
587
00:29:36,952 --> 00:29:39,521
- They're in the trunk of the car.
- His name is Conner.
588
00:29:39,621 --> 00:29:43,391
I don't like you being up
here with him by yourself.
589
00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,894
What is Oliver supposed to think,
you living with a man?
590
00:29:45,994 --> 00:29:48,063
Why should I care what Oliver thinks?
591
00:29:48,163 --> 00:29:50,565
- You should. He still wants you.
- Mama, please.
592
00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:52,334
No, and you still want him.
593
00:29:52,434 --> 00:29:54,669
I know it. I got that feeling.
594
00:29:54,769 --> 00:29:57,239
I want some grandbabies.
What you waiting on?
595
00:29:57,339 --> 00:29:59,741
Eileen, stop meddling with that girl.
596
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:03,252
Okay? You is in everybody's business.
Just leave this child alone.
597
00:30:03,812 --> 00:30:05,981
You have been talking
since we got in the car.
598
00:30:06,081 --> 00:30:09,317
You talk too much, Eileen. Please,
just shut up for a little while here.
599
00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:11,152
Leave this child alone.
She living her life.
600
00:30:11,252 --> 00:30:14,128
She happy out here in the
farm playing Old MacDonald.
601
00:30:24,933 --> 00:30:26,568
- Any more?
- Just the groceries.
602
00:30:26,668 --> 00:30:28,136
All right.
603
00:30:28,236 --> 00:30:30,316
- Hi.
- Wow.
604
00:30:31,239 --> 00:30:33,819
- It's great to see you, Lacey.
- Yeah, you too.
605
00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:37,045
Let me put these down,
and I'll be ready to go to school.
606
00:30:37,145 --> 00:30:38,553
- Yeah.
- All right?
607
00:30:43,385 --> 00:30:46,021
So, you didn't tell me
your boyfriend was coming.
608
00:30:46,121 --> 00:30:48,390
High school. Non-factor, trust me.
609
00:30:48,490 --> 00:30:50,592
My mother... I can't believe
she just showed up.
610
00:30:50,692 --> 00:30:52,727
And your parents are on their way.
611
00:30:52,827 --> 00:30:56,298
Yep. Gonna be here right after
you get back from school.
612
00:30:56,398 --> 00:30:58,600
I know. What are we gonna do?
613
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:00,438
You better think of something.
614
00:31:01,603 --> 00:31:04,343
- Baby...
- Boyfriend.
615
00:31:06,107 --> 00:31:08,543
- Are you ready to go?
- Yes, sure.
616
00:31:08,643 --> 00:31:12,414
Hold on. Hold on. I heard
somebody say, "Go." Oh, Lord.
617
00:31:12,514 --> 00:31:14,683
Take me anywhere. I got to
get away from your mama.
618
00:31:14,783 --> 00:31:17,085
I'll go to hell and back
to get away from her.
619
00:31:17,185 --> 00:31:19,087
She talk too damn much.
Can I go with y'all?
620
00:31:19,187 --> 00:31:23,091
Okay. Maybe you can keep an eye on
my class while I go into the meeting.
621
00:31:23,191 --> 00:31:25,560
I'm sorry. Watch your class?
622
00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:27,862
She wants me to watch
her class. Children?
623
00:31:27,962 --> 00:31:29,597
Child, me and children
don't get along.
624
00:31:29,697 --> 00:31:31,199
Now, let me see.
625
00:31:31,299 --> 00:31:32,600
Ankle-biting...
626
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,336
disease-carrying...
627
00:31:34,436 --> 00:31:38,416
little children of God,
or your mama...
628
00:31:39,808 --> 00:31:42,510
satanic, loud-mouthed,
diarrhea woman from hell.
629
00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:44,849
I think I'll go with the children.
Praise God.
630
00:31:45,914 --> 00:31:48,450
- All right.
- I'll drop you back off on my way home.
631
00:31:48,550 --> 00:31:50,518
Okay, close your trunk, son.
Close your trunk.
632
00:31:50,618 --> 00:31:52,287
I'm gonna ride with him.
633
00:31:52,387 --> 00:31:55,657
No offense to y'all car,
'cause this a nice car.
634
00:31:55,757 --> 00:31:57,959
But this bring back memories, child.
635
00:31:58,059 --> 00:32:00,996
I got pregnant. Meat Loaf was
playing "Dashboard Light."
636
00:32:01,096 --> 00:32:04,165
I was sitting up there, and I kept
hitting my head on that steering wheel.
637
00:32:04,265 --> 00:32:06,601
It was just awful.
It was an awful time.
638
00:32:06,701 --> 00:32:09,070
Look. The door even sound the same.
639
00:32:09,170 --> 00:32:12,574
Child, this is just what it's...
Yep, that bring back memories.
640
00:32:12,674 --> 00:32:14,376
Watch this.
641
00:32:14,476 --> 00:32:16,611
That's what I used to do. Drop it.
642
00:32:16,711 --> 00:32:20,348
That car built for comfort and
built for speed, just like me.
643
00:32:20,448 --> 00:32:22,784
This a nice truck, but how
I'm s'posed to get in here?
644
00:32:22,884 --> 00:32:25,253
- Pull the seat back.
- I'll sit in the back. Hold on.
645
00:32:25,353 --> 00:32:27,789
No, you don't have to...
Yeah, just pull that back.
646
00:32:27,889 --> 00:32:30,792
You got to get some of them
things to help me get in here.
647
00:32:30,892 --> 00:32:33,561
Is there something to...
Hold on. I got it.
648
00:32:33,661 --> 00:32:35,530
Yeah, that's it. Come on in.
649
00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:37,732
Boy, you got to get a low car here.
650
00:32:39,801 --> 00:32:42,303
- You 'bout to make me mad.
- Give me your hand.
651
00:32:42,403 --> 00:32:45,882
- Now, hold on.
- All right, I got you.
652
00:32:46,908 --> 00:32:50,145
- Good morning, class.
- Good morning.
653
00:32:50,245 --> 00:32:53,915
This is my Aunt Mabel.
But everybody calls her Madea.
654
00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:56,818
I have to go to a meeting down
the hall with Ms. Porter...
655
00:32:56,918 --> 00:33:00,055
and I asked Miss Madea
to keep an eye on you.
656
00:33:00,155 --> 00:33:03,358
Now, you know what to do and
you know how to behave, right?
657
00:33:03,458 --> 00:33:04,993
Yes, ma'am.
658
00:33:05,093 --> 00:33:07,462
- I'll be right back. Thanks, Madea.
- Yeah, I love it.
659
00:33:07,562 --> 00:33:10,098
I love well-behaved children.
That's wonderful.
660
00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:11,936
Y'all look so nice.
661
00:33:17,805 --> 00:33:21,209
Hello. Hello. Now, y'all got to
go back to the Stepford children.
662
00:33:21,309 --> 00:33:24,879
Don't act like you... Don't act
like this. Now, calm the hell down.
663
00:33:24,979 --> 00:33:28,616
I'm in here. Do yourself a favor.
Do the right thing.
664
00:33:28,716 --> 00:33:31,219
- You belong in this class?
- Yes, ma'am.
665
00:33:31,319 --> 00:33:33,855
- Okay. What's your name?
- Bailey.
666
00:33:33,955 --> 00:33:35,523
Bailey? Okay. Well, go on.
667
00:33:35,623 --> 00:33:38,693
Your teacher went down the hall,
and I'm sitting in for her. Have a seat.
668
00:33:38,793 --> 00:33:40,595
You better hope she comes back.
669
00:33:40,695 --> 00:33:43,799
She's the only teacher
that likes you here.
670
00:33:47,035 --> 00:33:50,071
Don't sit by me. You are so dirty.
671
00:33:50,171 --> 00:33:52,440
Leave that boy alone. Where else
he gonna sit? Sit down, son.
672
00:33:52,540 --> 00:33:54,075
Sit down. Don't worry about her.
673
00:33:54,175 --> 00:33:57,579
Don't you ever pick on somebody just
'cause you can. Do you understand?
674
00:33:57,679 --> 00:33:59,647
They used to do that to me
when I was in kindergarten.
675
00:33:59,747 --> 00:34:02,584
'Cause I was six feet tall,
they all want to talk about me.
676
00:34:02,684 --> 00:34:05,086
I had a full figure and
curves and all that stuff.
677
00:34:05,186 --> 00:34:07,555
They wanted to make fun of me.
But I wasn't having it.
678
00:34:07,655 --> 00:34:11,292
You understand? I fought back.
That's why I got tough-skinned.
679
00:34:11,392 --> 00:34:14,162
You may have to fight back sometimes.
Do you understand?
680
00:34:14,262 --> 00:34:18,299
Don't worry about these people in
here trying to make you feel bad.
681
00:34:18,399 --> 00:34:21,269
You got to be nice to people.
Pass it on, niceness.
682
00:34:21,369 --> 00:34:23,271
- Do you understand?
- Yes, ma'am.
683
00:34:23,371 --> 00:34:27,008
All right, I'm going to write
my name on the board...
684
00:34:27,108 --> 00:34:29,745
so you all will know what my name is.
685
00:34:30,845 --> 00:34:33,050
Ain't no chalk.
Y'all ain't got no chalk?
686
00:34:33,982 --> 00:34:35,950
Ain't got no eraser either.
"No cause..."
687
00:34:36,050 --> 00:34:38,853
Okay. I don't know
what all that mean.
688
00:34:38,953 --> 00:34:42,262
All right. Well,
what we gonna do is...
689
00:34:43,258 --> 00:34:44,759
I'm gonna tell y'all a story.
690
00:34:44,859 --> 00:34:48,496
This is the story of Christmas.
Christmas.
691
00:34:48,596 --> 00:34:53,001
This is what I learned when I
went to school... Sunday school.
692
00:34:53,101 --> 00:34:57,411
This is the story of the nativities.
693
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,177
Little baby Jesus was born.
694
00:35:02,277 --> 00:35:04,857
He was born to the Virgin Mary...
695
00:35:05,780 --> 00:35:09,717
J. Blige, and as Mary was on tour...
696
00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,619
she met this man named Joe...
697
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,688
Manganiello, who played a werewolf.
698
00:35:13,788 --> 00:35:16,391
And he was in love with her.
She said, "Joe.
699
00:35:16,491 --> 00:35:18,826
I am thou-ist with the child-ist.
700
00:35:18,926 --> 00:35:21,696
And the holiness is come upon me...
701
00:35:21,796 --> 00:35:24,206
and I'm going to have a baby-ist."
702
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,003
And Joe said, "Really?"
703
00:35:29,103 --> 00:35:31,172
They ain't know what to do.
704
00:35:31,272 --> 00:35:33,241
So he went on and stayed with her...
705
00:35:33,341 --> 00:35:36,711
and they went on 'cause they
was expecting the holy child.
706
00:35:36,811 --> 00:35:38,279
That's right.
707
00:35:38,379 --> 00:35:42,784
And the Bible say in
second "Deuteronomo"...
708
00:35:42,884 --> 00:35:47,889
that when he came to the earth...
709
00:35:47,989 --> 00:35:51,726
he came through the Virgin...
piña colada.
710
00:35:51,826 --> 00:35:53,795
And as she was there...
711
00:35:53,895 --> 00:35:56,831
they were trying to find
somewhere to have the baby...
712
00:35:56,931 --> 00:36:00,668
but they kept going to all these hotels,
and wouldn't none of 'em let them in.
713
00:36:00,768 --> 00:36:02,704
Marriott. Shut the door.
714
00:36:02,804 --> 00:36:04,939
Hilton. Shut the door.
715
00:36:05,039 --> 00:36:07,675
Tried to get to the Ritz-Carlton,
they said, "You don't belong here."
716
00:36:07,775 --> 00:36:10,745
Everybody just got put out.
They went to the Motel 6.
717
00:36:10,845 --> 00:36:14,449
They didn't even leave the light
on for her. She was in the dark.
718
00:36:15,516 --> 00:36:18,019
Anyway, there was Mary...
719
00:36:18,119 --> 00:36:20,788
'bout to have that baby,
so she sat down at a bus stop.
720
00:36:20,888 --> 00:36:22,890
MARTA bus passed by,
wouldn't even pick her up...
721
00:36:22,990 --> 00:36:25,760
to take her to the holy
city of Birmingham.
722
00:36:25,860 --> 00:36:29,831
And as she sat there,
she went into laborer.
723
00:36:29,931 --> 00:36:32,000
And as she started laboring...
724
00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:34,068
a mangy dog walked up beside her.
725
00:36:34,168 --> 00:36:37,639
See, God will send you a dog when
you need it, even if you don't.
726
00:36:37,739 --> 00:36:39,707
And that dog said,
"What's wrong with you?"
727
00:36:39,807 --> 00:36:43,611
And as she sat there,
she had that baby...
728
00:36:43,711 --> 00:36:46,681
and that baby came
next to that mangy dog.
729
00:36:46,781 --> 00:36:49,984
That's why they say he
was born in a mangy.
730
00:36:50,084 --> 00:36:52,220
Hallelujah. Let the Lord use ya.
731
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,356
Okay, that's the story of the baby Jesus.
That's the hip-hop version.
732
00:36:55,456 --> 00:36:58,901
I'm glad I went to church
and to Sunday school. Okay.
733
00:37:00,061 --> 00:37:02,072
Where my purse?
734
00:37:03,865 --> 00:37:05,876
Where my purse?
735
00:37:07,368 --> 00:37:09,270
Y'all ain't seen what
happened to my purse?
736
00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:11,005
I'm gonna tell y'all another story.
737
00:37:11,105 --> 00:37:13,241
This is the story of Easter Sunday.
738
00:37:13,341 --> 00:37:16,144
Jesus was hanging
between two thieves.
739
00:37:16,244 --> 00:37:18,746
One was Baranibus and the
other was the Dinosaurus.
740
00:37:18,846 --> 00:37:20,983
Somebody better find
my purse right now.
741
00:37:23,017 --> 00:37:26,087
- All we have to do is sign that thing?
- Yes.
742
00:37:26,187 --> 00:37:28,456
Lacey told me you needed
the money right away.
743
00:37:28,556 --> 00:37:31,192
So I spoke with my boss and
got the money in advance.
744
00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:33,372
We're both very sure we'll
get the sponsorship.
745
00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:35,863
What's in it for you?
746
00:37:35,963 --> 00:37:39,400
Well, my company gets paid a
10% commission by the company.
747
00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:41,469
You get the entire 100 grand.
748
00:37:41,569 --> 00:37:44,305
It will help us with the shortfall.
749
00:37:44,405 --> 00:37:46,841
- Is everything okay, Wilbur?
- Yes, Your Honor.
750
00:37:46,941 --> 00:37:50,022
It's good. It is good.
751
00:37:50,545 --> 00:37:52,625
All right then. Let's do this.
752
00:37:59,053 --> 00:38:01,622
Wonderful. Here you go.
753
00:38:01,722 --> 00:38:04,826
Now, we'll bring the sponsors down
to the Jubilee for a photo op.
754
00:38:04,926 --> 00:38:07,563
- That's all we ask.
- Of course.
755
00:38:08,496 --> 00:38:09,964
- Thank you, son.
- You got it.
756
00:38:10,064 --> 00:38:11,632
Thank you so much.
757
00:38:11,732 --> 00:38:13,968
You have no idea how
much we needed this.
758
00:38:14,068 --> 00:38:16,170
- It's my pleasure.
- Lacey.
759
00:38:16,270 --> 00:38:19,351
- Thank you.
- This is my town too.
760
00:38:20,274 --> 00:38:21,853
Glad I can help.
761
00:38:23,077 --> 00:38:24,412
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
762
00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:26,091
After you.
763
00:38:27,582 --> 00:38:29,050
There you go.
764
00:38:29,150 --> 00:38:32,060
You have no clue how much
you've just helped us. I mean...
765
00:38:32,653 --> 00:38:35,734
It was my pleasure.
I'm glad I could help.
766
00:38:37,325 --> 00:38:39,660
- Thank you again.
- You got it.
767
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,963
- Here.
- What's this?
768
00:38:42,063 --> 00:38:44,732
- It's your Christmas present.
- No. I can't take that.
769
00:38:44,832 --> 00:38:47,268
- Sure you can.
- I really can't.
770
00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:49,778
You've already done
enough for us. Thank you.
771
00:38:53,941 --> 00:38:55,243
What are you doing?
772
00:38:55,343 --> 00:38:57,548
Your mother told me she
thought you missed me.
773
00:38:59,213 --> 00:39:02,884
Look, I know we were children,
but I think about you still.
774
00:39:02,984 --> 00:39:04,886
Listen, Oliver,
that was a long time ago...
775
00:39:04,986 --> 00:39:07,355
- and I actually have to tell you...
- Lacey!
776
00:39:07,455 --> 00:39:09,690
- Get in here. Quick!
- Excuse me.
777
00:39:09,790 --> 00:39:11,369
Hurry!
778
00:39:11,959 --> 00:39:13,594
There's a weird woman in here.
779
00:39:13,694 --> 00:39:15,730
What they did back in the day...
780
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:17,198
Lacey, who is this?
781
00:39:17,298 --> 00:39:19,634
- My aunt Madea.
- Hi.
782
00:39:19,734 --> 00:39:21,068
What are you doing?
783
00:39:21,168 --> 00:39:24,272
I was just teaching these
children a lesson on Jesus...
784
00:39:24,372 --> 00:39:26,808
from the time he was born
until the time he died on Earth.
785
00:39:26,908 --> 00:39:29,444
She tried to steal my purse, but I
taught her a lesson. Here you go.
786
00:39:29,544 --> 00:39:32,980
Now you have been crowned
the Christmas... Praise. Hallelujah.
787
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,416
- I got her, didn't I? I got her, Bailey.
- Yes, ma'am.
788
00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:38,553
'Scuse me. Oliver, take me to the house.
I'm getting the hell outta here.
789
00:39:38,653 --> 00:39:40,455
We'll talk when I get
back for the Jubilee.
790
00:39:40,555 --> 00:39:43,727
Lucy. How do you even...
How did she...
791
00:39:47,061 --> 00:39:49,141
That's a nice-lookin' tree.
792
00:40:08,549 --> 00:40:10,017
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
793
00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:12,119
- Are they here yet?
- Nope.
794
00:40:12,219 --> 00:40:14,789
I rushed home. How's my mother?
795
00:40:14,889 --> 00:40:17,291
I don't know. She only
said two words to me.
796
00:40:17,391 --> 00:40:19,227
You think of how you're
gonna handle this yet?
797
00:40:19,327 --> 00:40:21,162
No. Were you able to
talk to your parents?
798
00:40:21,262 --> 00:40:22,841
Nope, no cell phone.
799
00:40:24,932 --> 00:40:27,672
Guess I'll have to talk to
'em now 'cause they're here.
800
00:40:29,770 --> 00:40:31,739
- Hey, hey!
- Hi, y'all!
801
00:40:31,839 --> 00:40:33,708
Hey, hey! Look at you!
802
00:40:33,808 --> 00:40:35,615
Don't you go nowhere.
803
00:40:36,877 --> 00:40:38,513
I'm gonna get your mama.
804
00:40:38,613 --> 00:40:41,349
- I look all right?
- Yeah, you look great.
805
00:40:41,449 --> 00:40:43,484
- Son! Son!
- Mama! Daddy!
806
00:40:43,584 --> 00:40:45,288
Look at you!
807
00:40:45,886 --> 00:40:47,624
Daddy, not the bear hug!
808
00:40:48,923 --> 00:40:50,892
Your old man still got it, don't he?
809
00:40:50,992 --> 00:40:53,361
Look at my Grizzly Adams.
810
00:40:53,461 --> 00:40:56,838
Look at you. You look
like a mountain man.
811
00:40:57,632 --> 00:41:00,701
Hey, Son, see this? This ain't fat.
This is all foreskin.
812
00:41:00,801 --> 00:41:02,870
Buddy, stop. Don't start so early.
813
00:41:02,970 --> 00:41:04,705
- You must be Lacey.
- Yes.
814
00:41:04,805 --> 00:41:06,374
Look at you!
815
00:41:06,474 --> 00:41:08,109
- Oh, my!
- You put her down.
816
00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:10,845
You don't gotta break
her and snap her neck.
817
00:41:10,945 --> 00:41:13,114
Just give him a little nudge
to the flapjacks there.
818
00:41:13,214 --> 00:41:16,183
He'll put you down.
Where are my manners?
819
00:41:16,283 --> 00:41:19,353
I am Conner's mama.
Please call me Mrs. Williams.
820
00:41:19,453 --> 00:41:21,856
- Hi.
- I kiddin'! You...
821
00:41:21,956 --> 00:41:25,003
Call me Kim or Mama.
Just don't call me late for dinner.
822
00:41:25,526 --> 00:41:26,994
I'm joshing you.
823
00:41:27,094 --> 00:41:29,397
- Look how pretty. She's very pretty.
- Thank you.
824
00:41:29,497 --> 00:41:32,066
She is even more beautiful than
I ever could have imagined.
825
00:41:32,166 --> 00:41:34,201
Thank you.
826
00:41:34,301 --> 00:41:37,004
So nice to finally meet you.
827
00:41:37,104 --> 00:41:38,573
You too.
828
00:41:38,673 --> 00:41:40,141
Look at this place.
829
00:41:40,241 --> 00:41:42,577
It is beautiful.
This place is stupendous.
830
00:41:42,677 --> 00:41:45,947
My mama and daddy...
Sorry. I'm sorry.
831
00:41:46,047 --> 00:41:48,449
They just would've been
so proud. Thank you.
832
00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:50,185
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mama.
833
00:41:50,951 --> 00:41:53,220
I was so upset when I
heard you two eloped.
834
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,723
I thought maybe you'd
come down to Louisiana...
835
00:41:55,823 --> 00:41:58,559
and went up the bayou for the
Swamp Manor to get hitched.
836
00:41:58,659 --> 00:42:01,929
We would have thrown you
such a shindig. You know that.
837
00:42:02,029 --> 00:42:03,998
Hey, I'm glad y'all did elope.
838
00:42:04,098 --> 00:42:06,400
You done saved me
an assload of money.
839
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:07,969
So I appreciate it.
840
00:42:08,069 --> 00:42:10,204
Well, you've spent enough
money on me already, Daddy.
841
00:42:10,304 --> 00:42:12,607
- I'm glad you recognize that.
- Honey, we love you.
842
00:42:12,707 --> 00:42:14,742
Anything you want, my son. Anything.
843
00:42:14,842 --> 00:42:16,077
Well...
844
00:42:16,177 --> 00:42:17,813
Have you two eaten?
845
00:42:19,547 --> 00:42:21,627
No, but...
846
00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:24,485
Good, 'cause I caught
Christmas dinner.
847
00:42:24,585 --> 00:42:25,987
Caught?
848
00:42:26,087 --> 00:42:30,260
We are gonna have hot possum potpie.
I'm gonna make it.
849
00:42:30,925 --> 00:42:32,927
It's good. Nice flaky crust.
850
00:42:33,027 --> 00:42:34,495
Gonna have possum stew...
851
00:42:34,595 --> 00:42:37,131
and your uncle DeWayne done
got me some white lightning.
852
00:42:37,231 --> 00:42:39,367
Here, let me take this, Daddy.
853
00:42:39,467 --> 00:42:41,969
Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.
854
00:42:42,069 --> 00:42:45,039
She's a vegetarianist? On a farm.
855
00:42:45,139 --> 00:42:47,108
- Honey, that must be hard.
- That don't mean nothing.
856
00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:50,645
We's Baptist, and we still like a
nice possum stew every now and then.
857
00:42:50,745 --> 00:42:53,848
No, Buddy. It means
she doesn't eat meat.
858
00:42:53,948 --> 00:42:57,118
- She doesn't eat meat.
- Oh, you're a tofu farter.
859
00:42:57,218 --> 00:42:59,186
- Daddy.
- Ain't nothing wrong with that.
860
00:42:59,286 --> 00:43:01,455
I like tofu farters. God bless you.
861
00:43:01,555 --> 00:43:03,524
All I'm saying, Son,
if she don't eat meat...
862
00:43:03,624 --> 00:43:07,171
that might be a bad thing when it
comes to certain parts of the anatomy.
863
00:43:07,762 --> 00:43:11,098
Mama, can you please... I'm sorry.
864
00:43:11,198 --> 00:43:13,000
We just met her. Now, stop.
865
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:15,536
- Start slow, all right?
- I was just kidding.
866
00:43:15,636 --> 00:43:17,104
I'm sorry. He's crazy.
867
00:43:17,204 --> 00:43:19,273
What are we doing standing
out here getting all dusty?
868
00:43:19,373 --> 00:43:22,510
Let's go inside and get
our meal on. I'm starvin'.
869
00:43:22,610 --> 00:43:25,479
I brought you some spices
from your Aunt Tutu's garden.
870
00:43:25,579 --> 00:43:27,048
- Okay. Mama...
- You're gonna love 'em.
871
00:43:27,148 --> 00:43:29,784
- Let me go get that.
- Hang on, y'all.
872
00:43:29,884 --> 00:43:32,362
Lacey's mama is cookin'.
873
00:43:32,787 --> 00:43:34,755
Lacey's ma... She's here?
874
00:43:34,855 --> 00:43:36,290
- Your mama's here now?
- Yes.
875
00:43:36,390 --> 00:43:38,793
- Her mama is here, Buddy.
- Hey, hey! All right.
876
00:43:38,893 --> 00:43:40,628
Looks like we get
to meet the in-laws.
877
00:43:40,728 --> 00:43:42,997
Actually, we kind of have a problem.
878
00:43:43,097 --> 00:43:44,365
What's the problem?
879
00:43:44,465 --> 00:43:46,670
Lacey hadn't told her
mama that we're married.
880
00:43:47,268 --> 00:43:49,370
- What?
- Why ain't you told her?
881
00:43:49,470 --> 00:43:50,638
Well...
882
00:43:50,738 --> 00:43:53,307
my mother had dreams
for my entire life...
883
00:43:53,407 --> 00:43:56,488
and Conner was not in that dream.
884
00:43:58,879 --> 00:44:00,347
I'm sorry. I do...
885
00:44:00,447 --> 00:44:03,417
- I don't understand.
- I think I do. Let me ask you something.
886
00:44:03,517 --> 00:44:06,791
When she had them dreams,
was they in color or black-and-white?
887
00:44:11,192 --> 00:44:13,329
She doesn't want you
with a white man.
888
00:44:15,996 --> 00:44:18,332
I'm sorry. That's awful.
889
00:44:18,432 --> 00:44:20,401
Honey, we taught
all of our children...
890
00:44:20,501 --> 00:44:22,670
"Never see color. Only see heart."
891
00:44:22,770 --> 00:44:26,073
- Isn't that right, Conner?
- That's right.
892
00:44:26,173 --> 00:44:29,777
It's such a shame she does not
know what kind of person you are.
893
00:44:30,611 --> 00:44:32,379
I'll tell you who he is.
894
00:44:32,479 --> 00:44:34,949
Always taught him to
look at a woman's heart.
895
00:44:35,049 --> 00:44:37,118
'Cause that's where their rack hangs.
896
00:44:37,218 --> 00:44:38,385
Daddy.
897
00:44:38,485 --> 00:44:40,621
I'm just kiddin'.
She got a nice rack.
898
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:42,456
Your mama used to have a nice rack.
899
00:44:42,556 --> 00:44:45,659
Now she bends over, just looks
like she's got a 7-10 split.
900
00:44:45,759 --> 00:44:48,195
- What the hell does that mean?
- It's a bowling term.
901
00:44:48,295 --> 00:44:50,498
- I don't like that, Daddy.
- I don't either.
902
00:44:50,598 --> 00:44:53,934
I'm just kiddin'. I still like to go to
the bowling alley every now and then.
903
00:44:54,034 --> 00:44:56,170
- You're sexy to me.
- Will you hush?
904
00:44:56,270 --> 00:44:58,973
I'm gonna start talking about
all your wrinkly, saggy parts.
905
00:44:59,073 --> 00:45:02,211
- It's like a turkey giblet in there.
- That was over the line.
906
00:45:03,711 --> 00:45:06,883
Well, honey, Conner,
who does she think you are?
907
00:45:07,481 --> 00:45:09,219
She thinks I'm the farm help.
908
00:45:10,150 --> 00:45:12,787
- Well, there's a switcheroo.
- The farm help.
909
00:45:12,887 --> 00:45:15,456
Do you think we should leave?
I think we should maybe leave.
910
00:45:15,556 --> 00:45:18,359
I ain't goin' nowhere.
Hell, I just drove up here.
911
00:45:18,459 --> 00:45:21,395
- I am tired. I want a beer.
- I don't want you guys to leave.
912
00:45:21,495 --> 00:45:23,939
Well, what should we do?
913
00:45:25,165 --> 00:45:27,201
Can you give me
some time to tell her?
914
00:45:27,301 --> 00:45:31,105
I mean, I have to break it to
her gently. She's been very sick.
915
00:45:31,205 --> 00:45:33,407
- Oh, no.
- I'm so sorry.
916
00:45:33,507 --> 00:45:35,910
- What's wrong?
- She has a weak heart.
917
00:45:36,010 --> 00:45:38,145
Then by all means, you just...
918
00:45:38,245 --> 00:45:40,481
take your time and tell
her when you're ready.
919
00:45:40,581 --> 00:45:42,416
- Thank you.
- Okay.
920
00:45:42,516 --> 00:45:45,219
We don't want her ticker
to tock out on you here.
921
00:45:45,319 --> 00:45:47,087
- We'll behave ourselves.
- Yeah.
922
00:45:47,187 --> 00:45:48,923
- You know what we'll be?
- What?
923
00:45:49,023 --> 00:45:51,525
- Parents of the help.
- That's right. Parents of the help.
924
00:45:51,625 --> 00:45:54,562
- "Can I get you something?"
- Let's head in.
925
00:45:54,662 --> 00:45:56,964
- Come on.
- Daddy, behave.
926
00:45:57,064 --> 00:45:59,867
I'll behave. Like a bull in a rodeo.
927
00:45:59,967 --> 00:46:02,670
- Did you paint this? This is fabulous.
- I started.
928
00:46:02,770 --> 00:46:04,672
- Still needs some work.
- Where you at?
929
00:46:04,772 --> 00:46:06,774
I bet this house run them
in the double figures.
930
00:46:06,874 --> 00:46:08,242
- Hey, Madea.
- Hey!
931
00:46:08,342 --> 00:46:10,344
- This is my mama, Kim.
- How you doin'?
932
00:46:10,444 --> 00:46:12,346
- Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Medium.
933
00:46:12,446 --> 00:46:14,281
And this is my daddy, Buddy.
934
00:46:14,381 --> 00:46:16,083
- Nice to meet you.
- How you doin', Buddy?
935
00:46:16,183 --> 00:46:18,552
- I'm doing well.
- I see y'all brought a bag.
936
00:46:18,652 --> 00:46:20,231
No, that's just my wife.
937
00:46:20,988 --> 00:46:24,358
Forgive my husband. He is
just a horse's ass and a half.
938
00:46:24,458 --> 00:46:27,361
- Wait. I smell cookin'.
- Yeah, that's Eileen.
939
00:46:27,461 --> 00:46:29,496
- Her mama was up in there cooking.
- Where is she?
940
00:46:29,596 --> 00:46:31,799
She was in the kitchen,
but she went to the backyard.
941
00:46:31,899 --> 00:46:33,734
Come on. Sit down. Take a load off.
942
00:46:33,834 --> 00:46:36,470
Take a load off. Y'all sit a spell.
943
00:46:36,570 --> 00:46:39,640
- Y'all want something to drink?
- I believe I'll have something.
944
00:46:39,740 --> 00:46:41,642
I like you. You're a nice lady.
945
00:46:41,742 --> 00:46:43,711
Don't be flirting with me
in front of your wife.
946
00:46:43,811 --> 00:46:46,585
If I put this thing on,
you won't be able to get rid of it.
947
00:46:47,514 --> 00:46:49,884
I'll have him pay my rent,
car note and everything else.
948
00:46:49,984 --> 00:46:51,654
I'm from the old school.
949
00:46:52,586 --> 00:46:54,388
Believe me, he can't help it.
950
00:46:54,488 --> 00:46:56,991
And if you can stand him,
you're welcome to him, right?
951
00:46:57,091 --> 00:46:59,360
- Hey, Conner, get me a beer.
- Yes, sir.
952
00:46:59,460 --> 00:47:00,928
Well, Miss Madea...
953
00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:03,998
looks like we're gonna be spending
Christmas dinner together this year...
954
00:47:04,098 --> 00:47:05,566
but don't you worry.
955
00:47:05,666 --> 00:47:07,837
We could care less you're black.
956
00:47:10,037 --> 00:47:12,072
"African-American," Buddy.
957
00:47:12,172 --> 00:47:15,075
Right, whatever. African-American.
958
00:47:15,175 --> 00:47:17,478
That's all right. I don't care
that y'all are white America...
959
00:47:17,578 --> 00:47:19,914
Angro... Angrola-Saxons...
Saxophonists.
960
00:47:20,014 --> 00:47:23,254
I don't care. That don't matter at
all that y'all Anglo-Saxophonists.
961
00:47:24,018 --> 00:47:25,519
I like her.
962
00:47:25,619 --> 00:47:28,055
She's got a good sense of humor
and those big, sturdy feet.
963
00:47:28,155 --> 00:47:31,392
You need a good sense of
humor with this group in here.
964
00:47:31,492 --> 00:47:33,961
- Here, Daddy, beer. Drink up.
- Appreciate it.
965
00:47:34,061 --> 00:47:37,231
- Please, drink up.
- I'll tell you what, Son.
966
00:47:37,331 --> 00:47:39,667
That last girl you with
was so dadgum ugly...
967
00:47:39,767 --> 00:47:41,869
my dog humped her leg
and shut his eyeballs.
968
00:47:41,969 --> 00:47:44,709
Oh, stop it. He's awful!
969
00:47:45,706 --> 00:47:49,576
"He shut his eyeballs." That's ugly.
970
00:47:49,676 --> 00:47:53,280
Please forgive my husband.
He is a wannabe comedian.
971
00:47:53,380 --> 00:47:54,848
You are no Jeff Foxworthy.
972
00:47:54,948 --> 00:47:57,484
Well, I try to be,
but who can? Who can?
973
00:47:57,584 --> 00:48:00,754
Did you hear the one about the
two rabbis and the black dude?
974
00:48:00,854 --> 00:48:02,589
- Daddy.
- No.
975
00:48:02,689 --> 00:48:05,159
Did you hear the one about the
stray bullet that killed the redneck...
976
00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:07,461
for telling the story about the
rabbis and the black dude?
977
00:48:07,561 --> 00:48:09,140
It's hilarious!
978
00:48:10,531 --> 00:48:12,800
I got him, didn't I? I got him.
979
00:48:12,900 --> 00:48:15,844
- Y'all get your ass shot.
- I like her. I do.
980
00:48:16,837 --> 00:48:19,042
I do too. She likes to hang.
981
00:48:20,641 --> 00:48:22,609
No, ain't gonna be no
hanging around here now.
982
00:48:22,709 --> 00:48:24,745
No, he didn't mean that.
He meant that...
983
00:48:24,845 --> 00:48:27,548
You calm the hell down?
You are so politically correct.
984
00:48:27,648 --> 00:48:29,450
They're having fun.
I'm having fun too.
985
00:48:29,550 --> 00:48:31,926
I wasn't offended.
Hell, I got a pistol.
986
00:48:32,853 --> 00:48:35,189
I knew she knew that.
Let me ask you this.
987
00:48:35,289 --> 00:48:36,757
Do you know Oprah?
988
00:48:36,857 --> 00:48:38,659
Honey, I told you...
989
00:48:38,759 --> 00:48:41,161
all black folk don't
necessarily know each other.
990
00:48:41,261 --> 00:48:46,300
- Could've fooled me.
- Do I look like Paul Bunyan or what?
991
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:50,414
Actually, you sure in the hell do.
And the Jolly Green Giant too. Ho-ho-ho.
992
00:48:51,071 --> 00:48:53,741
- Farmhand, please help me.
- His name is Conner.
993
00:48:53,841 --> 00:48:54,875
Whew!
994
00:48:54,975 --> 00:48:57,011
I think the tree...
995
00:48:57,111 --> 00:48:59,079
would look good right here.
996
00:48:59,179 --> 00:49:01,348
If you don't mind me butting in...
997
00:49:01,448 --> 00:49:04,785
I think it would look really
pretty right here by the window...
998
00:49:04,885 --> 00:49:07,554
and that way all the
passersby can enjoy it.
999
00:49:07,654 --> 00:49:10,224
That's where we had it every year.
1000
00:49:10,324 --> 00:49:12,793
- And who are you?
- That's a pretty tree.
1001
00:49:12,893 --> 00:49:15,062
I am... I'm Conner's mom.
1002
00:49:15,162 --> 00:49:18,641
That's Kim and that's Buddy.
These are Coroner's parents.
1003
00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:22,903
This is Eileen. I wanna scream.
I mean, Eileen.
1004
00:49:23,003 --> 00:49:27,975
Trees are for the family,
not for strangers.
1005
00:49:28,075 --> 00:49:30,077
What the hell these
people doing here?
1006
00:49:30,177 --> 00:49:33,258
Mama, they came to visit
Conner for Christmas.
1007
00:49:34,381 --> 00:49:39,353
Really? That is just
like my daughter.
1008
00:49:39,453 --> 00:49:41,055
I raised you right.
1009
00:49:41,155 --> 00:49:45,592
My daughter has always been
good with helping the help.
1010
00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:47,728
Yes.
1011
00:49:47,828 --> 00:49:50,531
- Where you staying?
- We're thinking of staying here.
1012
00:49:50,631 --> 00:49:53,267
Yeah. We drove all the
way up from Louisiana...
1013
00:49:53,367 --> 00:49:56,004
to spend Christmas
with Conner and Lacey.
1014
00:49:57,004 --> 00:49:59,914
It'll be a little cramped...
1015
00:50:00,674 --> 00:50:02,412
but we'll make do.
1016
00:50:04,311 --> 00:50:07,081
Madea and I will share a room.
1017
00:50:07,181 --> 00:50:09,383
You, Buddy and...
1018
00:50:09,483 --> 00:50:10,551
Kim.
1019
00:50:10,651 --> 00:50:12,920
Kim, take another room...
1020
00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:14,855
- and Carver...
- Conner.
1021
00:50:14,955 --> 00:50:16,256
- That's what I said.
- Conner.
1022
00:50:16,356 --> 00:50:18,868
Yes, Carver, you can take the sofa.
1023
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,329
Let me get some decorations.
1024
00:50:22,429 --> 00:50:24,932
Okay. I just...
1025
00:50:25,032 --> 00:50:28,402
So many memories just coming
back to me bein' here.
1026
00:50:28,502 --> 00:50:32,473
To tell you, Lacey, my mama,
she loved this place. She did.
1027
00:50:32,573 --> 00:50:35,542
I'm so happy you all came
back here to take care of it.
1028
00:50:35,642 --> 00:50:37,050
Welcome.
1029
00:50:37,978 --> 00:50:40,114
Well, my daughter's
paying the mortgage...
1030
00:50:40,214 --> 00:50:42,449
so I hope you bring
in a crop this year.
1031
00:50:42,549 --> 00:50:44,952
I told you not to buy this farm.
1032
00:50:45,052 --> 00:50:48,989
That dam up north caused a lot of
problems this year for the farmers.
1033
00:50:49,089 --> 00:50:52,693
But Conner, he's got him a new
strain of corn that takes less water.
1034
00:50:52,793 --> 00:50:54,428
Now, how's that work, Conner?
1035
00:50:54,528 --> 00:50:57,998
I studied agriculture
at New York State.
1036
00:50:58,098 --> 00:50:59,633
Is that where you two met?
1037
00:50:59,733 --> 00:51:01,368
Yeah. He's brilliant.
1038
00:51:01,468 --> 00:51:04,271
Gets it from his old man.
Runs in the genes.
1039
00:51:04,371 --> 00:51:07,641
At the science of it,
not so much the farming.
1040
00:51:07,741 --> 00:51:11,011
So genius, little Einstein,
little Stephen Hawkins.
1041
00:51:11,111 --> 00:51:14,114
We used to call him
"Smarty Britches" when he was little.
1042
00:51:14,214 --> 00:51:17,951
If you put some Viagra in that
tree's water, it'll stay up all year.
1043
00:51:18,051 --> 00:51:21,860
You better put some Viagra in your water.
See what happen with your tree.
1044
00:51:25,192 --> 00:51:28,529
- All right, let's decorate.
- No, thank you. I can manage.
1045
00:51:28,629 --> 00:51:31,431
I brought some decorations
from Atlanta...
1046
00:51:31,531 --> 00:51:33,867
and I work at one of the
finest department stores...
1047
00:51:33,967 --> 00:51:36,203
so I know a thing or two about taste.
1048
00:51:36,303 --> 00:51:37,882
Where...
1049
00:51:38,305 --> 00:51:40,274
Where did you get this tree?
1050
00:51:40,374 --> 00:51:42,509
I mean, you have a beautiful
Christmas tree...
1051
00:51:42,609 --> 00:51:46,122
right outside the kitchen
window and none in the house.
1052
00:51:48,315 --> 00:51:49,894
What's wrong?
1053
00:51:50,484 --> 00:51:52,553
Please don't tell me that's
your granddaddy's tree.
1054
00:51:52,653 --> 00:51:54,154
Oh, dear God.
1055
00:51:54,254 --> 00:51:57,324
Mama, was there a yellow ribbon
wrapped around that tree?
1056
00:51:57,424 --> 00:51:59,265
Yes, and I cut it off.
1057
00:52:00,761 --> 00:52:03,130
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1058
00:52:03,230 --> 00:52:04,934
What happened? What?
1059
00:52:05,932 --> 00:52:07,968
My mama planted that tree...
1060
00:52:08,068 --> 00:52:10,546
in memory of my granddaddy.
1061
00:52:14,641 --> 00:52:16,843
Well, how was I
supposed to know that?
1062
00:52:16,943 --> 00:52:18,679
This doesn't make any sense. Lacey.
1063
00:52:18,779 --> 00:52:22,716
Did these people come
when you bought this land?
1064
00:52:22,816 --> 00:52:26,693
This is your land now.
You can do what you want to with it.
1065
00:52:27,354 --> 00:52:29,089
Excuse me.
1066
00:52:29,189 --> 00:52:30,657
You don't look so good.
1067
00:52:30,757 --> 00:52:32,993
Feeling a little light-headed.
1068
00:52:33,093 --> 00:52:34,995
Well, sit down then. Sit down.
1069
00:52:35,095 --> 00:52:36,503
Okay.
1070
00:52:38,332 --> 00:52:41,068
It's all these strange people
in this house, that's what it is.
1071
00:52:41,168 --> 00:52:43,270
It ain't them people,
it's you! Hell, you!
1072
00:52:43,370 --> 00:52:46,440
You lost your damn mind.
You done lost your damn mind!
1073
00:52:46,540 --> 00:52:50,210
Anytime you see somebody with a
yellow ribbon on the tree, Eileen...
1074
00:52:50,310 --> 00:52:52,946
a yellow ribbon,
that means a memoriam.
1075
00:52:53,046 --> 00:52:54,248
Don't you know what that means?
1076
00:52:54,348 --> 00:52:56,717
Everybody in the USA knows
what a memoriam is...
1077
00:52:56,817 --> 00:52:58,819
when you see a yellow
ribbon on a damn tree.
1078
00:52:58,919 --> 00:53:00,487
You work on my nerves.
1079
00:53:00,587 --> 00:53:03,890
That poor woman is probably crying
'cause you cut down her daddy's tree.
1080
00:53:03,990 --> 00:53:05,959
What wrong with you,
cutting down her daddy's tree?
1081
00:53:06,059 --> 00:53:08,128
You know what's gonna happen?
I'm gonna make this plain.
1082
00:53:08,228 --> 00:53:10,130
You're gonna go to bed,
slip into a coma...
1083
00:53:10,230 --> 00:53:11,965
and everybody gonna wonder
what happened to you.
1084
00:53:12,065 --> 00:53:14,635
I did it. It's Christmas, damn it!
1085
00:53:14,735 --> 00:53:17,671
I don't know, Buddy.
I don't think I can deal with this.
1086
00:53:17,771 --> 00:53:20,107
I don't like it. It's wrong.
1087
00:53:20,207 --> 00:53:24,211
I can't pretend to be somebody.
I'm not an actress. I'm not Reba.
1088
00:53:24,311 --> 00:53:27,080
Maybe we should just leave.
Let's pack up and leave tomorrow.
1089
00:53:27,180 --> 00:53:29,082
No, we're not going back home.
We're staying here.
1090
00:53:29,182 --> 00:53:30,751
- It's Christmas.
- And that woman...
1091
00:53:30,851 --> 00:53:34,655
she cuts down my daddy's memory tree
and acts like she doesn't even care!
1092
00:53:34,755 --> 00:53:36,723
Honey, I know. It stinks. I get it.
1093
00:53:36,823 --> 00:53:38,792
You know what?
We'll get you another tree.
1094
00:53:38,892 --> 00:53:41,928
I want that tree. I want my
daddy's tree. What about our son?
1095
00:53:42,028 --> 00:53:44,598
Conner just stands there and doesn't
say anything back to this woman.
1096
00:53:44,698 --> 00:53:47,668
He's just pretending,
just saying nothin' to this woman.
1097
00:53:47,768 --> 00:53:51,538
Sweetheart, you know our kid.
He can't tell no to anybody.
1098
00:53:51,638 --> 00:53:53,106
Let him figure it out.
1099
00:53:53,206 --> 00:53:54,941
- You want some of this?
- No, not now.
1100
00:53:55,041 --> 00:53:58,178
- You know you want some of this.
- I don't. It's too much for me.
1101
00:53:58,278 --> 00:54:00,180
Remember that game we
played when we was kids?
1102
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,249
- Mystery Date?
- No, the Ghost and the Damsel.
1103
00:54:02,349 --> 00:54:04,318
- You remember that?
- Buddy Williams...
1104
00:54:04,418 --> 00:54:07,454
We are not playing... This is not the
time or the place. Don't you dare.
1105
00:54:07,554 --> 00:54:09,823
Go take a cold shower
and get off of me.
1106
00:54:09,923 --> 00:54:11,792
Go throw some milk on that thing.
1107
00:54:11,892 --> 00:54:14,472
I think I left my bag in...
1108
00:54:15,429 --> 00:54:17,509
one of my bags here.
1109
00:54:23,003 --> 00:54:24,938
- You think she noticed me?
- Yes!
1110
00:54:25,038 --> 00:54:27,675
- Yes!
- Oh, damn.
1111
00:54:30,477 --> 00:54:33,880
How to stop diabetes before it starts.
That's what AARP talking about.
1112
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:36,060
You got to read this,
this is pretty good.
1113
00:54:47,881 --> 00:54:49,483
- Hi.
- Hey.
1114
00:54:50,083 --> 00:54:51,821
Heard about the sponsorship?
1115
00:54:52,586 --> 00:54:54,555
Yeah, just found out about it.
1116
00:54:54,655 --> 00:54:57,124
- We got a problem.
- What's that?
1117
00:54:57,224 --> 00:54:59,463
Sponsor is Sheldon Construction.
1118
00:55:02,930 --> 00:55:05,666
Same Sheldon Construction that built
the dam that put us all out of business?
1119
00:55:05,766 --> 00:55:09,177
- That's the one.
- Hell no. You see?
1120
00:55:10,270 --> 00:55:11,849
Unbelievable.
1121
00:55:16,892 --> 00:55:18,361
Eileen, what you doin'?
1122
00:55:18,461 --> 00:55:19,962
I knew it.
1123
00:55:20,062 --> 00:55:22,231
He's in the Ku Klux Klan.
1124
00:55:22,331 --> 00:55:23,910
What?
1125
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:28,003
He was wearing the sheet
when I went in the room.
1126
00:55:28,103 --> 00:55:30,039
Them people are not
in no Ku Klux Klan.
1127
00:55:30,139 --> 00:55:31,907
I saw the Klan today.
That ain't the Klan.
1128
00:55:32,007 --> 00:55:35,511
- They probably trying to make up the bed.
- I know the Klan when I see it.
1129
00:55:35,611 --> 00:55:37,980
There you go, overreacting,
like you always do.
1130
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,558
- Yes, he is.
- Always jump to conclusions.
1131
00:55:41,317 --> 00:55:42,718
Stop jumping to conclusions.
1132
00:55:42,818 --> 00:55:45,228
No, baby. No.
1133
00:55:45,821 --> 00:55:47,289
I know what I saw.
1134
00:55:47,389 --> 00:55:49,425
Eileen, you gonna
get your pressure up.
1135
00:55:49,525 --> 00:55:54,063
I'm gonna sleep with
one eye open tonight.
1136
00:55:54,163 --> 00:55:58,401
Yes. Oh, Lord, my poor daughter,
she's so naive.
1137
00:55:58,501 --> 00:56:01,270
She don't know what's going on.
She don't have a clue.
1138
00:56:01,370 --> 00:56:04,173
You don't have a clue, talkin'
about sleeping with one eye open.
1139
00:56:04,273 --> 00:56:06,942
I hope it's not the lazy one,
'cause that one always look closed.
1140
00:56:07,042 --> 00:56:08,844
Them people are not in the Klan.
1141
00:56:08,944 --> 00:56:11,113
You put all of this stuff
in front of that door.
1142
00:56:11,213 --> 00:56:12,848
All that stuff in
front the damn door.
1143
00:56:12,948 --> 00:56:16,185
I go to the bathroom, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 10, 12 times a night...
1144
00:56:16,285 --> 00:56:18,187
and if I laugh too hard,
I squirt pee.
1145
00:56:18,287 --> 00:56:19,989
You got to move that stuff.
1146
00:56:20,089 --> 00:56:23,466
How can I go to the bathroom at
night with all that in front the door?
1147
00:56:26,295 --> 00:56:27,997
What this?
1148
00:56:28,097 --> 00:56:30,871
- I can't sit on this cup!
- Then stand up.
1149
00:57:09,805 --> 00:57:11,273
Conner, I'm sorry.
1150
00:57:11,373 --> 00:57:13,919
- Can I ask you something?
- What's that?
1151
00:57:16,011 --> 00:57:18,581
- Are you ashamed of me?
- No.
1152
00:57:18,681 --> 00:57:20,816
Then why won't you tell her?
1153
00:57:20,916 --> 00:57:24,987
I've never let my mother
down my entire life. Okay?
1154
00:57:25,087 --> 00:57:28,991
I've done everything
she wanted. Always.
1155
00:57:29,091 --> 00:57:32,035
And this is the first time I've
done something that I want.
1156
00:57:33,562 --> 00:57:35,631
Conner, it's gonna break her heart.
1157
00:57:35,731 --> 00:57:37,199
You gotta understand that.
1158
00:57:37,299 --> 00:57:39,802
You have to understand
how this makes me feel.
1159
00:57:39,902 --> 00:57:43,381
I love you. I'm proud of us.
I don't care who knows.
1160
00:57:47,543 --> 00:57:50,715
- Are you coming to bed?
- You mean the sofa, right?
1161
00:57:51,313 --> 00:57:53,716
You know the walls are thin.
1162
00:57:53,816 --> 00:57:56,021
My patience is getting
there with this.
1163
00:58:04,927 --> 00:58:07,863
And I told her, "You better
get the hell on out the way."
1164
00:58:07,963 --> 00:58:10,232
Lord, that was funny.
Your mama was something else.
1165
00:58:10,332 --> 00:58:12,070
Here you are, Miss Murphy.
1166
00:58:13,435 --> 00:58:15,638
Three little eggs.
1167
00:58:15,738 --> 00:58:17,545
Mama, it's fine.
1168
00:58:18,474 --> 00:58:20,175
Would you like some coffee, Conner?
1169
00:58:20,275 --> 00:58:23,322
No, I gotta tend to the animals.
1170
00:58:27,016 --> 00:58:29,351
I can give you a few
pointers if you want to.
1171
00:58:29,451 --> 00:58:31,353
- Yeah, that would be great.
- Okay, great.
1172
00:58:31,453 --> 00:58:33,533
All right. I'll be outside
if y'all need me.
1173
00:58:34,123 --> 00:58:36,759
What kind of farmhand
don't know about farmin'?
1174
00:58:36,859 --> 00:58:39,662
- He knows the science of it, Mama.
- No, I heard that last night.
1175
00:58:39,762 --> 00:58:42,097
Wait. Why are you
always defending him?
1176
00:58:42,197 --> 00:58:44,777
'Cause she like him.
1177
00:58:46,201 --> 00:58:48,938
Over my dead body will she end
up with somebody like that.
1178
00:58:49,038 --> 00:58:50,549
Somebody like what?
1179
00:58:51,340 --> 00:58:54,910
I don't wanna talk about it. We don't
make those kind of jokes, okay?
1180
00:58:55,010 --> 00:58:57,046
Hush up, Dragon Lady.
Hush the hell up.
1181
00:58:57,146 --> 00:59:00,516
If she like him, she like him.
That's all that is. Just hush.
1182
00:59:00,616 --> 00:59:02,418
Excuse me. Good morning, y'all.
1183
00:59:02,518 --> 00:59:05,921
This room brings back
so many memories.
1184
00:59:06,021 --> 00:59:07,890
Smells like farm.
1185
00:59:07,990 --> 00:59:09,458
Good morning, Miss Mandela.
1186
00:59:09,558 --> 00:59:11,535
Not Mandela, honey. Madea.
1187
00:59:12,461 --> 00:59:14,763
Madea, honey. Hi, sweetheart.
1188
00:59:14,863 --> 00:59:16,799
Mrs. Williams,
would you like some coffee?
1189
00:59:16,899 --> 00:59:20,135
- I'm gonna get it myself.
- Don't you have to go to school?
1190
00:59:20,235 --> 00:59:23,405
Actually, I do. I'm on my way.
I'll talk to you later.
1191
00:59:23,505 --> 00:59:25,107
Bye, Miss Mandela.
1192
00:59:25,808 --> 00:59:28,844
I had such a crazy,
crazy-ass dream last night.
1193
00:59:28,944 --> 00:59:30,946
- Really?
- Yeah. What are you cooking?
1194
00:59:31,046 --> 00:59:33,983
- Can I help? I'm good in the kitchen.
- No, I don't need your help.
1195
00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:35,059
Eileen!
1196
00:59:35,984 --> 00:59:38,155
What? I don't need her help.
1197
00:59:39,588 --> 00:59:43,058
I understand. I like to cook
alone myself sometimes too.
1198
00:59:43,158 --> 00:59:44,627
- Thank you.
- All right then.
1199
00:59:44,727 --> 00:59:45,862
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1200
00:59:46,462 --> 00:59:47,930
You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
1201
00:59:48,030 --> 00:59:49,999
That ain't being Christian,
being that mean to that woman.
1202
00:59:50,099 --> 00:59:52,736
I don't eat food from the KKK.
1203
00:59:53,335 --> 00:59:56,405
That woman ain't in no KKK.
Hush that foolishness. Hell.
1204
00:59:56,505 --> 00:59:58,774
- I love you, Son.
- Love you too.
1205
00:59:58,874 --> 01:00:00,476
Stay warm, okay?
1206
01:00:07,416 --> 01:00:10,497
- Stop babying him.
- You need to start babying him.
1207
01:00:11,420 --> 01:00:13,088
What's the matter with you?
1208
01:00:13,188 --> 01:00:15,791
You did not need to be so
mean to that woman yesterday.
1209
01:00:15,891 --> 01:00:18,093
She don't need to be
coming around here.
1210
01:00:18,193 --> 01:00:21,030
She seems nice. She just
wants the best for Bailey.
1211
01:00:21,130 --> 01:00:23,766
I know what's the best for Bailey,
and that's keeping this place running.
1212
01:00:23,866 --> 01:00:25,501
He can learn something in school.
1213
01:00:25,601 --> 01:00:28,037
Maybe become something
more than the two of us.
1214
01:00:28,137 --> 01:00:31,013
Yeah? Well, school is
gonna have to wait.
1215
01:00:32,574 --> 01:00:34,376
Gotta get these "poinsetters" sold.
1216
01:00:34,476 --> 01:00:37,813
Think I'm gonna go down to Harrisburg.
Try sell 'em over there.
1217
01:00:37,913 --> 01:00:40,749
If you would have talked to Lacey,
you would've found out...
1218
01:00:40,849 --> 01:00:43,986
that she has got sponsorship for
the Jubilee, so it is happening.
1219
01:00:44,086 --> 01:00:46,455
So you can sell your
poinsettias at the Jubilee.
1220
01:00:46,555 --> 01:00:48,760
- Who's the sponsor?
- I don't know.
1221
01:00:52,127 --> 01:00:54,196
Who does she think she is?
1222
01:00:54,296 --> 01:00:56,298
What you mad for, huh?
1223
01:00:56,398 --> 01:00:58,400
The Jubilee is happening.
1224
01:00:58,500 --> 01:01:01,537
We don't need her help.
She ain't from around here.
1225
01:01:01,637 --> 01:01:04,873
- Well, that's just plain dumb.
- You watch your back talk, Amber.
1226
01:01:04,973 --> 01:01:07,349
And you watch your
front talk, Tanner.
1227
01:01:12,681 --> 01:01:14,283
- Hi.
- Hey.
1228
01:01:14,883 --> 01:01:16,621
Heard about the sponsorship?
1229
01:01:17,386 --> 01:01:19,355
Yeah, just found out about it.
1230
01:01:19,455 --> 01:01:21,924
- We got a problem.
- What's that?
1231
01:01:22,024 --> 01:01:24,263
Sponsor is Sheldon Construction.
1232
01:01:27,730 --> 01:01:30,466
Same Sheldon Construction that built
the dam that put us all out of business?
1233
01:01:30,566 --> 01:01:33,977
- That's the one.
- Hell no. You see?
1234
01:01:35,070 --> 01:01:36,649
Unbelievable.
1235
01:01:39,353 --> 01:01:41,856
There is no such thing
as "just a farm boy."
1236
01:01:41,956 --> 01:01:45,265
You are smart. You can
be anything you want.
1237
01:01:46,694 --> 01:01:49,931
I can only imagine if you could
just stay awake in class.
1238
01:01:50,031 --> 01:01:52,667
- Are you up late at night?
- No, ma'am.
1239
01:01:52,767 --> 01:01:56,405
I want you to sing the lead
solo at the Christmas Jubilee.
1240
01:01:57,371 --> 01:01:59,273
I'm sorry. I can't do that.
1241
01:01:59,373 --> 01:02:01,783
- Yes, you can.
- No.
1242
01:02:03,544 --> 01:02:05,851
You know what? I really
gotta go, Miss Williams.
1243
01:02:07,415 --> 01:02:09,791
My daddy's gonna be
waiting for me at home.
1244
01:02:12,643 --> 01:02:15,349
Child, these nipples so tough,
you need a mammogram.
1245
01:02:15,846 --> 01:02:17,983
Don't look at me like that.
1246
01:02:18,582 --> 01:02:20,684
- But you giving milk.
- Well, hello.
1247
01:02:21,485 --> 01:02:23,064
Hey there.
1248
01:02:24,288 --> 01:02:26,790
- How are ya?
- Thems pigs was starving to death.
1249
01:02:26,890 --> 01:02:29,593
I slopped them, and I've been
trying to get milk for Eileen.
1250
01:02:29,693 --> 01:02:32,129
- She's in there trying to cook something.
- Look, he's trying.
1251
01:02:32,229 --> 01:02:35,332
- We sure do appreciate you helpin'.
- No. That's fine.
1252
01:02:35,432 --> 01:02:38,469
I'll show him how to do it when he
come out of that laboratory thing.
1253
01:02:38,569 --> 01:02:41,104
Look like he growing marijuana.
He ain't growing marijuana, is he?
1254
01:02:41,204 --> 01:02:44,074
No, he ain't doing that.
Look, he's a smart kid, you know.
1255
01:02:44,174 --> 01:02:46,481
He just, well...
1256
01:02:47,744 --> 01:02:49,646
- What?
- I'm a truck driver.
1257
01:02:49,746 --> 01:02:52,216
I'm out on the road a lot,
you know, and...
1258
01:02:52,316 --> 01:02:55,486
he always stayed with his mom
and his grandparents here.
1259
01:02:55,586 --> 01:02:58,655
I tell you what, it broke my
heart to be gone so much...
1260
01:02:58,755 --> 01:03:02,860
but I just kind of feel a little
guilty about the way he turned out.
1261
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,429
- How he turn out?
- Kind of passive, I guess.
1262
01:03:05,529 --> 01:03:07,731
Kind of lets people
walk all over him.
1263
01:03:07,831 --> 01:03:11,935
I mean, he used to get beat
up a lot in school, bullied.
1264
01:03:12,035 --> 01:03:13,704
- Oh, he's soft.
- He's soft.
1265
01:03:13,804 --> 01:03:16,340
This kid, Tanner, used to
beat him up all the time.
1266
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:18,342
And he still lives here, that Tanner.
1267
01:03:18,442 --> 01:03:21,044
When a person gets tired of a bully,
they handle it, you understand?
1268
01:03:21,144 --> 01:03:24,581
You shut it down and you realize that
you ain't gonna deal with it no more.
1269
01:03:24,681 --> 01:03:27,284
- Boy, that's the truth.
- Gotta wait for that.
1270
01:03:27,384 --> 01:03:29,720
Hey, we were just talking about you.
1271
01:03:29,820 --> 01:03:31,288
- Yeah?
- It was all good stuff.
1272
01:03:31,388 --> 01:03:33,357
- All good stuff.
- Good.
1273
01:03:33,457 --> 01:03:36,094
That one, she just will
not let you milk her.
1274
01:03:37,461 --> 01:03:39,666
- The black-and-white one?
- Yep.
1275
01:03:41,798 --> 01:03:45,402
There's a reason why you couldn't get
milk from the black-and-white one, son.
1276
01:03:47,437 --> 01:03:50,074
If somebody pull on your testicles,
will you give 'em milk?
1277
01:03:51,241 --> 01:03:52,342
Don't answer that.
1278
01:03:52,442 --> 01:03:55,145
That's a bull.
You can't milk no bull.
1279
01:03:55,245 --> 01:03:57,325
You serious, trying to milk a bull?
1280
01:03:58,448 --> 01:03:59,618
Blessed.
1281
01:04:00,784 --> 01:04:03,320
Son, you got to slop them
pigs early in the morning.
1282
01:04:03,420 --> 01:04:06,823
Then you gotta milk these cows
'cause they nipples is tough.
1283
01:04:06,923 --> 01:04:09,526
And you can't be gentle.
You got to pull them nipples.
1284
01:04:09,626 --> 01:04:11,695
You got to pull them things.
Pull 'em hard.
1285
01:04:11,795 --> 01:04:14,231
Pull 'em. Pull 'em. Pull 'em.
1286
01:04:14,331 --> 01:04:18,709
You're used to that. Hell, his mama
breast-fed him until he was in ninth grade.
1287
01:04:19,703 --> 01:04:23,250
Shut your mouth! Ninth grade?
Her nipples ought to have corrosion.
1288
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,209
Yeah. That's right.
You ought to see them things.
1289
01:04:26,309 --> 01:04:28,478
They look like cake decorator bags.
1290
01:04:28,578 --> 01:04:31,448
Dad, stop it. Come on.
1291
01:04:31,548 --> 01:04:35,152
Y'all, sometimes I just think
I'm not cut out for this.
1292
01:04:35,252 --> 01:04:38,663
Well, hey, it's just a nipple!
1293
01:04:39,256 --> 01:04:41,158
Daddy, I'm talking about farming.
1294
01:04:41,258 --> 01:04:43,060
Well, hey, farming's hard, Son.
1295
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,069
Yes, farming's hard.
You know what else is hard?
1296
01:04:45,729 --> 01:04:47,030
Keeping up a lie...
1297
01:04:47,130 --> 01:04:49,766
'cause the longer you let it live,
the harder it is to kill.
1298
01:04:49,866 --> 01:04:51,668
- Ain't that right?
- You got that right.
1299
01:04:51,768 --> 01:04:53,604
You're a smart woman.
1300
01:04:53,704 --> 01:04:56,607
- What are you talkin' about?
- What am I talkin' about?
1301
01:04:56,707 --> 01:04:58,508
I'm talking about you and Lacey.
1302
01:04:58,608 --> 01:05:00,744
You wanna tell Eileen, or you
want me to tell her y'all together?
1303
01:05:00,844 --> 01:05:02,981
- Daddy!
- Hey, I didn't say nothin'.
1304
01:05:03,580 --> 01:05:05,248
- Who told you?
- You just did.
1305
01:05:05,348 --> 01:05:07,384
Whole body language. Tensed up.
1306
01:05:07,484 --> 01:05:09,886
When I walked in the house
the other day, I saw them shoes.
1307
01:05:09,986 --> 01:05:12,322
I see the way you look at her,
the way she look at you.
1308
01:05:12,422 --> 01:05:14,958
- Y'all need to say something.
- It's not me. I wanna tell her.
1309
01:05:15,058 --> 01:05:17,961
It's Lacey. She says she doesn't
think she can handle it.
1310
01:05:18,061 --> 01:05:20,297
We just need a defibrillator.
She gonna have a heart attack.
1311
01:05:20,397 --> 01:05:22,032
She gonna clutch the pearls and die.
1312
01:05:22,132 --> 01:05:24,201
But we'll get a defibrillator.
She'll be all right.
1313
01:05:24,301 --> 01:05:26,381
But it's all right.
Y'all just dating.
1314
01:05:27,204 --> 01:05:28,339
Dating?
1315
01:05:29,973 --> 01:05:31,552
They're married.
1316
01:05:32,075 --> 01:05:33,586
Oh, she dead.
1317
01:05:34,344 --> 01:05:35,752
Flatline. Just...
1318
01:05:37,380 --> 01:05:39,983
Dead. Lord have mercy,
that's going to kill her.
1319
01:05:40,083 --> 01:05:42,419
Lacey said she's gonna
tell her on Christmas.
1320
01:05:42,519 --> 01:05:44,421
She fixin' to kill her
mama on Christmas Day?
1321
01:05:44,521 --> 01:05:47,124
- What kind of Christmas present is that?
- Oh, damn.
1322
01:05:48,058 --> 01:05:50,027
Y'all better have some
nitroglycerin or something.
1323
01:05:50,127 --> 01:05:52,095
That's a damn shame.
Gonna kill that woman on...
1324
01:05:52,195 --> 01:05:54,275
Hell, I'm stuck in the mud.
1325
01:05:56,867 --> 01:05:58,168
Hell, this ain't mud!
1326
01:05:58,268 --> 01:06:00,814
- You all right?
- I done fell in bull...
1327
01:06:04,908 --> 01:06:07,579
Keep going. Help each other out.
1328
01:06:09,012 --> 01:06:11,415
- Hi. What's going on?
- It's bad.
1329
01:06:11,515 --> 01:06:13,316
Oliver called and told the mayor...
1330
01:06:13,416 --> 01:06:17,421
that we couldn't have any references
to the nativity or Jesus.
1331
01:06:17,521 --> 01:06:20,257
- What?
- The sponsors don't want it.
1332
01:06:20,357 --> 01:06:22,959
No. No, something
is wrong. I'll call him.
1333
01:06:23,059 --> 01:06:25,139
Well, the mayor wants to see you now.
1334
01:06:26,263 --> 01:06:28,172
- Come on.
- Okay.
1335
01:06:29,332 --> 01:06:31,070
Who does he think he is?
1336
01:06:32,769 --> 01:06:34,538
All right! That's enough!
1337
01:06:34,638 --> 01:06:36,807
That's enough!
1338
01:06:36,907 --> 01:06:38,642
One at a time!
1339
01:06:38,742 --> 01:06:40,377
I'm very upset.
1340
01:06:40,477 --> 01:06:42,879
She is trying to take
Christ out of Christmas.
1341
01:06:42,979 --> 01:06:45,716
Next thing you know they'll
wanna take prayer out of church!
1342
01:06:45,816 --> 01:06:47,784
You see what happened when
they took prayer out of schools.
1343
01:06:47,884 --> 01:06:48,852
We did.
1344
01:06:48,952 --> 01:06:51,221
Wilbur, what does it say?
1345
01:06:51,321 --> 01:06:54,858
Well, the contract says...
no nativity.
1346
01:06:54,958 --> 01:06:57,494
No Jesus reference whatsoever.
1347
01:06:57,594 --> 01:06:59,996
Not even a little drummer boy.
1348
01:07:00,096 --> 01:07:01,565
Unbelievable.
1349
01:07:01,665 --> 01:07:03,667
Why didn't it say that the
first time you read it?
1350
01:07:03,767 --> 01:07:05,936
Well, it was in the small print.
1351
01:07:06,036 --> 01:07:08,004
I didn't have my glasses on.
1352
01:07:08,104 --> 01:07:10,540
I didn't have my glasses on!
I couldn't see!
1353
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,375
- This is awful!
- Wait.
1354
01:07:12,475 --> 01:07:14,555
This has got to be a mistake.
1355
01:07:15,178 --> 01:07:17,280
Let me call Oliver. How about that?
1356
01:07:17,380 --> 01:07:19,683
All righty. You go right ahead.
1357
01:07:19,783 --> 01:07:21,918
I've already talked to him
about this, but have at it.
1358
01:07:22,018 --> 01:07:23,426
Okay.
1359
01:07:24,354 --> 01:07:26,365
- Put it on speaker.
- Yeah.
1360
01:07:26,857 --> 01:07:28,436
Okay.
1361
01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:38,702
Hello?
1362
01:07:38,802 --> 01:07:42,105
- Hi Oliver.
- Hey. Guess you talked to the mayor.
1363
01:07:42,205 --> 01:07:45,275
Yes, we are all here on speakerphone.
1364
01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:47,577
Yeah, I don't see
what the big deal is.
1365
01:07:47,677 --> 01:07:50,480
They want it to be called Holiday
Jubilee instead of Christmas.
1366
01:07:50,580 --> 01:07:52,783
Yeah, and they don't need
references to religious figures.
1367
01:07:52,883 --> 01:07:55,786
How do we talk about Christmas
without talking about Jesus?
1368
01:07:55,886 --> 01:07:58,121
- Yeah, how do we?
- It happens all the time,
1369
01:07:58,221 --> 01:08:00,190
Santa Claus is okay.
1370
01:08:00,290 --> 01:08:02,961
Make it about Santa Claus and
not about the birth of Christ.
1371
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:08,231
And the songs for the Jubilee should
be about everything but Christ.
1372
01:08:08,331 --> 01:08:11,501
Sing songs like Here Comes
Santa Claus, White Christmas.
1373
01:08:11,601 --> 01:08:13,036
White Christmas.
1374
01:08:13,136 --> 01:08:16,039
There ain't nothing white about
a Bucktussle, Alabama Christmas!
1375
01:08:16,139 --> 01:08:17,874
- It don't snow here!
- That's right.
1376
01:08:17,974 --> 01:08:21,044
Okay, Oliver, we did not
sign up for this. Okay?
1377
01:08:21,144 --> 01:08:22,612
Yes, you did.
1378
01:08:22,712 --> 01:08:24,917
I am a Christian,
and this is some bull...
1379
01:08:28,518 --> 01:08:30,787
The heads of the company are
coming down on a private jet...
1380
01:08:30,887 --> 01:08:32,022
A private jet.
1381
01:08:32,122 --> 01:08:33,857
To be filmed with the
school at the Jubilee,
1382
01:08:33,957 --> 01:08:35,992
I did you a favor here,
and this will ruin me.
1383
01:08:36,092 --> 01:08:37,994
You can't do this to me now.
1384
01:08:38,094 --> 01:08:42,165
I can't just turn them around.
You have to figure this one out.
1385
01:08:42,265 --> 01:08:44,668
- You hold on there, son.
- That's right. You get it straight.
1386
01:08:44,768 --> 01:08:47,671
With all due respect, Mr. Mayor,
you got the money and we have a deal.
1387
01:08:47,771 --> 01:08:49,739
- Give him his money back.
- Yeah.
1388
01:08:49,839 --> 01:08:51,308
- We spent it.
- Yeah.
1389
01:08:51,408 --> 01:08:53,043
- On what?
- The Jubilee!
1390
01:08:53,143 --> 01:08:56,713
And much-needed school supplies.
And catching up on school bills.
1391
01:08:56,813 --> 01:08:59,616
Listen, I'm sorry, but we're coming.
1392
01:08:59,716 --> 01:09:02,052
This is my career
you're talking about.
1393
01:09:02,152 --> 01:09:03,731
I'll see you tomorrow.
1394
01:09:04,321 --> 01:09:06,456
Move, move. Now, watch out.
1395
01:09:06,556 --> 01:09:10,594
Well, now this is a fine
mess you've gotten us into.
1396
01:09:10,694 --> 01:09:12,162
She should be fired.
1397
01:09:12,262 --> 01:09:14,531
- Now hold on a second.
- Mr. Mayor...
1398
01:09:14,631 --> 01:09:16,099
have you heard?
1399
01:09:16,199 --> 01:09:18,168
We were talking about the
changes they want made.
1400
01:09:18,268 --> 01:09:21,975
That's not what I was talking about.
I was talking about the sponsor.
1401
01:09:22,772 --> 01:09:24,674
- Sheldon Construction.
- What?
1402
01:09:24,774 --> 01:09:26,243
That's right.
1403
01:09:26,343 --> 01:09:27,811
The same folks...
1404
01:09:27,911 --> 01:09:31,147
that built a dam to save Jasper
and left us without a river.
1405
01:09:31,247 --> 01:09:33,250
She brought this mess here
and she should be fired.
1406
01:09:33,350 --> 01:09:35,151
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring...
1407
01:09:35,251 --> 01:09:38,922
We don't care what the
hell you meant. Do we?
1408
01:09:39,022 --> 01:09:40,523
- No.
- I didn't think so.
1409
01:09:40,623 --> 01:09:42,659
You brought an awful situation here.
1410
01:09:42,759 --> 01:09:44,861
Get out of here and let us handle it.
1411
01:09:44,961 --> 01:09:47,264
- Go back to wherever you come from.
- Now hold on.
1412
01:09:47,364 --> 01:09:49,171
You do not have to
talk to her like that.
1413
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,412
Mr. Mayor.
1414
01:09:52,335 --> 01:09:54,604
You fire her. Right now.
1415
01:09:54,704 --> 01:09:56,545
Do it.
1416
01:09:58,008 --> 01:10:01,646
- Lacey, I'm sorry.
- There we go.
1417
01:10:03,646 --> 01:10:05,225
I understand.
1418
01:10:08,651 --> 01:10:11,021
You believe that? Sheldon.
1419
01:10:11,121 --> 01:10:13,030
This is a hell of a mess.
1420
01:10:23,266 --> 01:10:25,403
You all do your homework, okay?
1421
01:10:26,903 --> 01:10:30,177
And... be good for your new teacher.
1422
01:10:32,242 --> 01:10:33,821
Where are you going?
1423
01:10:36,246 --> 01:10:37,984
I made a mistake...
1424
01:10:39,115 --> 01:10:40,917
and now I have to leave.
1425
01:10:41,017 --> 01:10:44,894
No. I'll sing. I'll do the solo.
1426
01:10:45,555 --> 01:10:49,059
I don't think there's gonna be
a Christmas Jubilee this year.
1427
01:10:49,159 --> 01:10:51,161
I don't want you to go.
1428
01:10:51,261 --> 01:10:53,563
Bailey, you are so special.
1429
01:10:53,663 --> 01:10:56,141
You always remember that.
1430
01:10:57,901 --> 01:11:00,337
- Okay?
- Yes, ma'am.
1431
01:11:00,437 --> 01:11:02,016
You all are.
1432
01:11:04,307 --> 01:11:05,886
I'll see you.
1433
01:11:07,410 --> 01:11:10,047
- I'm so sorry.
- It's fine.
1434
01:11:14,584 --> 01:11:16,254
Good job, boys.
1435
01:11:24,094 --> 01:11:26,062
I just got done telling Madea...
1436
01:11:26,162 --> 01:11:29,299
that you was in here all alone
with Eileen, and she said that...
1437
01:11:29,399 --> 01:11:32,446
I said you was in here with
the beast of the southern wild.
1438
01:11:34,003 --> 01:11:36,206
I tried. That woman is stubborn.
1439
01:11:36,306 --> 01:11:38,875
I tried. I asked her if
I could help her cook.
1440
01:11:38,975 --> 01:11:40,443
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
1441
01:11:40,543 --> 01:11:42,445
Yeah, I know. She's difficult.
1442
01:11:42,545 --> 01:11:44,514
It's all right. She got a problem,
but it's all right.
1443
01:11:44,614 --> 01:11:46,783
- Y'all want some lemonade?
- No, I'm good.
1444
01:11:46,883 --> 01:11:48,518
- I'm good. Thank you.
- There you are.
1445
01:11:48,618 --> 01:11:51,021
I've been worried about you.
1446
01:11:51,121 --> 01:11:54,090
You were out there
with them for a while.
1447
01:11:54,190 --> 01:11:56,159
Yeah. I was conflicted.
1448
01:11:56,259 --> 01:12:00,897
I didn't know if I should look
for you or watch the food.
1449
01:12:00,997 --> 01:12:03,600
I didn't let her near our food.
1450
01:12:04,534 --> 01:12:08,571
You whisper like a damn bullhorn.
That woman ain't gonna hurt us.
1451
01:12:08,671 --> 01:12:10,640
We don't know that, do we?
1452
01:12:10,740 --> 01:12:12,375
What y'all talking about over there?
1453
01:12:12,475 --> 01:12:14,782
She just thinks y'all
are tryin' to kill us.
1454
01:12:16,279 --> 01:12:17,781
- Tryin' to kill you?
- Good heavens!
1455
01:12:17,881 --> 01:12:20,350
- You're nuts!
- I've never hurt a flea or a fly.
1456
01:12:20,450 --> 01:12:22,419
I've seen her shoot
a deer once though.
1457
01:12:22,519 --> 01:12:25,822
I never. I would never shoot little
Bambi sipping water in a pond.
1458
01:12:25,922 --> 01:12:28,858
I'm just gonna ask y'all.
I'm gonna put it out on the table.
1459
01:12:28,958 --> 01:12:30,326
- Be honest.
- What is it?
1460
01:12:30,426 --> 01:12:32,164
Y'all in the Ku Klux Klan?
1461
01:12:32,962 --> 01:12:34,931
- That's what she wanna know.
- Get outta here!
1462
01:12:35,031 --> 01:12:37,000
Heavens no. Why would she...
1463
01:12:37,100 --> 01:12:39,869
- Buddy, the other night with the sheet.
- Oh, with the sheet!
1464
01:12:39,969 --> 01:12:41,471
Yes! Explain that.
1465
01:12:41,571 --> 01:12:43,540
We used to play this game, all right?
1466
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:45,542
Buddy and I, when we
were young, he would...
1467
01:12:45,642 --> 01:12:48,278
It was called the
Ghost and the Damsel.
1468
01:12:48,378 --> 01:12:50,346
And he would blindfold me.
1469
01:12:50,446 --> 01:12:52,916
Then he'd put a sheet
above himself...
1470
01:12:53,016 --> 01:12:55,051
and then I would have
to search about...
1471
01:12:55,151 --> 01:12:57,187
and capture the rapture,
if you know what I mean.
1472
01:12:57,287 --> 01:12:58,855
Mama!
1473
01:12:58,955 --> 01:13:00,457
I am sorry, Conner.
1474
01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:02,826
- That's just nasty.
- Sorry, Son.
1475
01:13:02,926 --> 01:13:05,061
- But I like it.
- I know.
1476
01:13:05,161 --> 01:13:07,530
It can be fun. It can be.
1477
01:13:07,630 --> 01:13:10,467
That is so inappropriate.
1478
01:13:10,567 --> 01:13:14,137
You two need to learn how to
respect my daughter's house.
1479
01:13:15,004 --> 01:13:17,774
- Eileen, you might wanna let that go.
- No.
1480
01:13:17,874 --> 01:13:19,943
They come in here taking
advantage of her...
1481
01:13:20,043 --> 01:13:23,446
eating her food, and they're
acting like they own the place.
1482
01:13:23,546 --> 01:13:25,715
- I don't like it.
- You need to let that go.
1483
01:13:25,815 --> 01:13:28,418
Well, I don't like...
1484
01:13:28,518 --> 01:13:30,687
- Mama...
- that you...
1485
01:13:30,787 --> 01:13:32,255
Mama, sit down.
1486
01:13:32,355 --> 01:13:34,891
You cut down my family's memory tree.
1487
01:13:34,991 --> 01:13:36,960
That's what I don't like.
1488
01:13:37,060 --> 01:13:38,561
Excuse me?
1489
01:13:38,661 --> 01:13:41,664
I can deal with a lot of things.
They know it.
1490
01:13:41,764 --> 01:13:44,200
But this is downright wrong...
1491
01:13:44,300 --> 01:13:47,244
and now I am getting very upset!
1492
01:13:48,004 --> 01:13:51,241
Why would you plant his memory
tree on my daughter's land...
1493
01:13:51,341 --> 01:13:53,309
and how was I supposed to know that?
1494
01:13:53,409 --> 01:13:55,378
Oh, I don't know.
1495
01:13:55,478 --> 01:13:58,481
Maybe because it had a
yellow ribbon around it?
1496
01:13:58,581 --> 01:14:00,183
That doesn't mean anything.
1497
01:14:00,283 --> 01:14:03,720
In most countries, in most places,
to sane-thinking people...
1498
01:14:03,820 --> 01:14:06,489
a yellow ribbon means something.
1499
01:14:06,589 --> 01:14:10,560
Now you just calm down, missy. Okay?
1500
01:14:10,660 --> 01:14:14,664
Now, Lacey, are you gonna
let her talk to me like this?
1501
01:14:14,764 --> 01:14:16,666
- Mama, calm down.
- Put your finger down...
1502
01:14:16,766 --> 01:14:19,005
or I will cut it off and deep-fry it!
1503
01:14:20,303 --> 01:14:22,839
You need to leave my
daughter's house.
1504
01:14:22,939 --> 01:14:24,807
- Mama, stop it! Stop!
- No!
1505
01:14:24,907 --> 01:14:26,776
Eileen, you need to
stop right now, honey.
1506
01:14:26,876 --> 01:14:29,712
What are they doing here anyway?
Tomorrow is Christmas!
1507
01:14:29,812 --> 01:14:31,347
They are not your family!
1508
01:14:31,447 --> 01:14:33,683
- Let's get out of here.
- No, hold up.
1509
01:14:33,783 --> 01:14:36,085
Come on back here.
Ain't nobody going nowhere.
1510
01:14:36,185 --> 01:14:38,821
- Now, Madea...
- Ain't nobody goin' no damn where.
1511
01:14:38,921 --> 01:14:40,890
Madea, whose side are you on?
1512
01:14:40,990 --> 01:14:43,359
- Let 'em leave.
- No, I'm on the side of right.
1513
01:14:43,459 --> 01:14:45,562
- That's the side I'm on. Lacey?
- Yes.
1514
01:14:45,662 --> 01:14:48,665
- Tell your mama.
- What? Tell me what?
1515
01:14:48,765 --> 01:14:52,005
Spit it out before I punch you,
put your teeth down your throat!
1516
01:14:54,537 --> 01:14:57,481
Mama... Conner and I are married.
1517
01:15:01,577 --> 01:15:03,987
- Catch her.
- Get the defibrillator.
1518
01:15:09,185 --> 01:15:11,731
Lacey. Your father.
1519
01:15:12,689 --> 01:15:15,692
I know, Mama. I know he was
murdered by a white man, but...
1520
01:15:15,792 --> 01:15:17,293
- What happened?
- What?
1521
01:15:17,393 --> 01:15:20,663
My father was killed by a
white man on Christmas Eve...
1522
01:15:20,763 --> 01:15:22,565
trying to protect my mother's honor.
1523
01:15:22,665 --> 01:15:24,667
- That's awful.
- Good Lord.
1524
01:15:24,767 --> 01:15:27,770
- Who told you that?
- Mama.
1525
01:15:27,870 --> 01:15:31,040
Eileen, you oughta be ashamed...
Child, that's some straight-up bull...
1526
01:15:31,140 --> 01:15:32,548
Madea!
1527
01:15:33,142 --> 01:15:35,722
Your daddy wasn't
killed by no white man.
1528
01:15:36,312 --> 01:15:38,681
He left your mama for a white
woman when you was two...
1529
01:15:38,781 --> 01:15:41,117
and your mama has been bitter
with white people ever since.
1530
01:15:41,217 --> 01:15:42,685
- What?
- Yes, years ago.
1531
01:15:42,785 --> 01:15:47,090
Ran off and joined the circus.
And now they on Glee,
1532
01:15:47,190 --> 01:15:48,658
Good show.
1533
01:15:48,758 --> 01:15:51,600
Glee? Mama, is this true?
1534
01:15:52,528 --> 01:15:54,197
Mama!
1535
01:15:54,297 --> 01:15:59,936
Lacey, I am so disappointed in you.
1536
01:16:00,036 --> 01:16:02,412
Look at her trying to
turn it around on you.
1537
01:16:03,406 --> 01:16:04,985
Girl, please.
1538
01:16:09,746 --> 01:16:11,553
You're disappointed in me?
1539
01:16:12,315 --> 01:16:14,550
Well, that went well.
1540
01:16:14,650 --> 01:16:16,957
At least she didn't have
another heart attack.
1541
01:16:18,588 --> 01:16:20,657
- Another one?
- Yeah, Madea.
1542
01:16:20,757 --> 01:16:23,660
Didn't you know that my mother
had a heart attack last year?
1543
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:25,895
Your mama lied to you. She had gas.
1544
01:16:25,995 --> 01:16:28,831
Got to the doctor, she was clutching
her heart and the pearls.
1545
01:16:28,931 --> 01:16:31,234
Got there, doctor say it's gas.
1546
01:16:31,334 --> 01:16:34,837
- Wait, what?
- They put one of them rods up there.
1547
01:16:34,937 --> 01:16:37,807
Came flowing out like the River Jordan
and that was it. It was all over.
1548
01:16:37,907 --> 01:16:39,375
I had that once too.
1549
01:16:39,475 --> 01:16:41,978
Put it in there, come out sounding
like brakes coming out of...
1550
01:16:42,078 --> 01:16:44,488
The air pressure coming
out of one of them big rigs.
1551
01:16:45,515 --> 01:16:47,750
There it is. Then they tell
her she had heartburn.
1552
01:16:47,850 --> 01:16:50,586
- She didn't have no heart attack.
- She had heartburn?
1553
01:16:50,686 --> 01:16:53,323
She needs some of that Prilosec OTC.
1554
01:16:54,757 --> 01:16:57,427
She been manipulating you.
She as healthy as an ox.
1555
01:16:57,527 --> 01:16:59,629
Well, that woman's a
pretty pissed off ox.
1556
01:17:00,530 --> 01:17:02,109
Don't get behind her.
1557
01:17:03,499 --> 01:17:06,502
Don't light a match. Don't get
her next to an open flame.
1558
01:17:06,602 --> 01:17:08,071
We'll all have burnt heads.
1559
01:17:08,171 --> 01:17:10,842
Yeah, her farts can spell
her name, they so bad.
1560
01:17:13,543 --> 01:17:17,181
- Mama, he got her fired.
- That's all right. I'm upset too.
1561
01:17:17,780 --> 01:17:20,451
We should go, boy. We got work to do.
1562
01:17:23,386 --> 01:17:25,588
Why'd you do that to Mrs. Williams?
1563
01:17:25,688 --> 01:17:28,658
You know, she's a nice lady.
Why'd you get her fired?
1564
01:17:28,758 --> 01:17:30,793
You don't know what's
going on here, Bailey.
1565
01:17:30,893 --> 01:17:33,396
I know you don't like people
'cause of the way they look.
1566
01:17:33,496 --> 01:17:36,440
That ain't right! That's what
kids do to me at school!
1567
01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:41,009
It ain't fair. She's nice to me.
1568
01:17:42,371 --> 01:17:44,207
Don't you ever...
1569
01:17:44,307 --> 01:17:46,275
talk to me like that again.
1570
01:17:46,375 --> 01:17:48,144
You hear me?
1571
01:17:48,244 --> 01:17:50,324
Get out on that plow.
1572
01:17:55,952 --> 01:17:57,920
He is right, and you know it.
1573
01:17:58,020 --> 01:17:59,922
She made a deal with the devil.
1574
01:18:00,022 --> 01:18:02,859
No, you're actin' more like
the devil than she is.
1575
01:18:02,959 --> 01:18:05,039
And this is Christmas, Tanner.
1576
01:18:16,339 --> 01:18:19,742
This child still sitting out there.
That's just crazy as hell.
1577
01:18:19,842 --> 01:18:21,310
Where y'all going?
1578
01:18:21,410 --> 01:18:23,179
Well, Miss Media,
we're gonna bring her...
1579
01:18:23,279 --> 01:18:24,747
My name is Madea, honey.
1580
01:18:24,847 --> 01:18:26,315
- Madea.
- Thank you.
1581
01:18:26,415 --> 01:18:28,918
We're gonna bring her hot chocolate
to warm her hard, hard heart.
1582
01:18:29,018 --> 01:18:31,257
Hot chocolate does wonders.
It's delicious.
1583
01:18:31,921 --> 01:18:34,791
That's what got y'all in trouble,
the hot chocolate.
1584
01:18:34,891 --> 01:18:36,993
Your son with the hot chocolate.
1585
01:18:37,093 --> 01:18:39,061
I'm telling you. Let me
explain something to you.
1586
01:18:39,161 --> 01:18:40,963
Let me make this clear to y'all.
1587
01:18:41,063 --> 01:18:43,032
Leave her out there.
She is grown, sitting there.
1588
01:18:43,132 --> 01:18:46,102
If she want to come in the house,
she know how to get in. Leave her alone.
1589
01:18:46,202 --> 01:18:48,938
We're gonna go out and try.
We'll talk to her a bit.
1590
01:18:49,038 --> 01:18:50,506
Go on. Go on.
1591
01:18:50,606 --> 01:18:52,542
Okay. You better wear a cup.
1592
01:18:52,642 --> 01:18:54,221
That's comforting.
1593
01:19:01,183 --> 01:19:03,286
Boy, this is something else,
isn't it? It's freezing.
1594
01:19:03,386 --> 01:19:05,388
Remember, Buddy,
kill her with kindness.
1595
01:19:05,488 --> 01:19:07,457
My weenie is an inny right now.
1596
01:19:07,557 --> 01:19:11,093
Try to have as much charm with your
voice as you do with your weenie.
1597
01:19:11,193 --> 01:19:13,896
Well, tell you what.
I ain't used to this cold weather.
1598
01:19:13,996 --> 01:19:16,132
I know. All right?
1599
01:19:16,232 --> 01:19:18,201
I'm gonna have to wipe
with an ice scraper tonight.
1600
01:19:18,301 --> 01:19:20,603
Smile's all in patience.
Ask the Lord.
1601
01:19:20,703 --> 01:19:22,805
Lord, help us. The Serenity Prayer.
1602
01:19:22,905 --> 01:19:26,676
There ain't no cabs out here.
You wanna come back in the house?
1603
01:19:26,776 --> 01:19:28,311
I'm fine right here.
1604
01:19:28,411 --> 01:19:30,889
I made you some pipin' hot chocolate.
1605
01:19:31,547 --> 01:19:34,417
Thank you. I don't
want any chocolate.
1606
01:19:34,517 --> 01:19:36,255
My son likes chocolate.
1607
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,756
Go ahead and laugh. This is awful.
1608
01:19:40,856 --> 01:19:43,593
What's so awful about it?
1609
01:19:43,693 --> 01:19:47,296
What world are you living in?
They are asking for trouble.
1610
01:19:47,396 --> 01:19:48,831
Eileen, I...
1611
01:19:48,931 --> 01:19:51,100
Mrs. Murphy to you.
1612
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:54,170
Miss Murphy, you can take a knife
and cut all three of us right now.
1613
01:19:54,270 --> 01:19:56,239
You know what's gonna happen?
We're gonna bleed red.
1614
01:19:56,339 --> 01:19:58,741
Blood red. We're all the same inside.
1615
01:19:58,841 --> 01:20:00,510
That's true.
1616
01:20:00,610 --> 01:20:03,884
Mrs. Murphy, if I may...
1617
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,951
our children, no matter what we think,
they will live their own lives.
1618
01:20:10,052 --> 01:20:12,655
- The world is changing.
- Not that much.
1619
01:20:12,755 --> 01:20:16,359
It is changing,
and that is a good thing.
1620
01:20:16,459 --> 01:20:20,196
Every generation sees
a little less division...
1621
01:20:20,296 --> 01:20:25,402
and a little more open
minds and open hearts.
1622
01:20:26,535 --> 01:20:29,505
I think we should be
happy and proud...
1623
01:20:29,605 --> 01:20:32,041
that our kids, our children...
1624
01:20:32,141 --> 01:20:35,745
see people as people.
1625
01:20:36,312 --> 01:20:37,647
That was beautiful.
1626
01:20:37,747 --> 01:20:39,815
- That was unbelievable.
- Thank you. I mean it.
1627
01:20:39,915 --> 01:20:42,585
Come in the house and get
to know us. We're good folks.
1628
01:20:42,685 --> 01:20:45,521
I know damn well you hear
me calling you. Eileen!
1629
01:20:45,621 --> 01:20:47,356
Traitor!
1630
01:20:47,456 --> 01:20:49,392
- Satan!
- Judas!
1631
01:20:49,492 --> 01:20:51,093
Beelzebub!
1632
01:20:51,193 --> 01:20:52,695
Come in. It is cold.
1633
01:20:52,795 --> 01:20:55,398
You got these people out here trying
to tempt you back in the house...
1634
01:20:55,498 --> 01:20:58,568
like a wet cat on a cold Sunday
morning who needs some milk.
1635
01:20:58,668 --> 01:21:00,303
Come in the house.
You're out here freezing.
1636
01:21:00,403 --> 01:21:03,806
Your ankles is whiter than snow.
Look like you been kicking flour.
1637
01:21:03,906 --> 01:21:06,247
My gosh, they are white.
Look, we are related.
1638
01:21:07,176 --> 01:21:10,580
I will not step into
that house of lies.
1639
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:13,316
The girl is married. You can't
control every minute of her life.
1640
01:21:13,416 --> 01:21:15,151
Do you understand? It is Christmas.
1641
01:21:15,251 --> 01:21:18,721
Give this child the gift of being
able to do whatever she want to do.
1642
01:21:18,821 --> 01:21:21,891
You can't run her life for her.
Do you understand that?
1643
01:21:21,991 --> 01:21:24,560
Ain't no cab comin'. You gonna
be sitting out here freezin'.
1644
01:21:24,660 --> 01:21:27,530
We gonna come out here tomorrow,
you gonna be a black Statue of Liberty...
1645
01:21:27,630 --> 01:21:29,265
just sitting down on your ass.
1646
01:21:29,365 --> 01:21:31,601
Come on in the house!
You know what? That's fine.
1647
01:21:31,701 --> 01:21:33,703
You don't want to come in
'cause you mad about something?
1648
01:21:33,803 --> 01:21:35,805
You can't get everything your way.
1649
01:21:35,905 --> 01:21:39,075
You ever woke up on Christmas morning
and didn't get the gift you wanted?
1650
01:21:39,175 --> 01:21:42,311
This is it. You didn't get the gift you
wanted. Bring your ass in the house.
1651
01:21:42,411 --> 01:21:44,647
Y'all wastin' your time,
'cause she stubborn as a mule.
1652
01:21:44,747 --> 01:21:47,984
I'm going in. You wanna sit out here
and freeze, sit your ass out here...
1653
01:21:48,084 --> 01:21:50,386
sit your ass out here and freeze!
1654
01:21:50,486 --> 01:21:52,622
Sit there as long as you want.
I don't give a damn.
1655
01:21:52,722 --> 01:21:54,690
Sit there and turn
into a damn Popsicle!
1656
01:21:54,790 --> 01:21:57,827
Freeze all the hell you want.
You done lost your damn mind!
1657
01:21:57,927 --> 01:21:59,335
Amen.
1658
01:22:03,065 --> 01:22:06,469
Come on inside. You'll freeze
to death. Ain't no cab coming.
1659
01:22:06,569 --> 01:22:08,871
- I can't believe that.
- We tried our best.
1660
01:22:08,971 --> 01:22:11,007
Let's go in and play
charades with Madea.
1661
01:22:11,107 --> 01:22:13,187
Then I will walk to town.
1662
01:22:14,310 --> 01:22:16,651
And I'll take the Greyhound bus.
1663
01:22:22,084 --> 01:22:25,563
I don't need none of them.
Not one of them.
1664
01:22:30,626 --> 01:22:32,034
Hey.
1665
01:22:33,963 --> 01:22:36,499
Your mama's still out in the cold.
You may want to talk to her.
1666
01:22:36,599 --> 01:22:39,502
- She doesn't want to talk to me.
- You sure about that?
1667
01:22:39,602 --> 01:22:41,237
I know my mother.
1668
01:22:41,337 --> 01:22:43,873
Apparently you don't know
her as well as you think.
1669
01:22:43,973 --> 01:22:45,941
And what's that supposed to mean?
1670
01:22:46,041 --> 01:22:49,512
She's been manipulating
you your entire life.
1671
01:22:49,612 --> 01:22:53,516
She lied to you about your daddy
and about her heart attacks.
1672
01:22:53,616 --> 01:22:55,084
It's just not right.
1673
01:22:55,184 --> 01:22:57,086
Can you stop talking
about my mother now?
1674
01:22:57,186 --> 01:23:00,389
I'm not talkin' about your mother.
I'm just statin' the obvious.
1675
01:23:00,489 --> 01:23:02,291
I'm not trying to attack you or her.
1676
01:23:02,391 --> 01:23:04,527
Good, because I've been
attacked enough today.
1677
01:23:04,627 --> 01:23:08,964
Between my mother and my job and...
It's just all a bit much.
1678
01:23:09,064 --> 01:23:11,667
And everybody's mad at me
because of the sponsor...
1679
01:23:11,767 --> 01:23:14,507
I didn't know it was from
Sheldon Construction Company.
1680
01:23:15,204 --> 01:23:17,284
Tanner McCoy. Yeah, okay.
1681
01:23:18,207 --> 01:23:20,548
- What about Tanner?
- Nothing.
1682
01:23:21,343 --> 01:23:23,719
- Baby.
- I said "nothing."
1683
01:23:24,814 --> 01:23:26,894
What did Tanner do?
1684
01:23:28,250 --> 01:23:31,888
He was so nasty.
And then he got me fired.
1685
01:23:34,723 --> 01:23:36,860
- Conner.
- Son of a bitch.
1686
01:23:38,060 --> 01:23:40,062
Conner, where are you going?
1687
01:23:40,162 --> 01:23:42,898
- Hey, what's going on?
- I mentioned Tanner and he lost it.
1688
01:23:42,998 --> 01:23:45,468
- Conner!
- I've been waiting to see this.
1689
01:23:45,568 --> 01:23:47,570
- I'm goin' with you, boy.
- Conner!
1690
01:23:54,370 --> 01:23:55,704
Conner!
1691
01:24:05,688 --> 01:24:09,592
Hot dog, it's cold out here.
It's all right. It's all right then.
1692
01:24:09,692 --> 01:24:11,100
Help!
1693
01:24:14,496 --> 01:24:18,934
What in the...
Oh, Jesus, no, you don't.
1694
01:24:19,034 --> 01:24:23,305
- Hey.
- Someone there? Hello?
1695
01:24:23,405 --> 01:24:25,109
I'm here.
1696
01:24:27,643 --> 01:24:29,222
I can't move.
1697
01:24:31,380 --> 01:24:33,517
All right now. We gotta
get outta here. Come on.
1698
01:24:35,017 --> 01:24:36,485
- I'm stuck.
- Can you move your...
1699
01:24:36,585 --> 01:24:38,130
My leg's caught.
1700
01:24:39,321 --> 01:24:40,900
I don't wanna die.
1701
01:24:41,523 --> 01:24:43,603
- Nobody's gonna die.
- I have a little boy.
1702
01:24:45,995 --> 01:24:47,073
Push.
1703
01:24:49,064 --> 01:24:50,900
I got you.
1704
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:53,102
Got it.
1705
01:24:54,536 --> 01:24:56,206
Go ahead.
1706
01:24:59,008 --> 01:25:00,587
I got you.
1707
01:25:23,799 --> 01:25:27,108
You're good. How are your legs? Okay.
1708
01:25:29,204 --> 01:25:30,673
- How's your head?
- All right.
1709
01:25:30,773 --> 01:25:33,615
All right. Get up. Get up.
1710
01:25:35,444 --> 01:25:37,524
Help. Help.
1711
01:25:39,315 --> 01:25:41,861
Get off my mother-in-law,
you son of a bitch!
1712
01:25:43,118 --> 01:25:45,721
- Hey! Don't hurt him! Stop it!
- Leave him be!
1713
01:25:45,821 --> 01:25:47,356
Come on!
1714
01:25:47,456 --> 01:25:50,893
Don't you ever, ever say a word to
my wife again. You understand me?
1715
01:25:50,993 --> 01:25:53,696
- What did he say about Lacey?
- Get in the truck.
1716
01:25:53,796 --> 01:25:55,698
I will not step foot
back in that house!
1717
01:25:55,798 --> 01:25:57,766
I am not in the mood
for your foolishness.
1718
01:25:57,866 --> 01:25:59,570
Now get your ass in that truck!
1719
01:26:01,904 --> 01:26:03,639
Now I'm plantin' corn...
1720
01:26:03,739 --> 01:26:07,082
and there ain't a damn
thing you can do about it.
1721
01:26:18,187 --> 01:26:19,766
Get out of here.
1722
01:26:34,603 --> 01:26:36,505
Babe, I wish you
wouldn't have done that.
1723
01:26:36,605 --> 01:26:37,907
It had to be done.
1724
01:26:38,007 --> 01:26:40,910
Nothing stops somebody like him from
bullying people except pushing back.
1725
01:26:41,010 --> 01:26:44,647
That's right. That kid's been a terror
to Conner since he was a little boy.
1726
01:26:44,747 --> 01:26:47,516
I'm glad you done what you did, Son.
I'm proud of you.
1727
01:26:47,616 --> 01:26:50,219
Stood up for himself,
and that's a good thing.
1728
01:26:50,319 --> 01:26:51,921
I'm with you, Lacey. I don't like it.
1729
01:26:52,021 --> 01:26:53,989
I just wanna tell you
all how sorry I am.
1730
01:26:54,089 --> 01:26:56,425
I should have told my
mom from the beginning.
1731
01:26:56,525 --> 01:26:59,028
That is the truth.
You should've told her.
1732
01:26:59,128 --> 01:27:01,964
We have met your mama
and we understand.
1733
01:27:02,064 --> 01:27:04,033
She crazy as hell. Didn't I tell you?
1734
01:27:04,133 --> 01:27:06,270
- She's cuckoo.
- That's right.
1735
01:27:07,236 --> 01:27:09,538
I don't like you all
talking about me.
1736
01:27:09,638 --> 01:27:11,273
No, Mrs. Murphy, I'm sorry.
1737
01:27:11,373 --> 01:27:14,109
We were just saying that God
makes everyone different...
1738
01:27:14,209 --> 01:27:17,290
and you are a gem in God's ring.
1739
01:27:20,149 --> 01:27:22,651
And I don't like the
way you spoke to me.
1740
01:27:22,751 --> 01:27:25,454
Well, I'm sorry. I was angry.
1741
01:27:25,554 --> 01:27:29,725
- What did you say?
- He told her to get her ass in the truck.
1742
01:27:29,825 --> 01:27:33,065
- And what did you do?
- She got her ass in the truck.
1743
01:27:34,530 --> 01:27:36,265
Go ahead and laugh.
1744
01:27:36,365 --> 01:27:38,500
Hold on, Eileen.
Y'all need to let all this go.
1745
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:41,570
You lied. She done lie. Everybody lied.
Here a lie, there a lie.
1746
01:27:41,670 --> 01:27:44,573
It's Christmas now. You need to
go down there and buy her a tree.
1747
01:27:44,673 --> 01:27:47,142
And plant it in the backyard.
Get her a ribbon.
1748
01:27:47,242 --> 01:27:48,711
- A yellow one.
- I'm sorry.
1749
01:27:48,811 --> 01:27:51,613
I just wanted to give my
daughter a proper wedding.
1750
01:27:51,713 --> 01:27:54,149
Mama, you've always been overbearing.
1751
01:27:54,249 --> 01:27:57,119
I did it for me. Not for you.
1752
01:27:57,219 --> 01:28:00,055
I love you, and I'm sorry...
1753
01:28:00,155 --> 01:28:02,324
that I didn't tell you,
but this is my life.
1754
01:28:02,424 --> 01:28:06,028
And he loves me,
and he treats me oh so well.
1755
01:28:06,128 --> 01:28:09,264
I'm sorry. I just didn't
want you to get hurt.
1756
01:28:09,364 --> 01:28:13,002
Mama, he's not gonna hurt me.
He's as gentle as a lamb.
1757
01:28:14,736 --> 01:28:17,749
No, he's not. He beat that
man down to the ground.
1758
01:28:18,207 --> 01:28:21,477
Come on. That guy had it comin',
and everybody knows it.
1759
01:28:21,577 --> 01:28:24,487
Well, he did say he
was protecting you.
1760
01:28:25,080 --> 01:28:27,049
I love your daughter, Miss Murphy.
1761
01:28:27,149 --> 01:28:30,285
I'll never let anything
happen to her. I promise.
1762
01:28:30,385 --> 01:28:32,021
That makes two of us.
1763
01:28:32,121 --> 01:28:37,330
Okay. Well, this is all new to me.
I don't know, but... I'll try.
1764
01:28:40,729 --> 01:28:43,165
Nothing beats a failure but a try.
1765
01:28:43,265 --> 01:28:46,101
- Now we're making some progress.
- Yeah.
1766
01:28:46,201 --> 01:28:47,939
A try's a try, right?
1767
01:28:50,072 --> 01:28:53,542
Oh, boy. That's Tanner.
That's trouble.
1768
01:28:53,642 --> 01:28:55,744
He's still got it.
I knew you got it in you.
1769
01:28:55,844 --> 01:28:57,287
- Now, don't.
- Baby...
1770
01:28:58,313 --> 01:29:02,151
You get off my property, Tanner McCoy,
before I knock you on your ass again.
1771
01:29:02,251 --> 01:29:04,753
- Give him a chance.
- He's just coming here to start trouble.
1772
01:29:04,853 --> 01:29:08,662
- No, he's not.
- I want to apologize.
1773
01:29:09,391 --> 01:29:11,960
- What?
- I want to...
1774
01:29:12,060 --> 01:29:13,969
say thank you.
1775
01:29:14,963 --> 01:29:17,373
- I'm sorry. I didn't get your name.
- Eileen.
1776
01:29:17,900 --> 01:29:20,002
Miss Eileen.
1777
01:29:20,102 --> 01:29:24,206
He told me what you did
for him. So... thank you.
1778
01:29:24,306 --> 01:29:26,784
Oh, thank you!
1779
01:29:29,111 --> 01:29:30,913
He really is a good man.
1780
01:29:31,013 --> 01:29:32,981
He's just been so troubled...
1781
01:29:33,081 --> 01:29:35,320
with all that's been
going on with the dam.
1782
01:29:38,720 --> 01:29:40,299
Thank you.
1783
01:29:45,827 --> 01:29:48,063
Tanner, I've been working
on a new strain of corn...
1784
01:29:48,163 --> 01:29:49,965
that doesn't need as much water.
1785
01:29:50,065 --> 01:29:52,577
I could use your help with it.
1786
01:29:55,070 --> 01:29:57,275
Yeah. I'd be glad to.
1787
01:30:04,012 --> 01:30:06,381
I'm sorry I wanted to get you fired.
1788
01:30:06,481 --> 01:30:09,218
I'm gonna talk to the
mayor tomorrow. Promise.
1789
01:30:09,318 --> 01:30:11,286
I'm sure he's still very upset.
1790
01:30:11,386 --> 01:30:15,124
Having to choose between going
on with Jubilee or getting sued...
1791
01:30:15,224 --> 01:30:16,959
is pretty crazy.
1792
01:30:17,059 --> 01:30:19,962
The town's going on with it,
but we're not happy...
1793
01:30:20,062 --> 01:30:23,966
about not being able to say
Jesus or celebrate his birth.
1794
01:30:24,066 --> 01:30:25,968
You know, Bailey's been practicing...
1795
01:30:26,068 --> 01:30:28,648
and all the kids are really sad.
1796
01:30:29,638 --> 01:30:33,015
Yeah, I've been thinking about that,
and I have an idea.
1797
01:30:34,276 --> 01:30:36,778
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
1798
01:30:36,878 --> 01:30:38,847
Jingle all the way
1799
01:30:38,947 --> 01:30:41,584
- We are live...
- Look at all the news vans.
1800
01:30:43,252 --> 01:30:46,021
This old town has never
had this much attention.
1801
01:30:46,121 --> 01:30:48,790
Well, since the whorehouse
closed down in 1970.
1802
01:30:48,890 --> 01:30:51,960
- That was a sad day.
- What do you think about the celebration?
1803
01:30:52,060 --> 01:30:55,130
Well, I say Christmas is about Jesus.
1804
01:30:55,230 --> 01:30:58,834
I ran down here. I ran for my life!
1805
01:30:58,934 --> 01:31:00,969
'Cause I was gonna start a fire.
1806
01:31:01,069 --> 01:31:02,871
"O Lord Jesus is a fire."
1807
01:31:02,971 --> 01:31:04,606
Ain't nobody got time for that.
1808
01:31:04,706 --> 01:31:06,942
- Hell no.
- Hold on there.
1809
01:31:07,042 --> 01:31:09,711
- We need to shut this down.
- Just wait a sec.
1810
01:31:09,811 --> 01:31:11,513
See what she's got to say.
1811
01:31:11,613 --> 01:31:13,949
I told them to hide the kids,
hide they wife...
1812
01:31:14,049 --> 01:31:16,852
and hide they Santa Claus,
'cause it's crazy around here.
1813
01:31:16,952 --> 01:31:18,921
Thank you so much. This is lovely.
1814
01:31:19,021 --> 01:31:21,657
I got a candy apple.
Where y'all went?
1815
01:31:21,757 --> 01:31:24,497
Merry Christmas. How you doing?
Where y'all went?
1816
01:31:25,761 --> 01:31:28,297
There they is, over there.
Hey, Oliver, how ya doin'?
1817
01:31:28,397 --> 01:31:31,034
Good to see you. Good to
see you. All right, all right.
1818
01:31:32,134 --> 01:31:35,977
Listen, listen, we have a contract.
You see those people over there?
1819
01:31:36,638 --> 01:31:38,479
They are very powerful.
1820
01:31:39,241 --> 01:31:41,710
You have to take down the nativity.
1821
01:31:41,810 --> 01:31:43,389
Okay, that's it.
1822
01:31:43,979 --> 01:31:46,415
May I have everyone's attention?
1823
01:31:46,515 --> 01:31:47,816
What is she doing?
1824
01:31:47,916 --> 01:31:49,551
Hello, Bucktussle.
1825
01:31:49,651 --> 01:31:52,354
I want to thank you all for coming
out to the Christmas Jubilee.
1826
01:31:52,454 --> 01:31:55,490
- Look at your daughter.
- Isn't she beautiful?
1827
01:31:55,590 --> 01:31:57,559
I'd also like to thank Sheldon
Construction Company...
1828
01:31:57,659 --> 01:32:00,171
for sponsoring this
Christmas celebration.
1829
01:32:03,532 --> 01:32:07,269
Christmas is about giving back,
and with all the world watching...
1830
01:32:07,369 --> 01:32:11,373
not only did Sheldon Construction
Company fund this event...
1831
01:32:11,473 --> 01:32:13,442
but they've also agreed to release...
1832
01:32:13,542 --> 01:32:18,148
150,000 gallons of water a day
down the river to the farmers.
1833
01:32:19,648 --> 01:32:21,056
Thank you.
1834
01:32:26,488 --> 01:32:29,068
- What are you doing?
- Giving goodwill towards men.
1835
01:32:29,658 --> 01:32:32,094
- Thank you, Mr. Sheldon.
- She's smart.
1836
01:32:32,194 --> 01:32:35,097
- I told you.
- Aren't you glad you didn't do anything?
1837
01:32:35,197 --> 01:32:36,598
- You care about getting back...
- Yeah.
1838
01:32:36,698 --> 01:32:38,867
To the heart of who we are as people.
1839
01:32:38,967 --> 01:32:42,537
You are so proud to
be a part of a town...
1840
01:32:42,637 --> 01:32:44,840
that doesn't mind keeping
the Christ in Christmas...
1841
01:32:44,940 --> 01:32:47,609
so much so, that they are
presenting the McCoy School...
1842
01:32:47,709 --> 01:32:52,224
with $100,000 a year
for the next four years.
1843
01:33:00,355 --> 01:33:02,591
- Yeah! Yes!
- Yes, yes!
1844
01:33:02,691 --> 01:33:06,228
Such a fantastic Christmas
gift to the city, sir.
1845
01:33:06,328 --> 01:33:09,231
- Can you give us a comment?
- So without further ado...
1846
01:33:09,331 --> 01:33:11,433
let the Christmas Jubilee begin.
1847
01:33:11,533 --> 01:33:13,112
Come on.
1848
01:33:16,405 --> 01:33:20,476
Well, hello, Bucktussle,
and welcome...
1849
01:33:21,243 --> 01:33:23,949
welcome to the Christmas
Jubilee and Fair.
1850
01:33:24,746 --> 01:33:26,648
The children of McCoy School...
1851
01:33:26,748 --> 01:33:29,518
have put together a little
presentation for us all...
1852
01:33:29,618 --> 01:33:32,421
and this has all been under the
direction of their current teacher...
1853
01:33:32,521 --> 01:33:34,489
May be wrong for that.
1854
01:33:34,589 --> 01:33:36,558
I am so proud of the kids.
1855
01:33:36,658 --> 01:33:38,093
Mrs. Lacey Williams.
1856
01:33:38,193 --> 01:33:41,163
- Did she say, "Mrs. Lacey Williams"?
- It was all her idea.
1857
01:33:41,263 --> 01:33:44,833
- Yep, she did.
- So, thank you, Lacey, for everything.
1858
01:33:44,933 --> 01:33:50,646
And now the children of McCoy School,
featuring Bailey McCoy.
1859
01:33:52,374 --> 01:33:54,253
That's my boy!
1860
01:33:56,878 --> 01:34:01,216
<i>Mary, did you know</i>
1861
01:34:01,316 --> 01:34:04,820
<i>That your baby boy</i>
1862
01:34:04,920 --> 01:34:09,291
<i>Would give sight to the blind man?</i>
1863
01:34:09,391 --> 01:34:13,662
<i>Mary, did you know</i>
1864
01:34:13,762 --> 01:34:16,498
- <i>That your baby boy</i>
- Hey, baby.
1865
01:34:16,598 --> 01:34:18,066
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
1866
01:34:18,166 --> 01:34:22,738
<i>Would calm a storm with his hand?</i>
1867
01:34:22,838 --> 01:34:25,741
<i>Did you know</i>
1868
01:34:25,841 --> 01:34:29,378
<i>That your baby boy</i>
1869
01:34:29,478 --> 01:34:34,850
<i>Has walked where angels trod</i>
1870
01:34:34,950 --> 01:34:40,989
<i>And when you kiss your little baby</i>
1871
01:34:41,089 --> 01:34:46,762
<i>You have kissed the face of God?</i>
1872
01:34:46,862 --> 01:34:51,069
<i>Mary, did you</i>
1873
01:34:51,733 --> 01:34:56,304
<i>Know?</i>
1874
01:35:22,831 --> 01:35:24,900
You don't need to
have no lingerie on.
1875
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:28,937
Eileen, tell him we've been shopping
at Tifton's for over 15 years.
1876
01:35:29,037 --> 01:35:31,206
Yes, okay. I'm gonna help her.
1877
01:35:31,306 --> 01:35:33,041
Okay, go help her. Fifteen years.
1878
01:35:33,141 --> 01:35:35,677
Well, 15 years ago maybe
that lingerie worked.
1879
01:35:35,777 --> 01:35:37,612
But now the lingerie
don't work, honey.
1880
01:35:37,712 --> 01:35:39,181
You are so insulting!
1881
01:35:39,281 --> 01:35:41,249
I am not insulting.
I am telling you the truth.
1882
01:35:41,349 --> 01:35:42,984
You shouldn't have
on no damn lingerie.
1883
01:35:43,084 --> 01:35:44,786
I'm trying to save you
some embarrassment.
1884
01:35:44,886 --> 01:35:47,622
Put on that damn lingerie, look like
you got hair damage on your ass.
1885
01:35:47,722 --> 01:35:51,827
I mean, come on now. Come on, honey.
I'm trying to help y'all.
1886
01:35:51,927 --> 01:35:54,429
- Is this good?
- There you go trying to control everything.
1887
01:35:54,529 --> 01:35:56,731
- I am not trying to...
- Let me get the lines clean.
1888
01:35:56,831 --> 01:35:58,300
Let me get the eye lines clean...
1889
01:35:58,400 --> 01:36:00,635
'cause I got a single on
me and a single on you.
1890
01:36:00,735 --> 01:36:02,704
And Maysie's sitting in the
editing room right now cussing...
1891
01:36:02,804 --> 01:36:04,439
'cause we're talking
all over each other.
1892
01:36:04,539 --> 01:36:07,042
Lacey, you do not
have a Christmas tree!
1893
01:36:07,142 --> 01:36:09,110
- Mama.
- What? No, really!
1894
01:36:09,210 --> 01:36:10,679
That's why you wanted me here...
1895
01:36:10,779 --> 01:36:13,315
- Yup, that's exactly why.
- I'll clean up and straighten out.
1896
01:36:13,415 --> 01:36:15,851
I'm gonna take this room.
Let me go straighten up a little.
1897
01:36:15,951 --> 01:36:17,853
- Then we'll go...
- She talks so much.
1898
01:36:17,953 --> 01:36:20,522
- Is this one yours, Madea?
- All right, come on.
1899
01:36:20,622 --> 01:36:22,702
What you talking about?
You just talking all over everybody.
1900
01:36:26,728 --> 01:36:29,331
- Hi.
- Look, they do it in unison.
1901
01:36:29,431 --> 01:36:32,300
They all do it in unison.
That's nice. Unison is nice.
1902
01:36:32,400 --> 01:36:34,769
The unison is very nice.
1903
01:36:34,869 --> 01:36:36,905
You tryin' to correct me?
I say it's "u-nis-on."
1904
01:36:37,005 --> 01:36:38,507
No, Aunt Madea.
1905
01:36:38,607 --> 01:36:40,342
So I have a meeting down the hall...
1906
01:36:40,442 --> 01:36:43,011
Any unison when they sang unison.
1907
01:36:43,111 --> 01:36:46,681
No, ma'am, it's not.
But that's fine. That's okay.
1908
01:36:46,781 --> 01:36:48,416
I have a meeting down the hall...
1909
01:36:48,516 --> 01:36:50,652
I thought it was "unison",
and "a cappollo."
1910
01:36:50,752 --> 01:36:53,221
When they sang in no music,
what is that?
1911
01:36:53,321 --> 01:36:54,456
No music?
1912
01:36:54,556 --> 01:36:56,858
Yeah, when you sang and there ain't
no music, ain't that a "cappollo"?
1913
01:36:56,958 --> 01:36:58,693
No, that's a cappella.
1914
01:36:58,793 --> 01:37:00,695
I don't know much about music.
1915
01:37:00,795 --> 01:37:03,307
Me and Ike Turner didn't make it.
He went on with Tina.
1916
01:37:04,232 --> 01:37:06,134
That's okay. That's okay.
1917
01:37:06,234 --> 01:37:07,969
I would beat the hell out of him.
1918
01:37:08,069 --> 01:37:10,205
Ike wasn't gonna put his hands
on me. That's all I'm saying.
1919
01:37:10,305 --> 01:37:12,073
I'm sorry. Say what you're
saying to the children.
1920
01:37:12,173 --> 01:37:13,575
- Are you done? Okay.
- Yes!
1921
01:37:13,675 --> 01:37:15,577
I have a meeting down the hall...
1922
01:37:15,677 --> 01:37:17,846
You ain't getting testy with me, are you?
Talkin' about "Are you done?"
1923
01:37:17,946 --> 01:37:20,215
- No, of course not.
- Okay.
1924
01:37:20,315 --> 01:37:23,752
Let's start over from the top, 'cause
that's gonna make it in the gag reel.
1925
01:37:23,852 --> 01:37:24,819
Speed.
1926
01:37:24,919 --> 01:37:26,388
- White lightning?
- Yeah, moonshine.
1927
01:37:26,488 --> 01:37:28,390
You want to take a snort?
1928
01:37:28,490 --> 01:37:29,791
Nope, I'll pass.
1929
01:37:29,891 --> 01:37:32,694
Boy, it'll put some hair on
your chest, I'll guarantee ya.
1930
01:37:32,794 --> 01:37:36,398
Stop it. Come on.
Talk about hair on your chest.
1931
01:37:36,498 --> 01:37:38,400
I could French-braid his.
1932
01:37:38,500 --> 01:37:40,435
That's right. I could
put a little bow on it.
1933
01:37:40,535 --> 01:37:43,572
She's too pretty to have
hair on her chest. Really.
1934
01:37:43,672 --> 01:37:45,674
I gotta tell you, I got rid of mine.
1935
01:37:45,774 --> 01:37:47,742
Little bat hairs
attached to needles...
1936
01:37:47,842 --> 01:37:50,011
soaked in cucumber juice
and a boatload of Nair.
1937
01:37:50,111 --> 01:37:52,113
Gone, like that, if you
ever have a problem with...
1938
01:37:52,213 --> 01:37:54,683
I've seen a mosquito
so daggone big...
1939
01:37:54,783 --> 01:37:57,419
it was dry-humping a wiener
dog right there on the porch.
1940
01:37:57,519 --> 01:38:01,089
She's way prettier than the
last one. She looked like...
1941
01:38:01,189 --> 01:38:02,597
Tyler Perry.
1942
01:38:05,694 --> 01:38:07,495
Boy, I tell you what, Son,
she's way prettier...
1943
01:38:07,595 --> 01:38:09,497
than that last girl you was with.
1944
01:38:09,597 --> 01:38:11,608
Good night. She looked
like old Tyler Perry.
1945
01:38:14,703 --> 01:38:16,605
All right. Keep going.
1946
01:38:16,705 --> 01:38:18,206
Oh, my God.
1947
01:38:18,306 --> 01:38:20,041
Where are my manners?
1948
01:38:20,141 --> 01:38:21,710
I'll do one it one more time. Ready?
1949
01:38:21,810 --> 01:38:23,311
Where are my manners?
1950
01:38:23,411 --> 01:38:25,380
But this'un,
you done good on this'un.
1951
01:38:25,480 --> 01:38:27,816
Shut the...
1952
01:38:27,916 --> 01:38:31,086
I need to introduce myself,
but where are my manners?
1953
01:38:31,186 --> 01:38:32,788
I am...
1954
01:38:35,290 --> 01:38:36,925
- All right.
- It's okay, Mama.
1955
01:38:37,025 --> 01:38:39,401
I know. It's gonna roll at the
end of the movie. All right.
1956
01:38:40,061 --> 01:38:42,197
I'm a truck driver.
1957
01:38:42,297 --> 01:38:45,567
Been out on the road a lot.
Long-haul truck driver.
1958
01:38:45,667 --> 01:38:46,968
You run long hos?
1959
01:38:47,068 --> 01:38:48,336
No, long haul.
1960
01:38:48,436 --> 01:38:50,038
Oh, haw, like haw.
1961
01:38:50,138 --> 01:38:51,606
- Hauling.
- Oh, hauling.
1962
01:38:51,706 --> 01:38:54,909
Like your eucalyptus.
Menthol. "Hall." Haul.
1963
01:38:55,009 --> 01:38:56,311
Not "hole." Haul.
1964
01:38:56,411 --> 01:38:58,780
- A hole, a haul, okay.
- But anyway...
1965
01:38:58,880 --> 01:39:00,789
he still lives here, that Tanner.
1966
01:39:02,250 --> 01:39:03,818
Kid's still beating him up?
1967
01:39:03,918 --> 01:39:05,387
Yeah, he's still beating him up.
1968
01:39:05,487 --> 01:39:07,555
The little kid?
He's too big for that.
1969
01:39:07,655 --> 01:39:09,924
No, he's big now.
He's a regular-sized kid.
1970
01:39:10,024 --> 01:39:12,594
I mean, he growed with...
He growed with Conner.
1971
01:39:12,694 --> 01:39:15,730
Tanner, he's regular size.
He ain't like a dwarf or nothin'.
1972
01:39:15,830 --> 01:39:17,866
- He growed?
- Yeah, he growed up that tall.
1973
01:39:17,966 --> 01:39:20,635
He ain't a dwarf. I mean,
shoot, he'd take a dwarf.
1974
01:39:20,735 --> 01:39:22,370
He'd kick ass out of a dwarf.
1975
01:39:22,470 --> 01:39:23,938
Hell, I hope so.
1976
01:39:24,038 --> 01:39:26,574
It's just regular-sized
kids he got trouble with.
1977
01:39:26,674 --> 01:39:29,711
- Okay. Okay.
- But he's good in the dwarf department.
1978
01:39:29,811 --> 01:39:32,480
I need a dictionary to keep
up with you sometime, honey.
1979
01:39:32,580 --> 01:39:36,317
If you're gonna do it, then you
need to do it and keep doin' her...
1980
01:39:36,417 --> 01:39:39,554
and then when you're done doin' her,
you keep doin' her again...
1981
01:39:39,654 --> 01:39:42,023
'cause you wanna keep doin'
what it is you need to do...
1982
01:39:42,123 --> 01:39:44,464
in order to do what
you need to be doin'.
1983
01:39:45,393 --> 01:39:46,665
Ain't that right?
1984
01:39:47,562 --> 01:39:49,197
She told you that lie too?
1985
01:39:49,297 --> 01:39:51,666
She didn't have no damn heart attack.
1986
01:39:51,766 --> 01:39:55,036
She had gas. We got her to the hospital,
they said she had gas.
1987
01:39:55,136 --> 01:39:56,104
What?
1988
01:39:56,204 --> 01:39:59,649
They ran one of them pipes in there,
she farted, it was over.
1989
01:40:05,346 --> 01:40:07,282
Yeah, she had gas.
1990
01:40:07,382 --> 01:40:09,884
She had gas. She had gas.
1991
01:40:09,984 --> 01:40:12,954
They hit her in the stomach real
hard and she farted. It was over.
1992
01:40:13,054 --> 01:40:14,556
Then she had heartburn.
1993
01:40:14,656 --> 01:40:17,566
Sounds like she needs
some Prilosec OTC.
1994
01:40:18,760 --> 01:40:20,328
Get out my way!
1995
01:40:20,428 --> 01:40:22,731
I don't need to be here
in this stuck-up-ass...
1996
01:40:22,831 --> 01:40:24,299
bougie-ass store nowhere.
1997
01:40:24,399 --> 01:40:27,309
I don't need to be up in
there with y'all! Go to hell!
1998
01:40:30,905 --> 01:40:33,713
Where's my damn car?
Where's my damn car?
1999
01:40:35,176 --> 01:40:36,687
Shut the hell up.
2000
01:40:43,585 --> 01:40:44,720
Cut.
2000
01:40:45,305 --> 01:40:51,579
Organize your media and download subtitles
Check out www.filebot.net today ;)
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,074
UrsulMag
2
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,117
- Okay. Are we doing...
- Hi.
3
00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:52,852
- How are you?
- I'm not comin' out there.
4
00:00:52,952 --> 00:00:56,056
It's only a day and a half of work,
and you gonna be making $150.
5
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,658
- I look like a damn fool.
- I'm gonna come in.
6
00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:01,429
Okay. One, two, thre...
7
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,496
You better stop it.
8
00:01:03,596 --> 00:01:06,766
Eileen, you come in on three.
You don't say, "One, two," and come in.
9
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:08,401
You say, "Three." Then you come in.
10
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:13,206
Look at you. You are
dressed for success.
11
00:01:13,306 --> 00:01:15,308
I look like the whole
damn red-light district.
12
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:17,644
I ain't had nothing like this
on since I was on that pole.
13
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:21,815
Ooh. Well, just think of this as
another pole. The North Pole.
14
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,616
They don't make it
rain at the North Pole.
15
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:25,518
At my age, I can't
get no rain nowhere.
16
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,998
I get a little drizzle,
but them quarters hurt.
17
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:32,625
No, no, no. Well, this is beautiful.
18
00:01:32,725 --> 00:01:35,962
Just think of this as a little
extra money for you and Cora.
19
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,764
Honey, I don't buy Cora
nothing for Christmas.
20
00:01:37,864 --> 00:01:39,666
I ain't bought her nothing
since she was seven years old.
21
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,101
- You're kidding.
- That's right.
22
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:44,037
Cora asked me for some money
for some dolls named Starz.
23
00:01:44,137 --> 00:01:45,972
I couldn't afford it.
She just wanted them Starz.
24
00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:48,041
So all day Christmas,
she made me feel bad.
25
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,377
That night, Christmas dinner,
she's still sitting at the table crying.
26
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:53,013
I knocked the hell out of her.
You know what happened?
27
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,682
She saw stars. And she never
asked me for another gift.
28
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,984
- You are dreadful. Yes, you are.
- The truth.
29
00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:00,820
- I can't do this, Eileen.
- Yes, you can. Stop.
30
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,389
- Now, just smile.
- Okay. I'm smiling.
31
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:04,457
Now, you should see...
Come over here.
32
00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:06,026
I gotta take you where you working.
33
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,429
You should see the lovely gifts
I bought for my daughter.
34
00:02:09,529 --> 00:02:11,865
- How she doing?
- Oh, she is excellent.
35
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:14,034
You know she went to New
York to get a degree...
36
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,871
got her master's and up and
moved to Alabama of all places.
37
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,573
- What the hell she move to Alabama for?
- Who knows.
38
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:24,878
Anyway, she took a little job there in
some little, small school, you know.
39
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,718
She says she wants to start a farm.
40
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:32,685
- A farm? What she starting a farm for?
- I don't know. I don't know.
41
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:36,222
But anyway, you know she got
tons of offers down here in Atlanta.
42
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,958
But she didn't want to,
so what can you do?
43
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:41,661
- Maybe she's trying to get away from you.
- You better stop that.
44
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,530
- Where we going?
- My daughter loves me.
45
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:47,735
Round yon Virgin Mother...
46
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:52,449
- Was that you singing?
- No, ma'am.
47
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:56,076
There's no one else in there,
Bailey McCoy.
48
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,012
Come on. Walk with me.
You're late again.
49
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,380
I'm sorry.
50
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,715
- I'm gonna have to talk to your parents.
- No.
51
00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:06,319
I just woke up late.
I'll be here on time. I promise.
52
00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:07,887
Budget cuts, budget cuts.
53
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:10,090
All right. Go on in class.
54
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,092
- We'll talk about this later. Okay?
- Okay.
55
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,431
And your singing.
56
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,176
I'm not gonna come in
here and listen to this.
57
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,511
All right, people!
58
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,909
Now, we may have to cancel
the Christmas Jubilee this year.
59
00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:32,545
- No way!
- We don't have the budget!
60
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:34,481
Mayor, you hold on right there.
61
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:36,483
All right? Now, I grew
"poinsetters" for this.
62
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:37,884
Poinsettias.
63
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,688
- That's what I said.
- No, you didn't.
64
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:42,455
If this Christmas
Jubilee don't happen...
65
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,357
what am I gonna do with
all them "poinsetters"?
66
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:46,759
- Poinsettias.
- Stop. Do I look stupid?
67
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:48,761
- Tanner, I understand.
- No, sir...
68
00:03:48,861 --> 00:03:50,964
with all due respect,
I don't think you do.
69
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,766
Since they built that dam upriver,
we've been barely surviving.
70
00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,069
Between that and the drought...
71
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,104
managed to put most of
our crops out of business.
72
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,106
We need this Christmas Jubilee
to happen. You hear me?
73
00:04:00,206 --> 00:04:03,143
We don't have the money.
I talked to the city council, didn't I?
74
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,411
You did, Your Honor.
He talked to him. I heard him.
75
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:08,848
- Take it out of the school.
- Hold on, Tanner McCoy.
76
00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,084
We've already cut
the school's budget...
77
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,653
and as principal,
I have to draw the line.
78
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,489
We have four teachers
teaching several classes.
79
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,692
If we cut back more, we'll not be
able to finish the school year.
80
00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:22,562
I don't care.
Somebody has to do something.
81
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:24,531
We have to have this
Christmas Jubilee.
82
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:28,268
It helps too many people around here
make enough money just to stay open.
83
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:30,303
We don't have the budget!
84
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:34,144
When we elected you as mayor,
you said you would help us!
85
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:37,977
I know. I'm sorry.
86
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:41,981
Folks around here don't take too kindly
to politicians not keeping their word.
87
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:45,958
You keep putting all these good people
against the wall and see what happens.
88
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,189
Come on, fellas. Geez.
89
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,369
- This is ridiculous.
- Absolutely.
90
00:04:56,162 --> 00:04:58,242
- You believe that guy?
- That was unpleasant.
91
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,266
Yes, it was.
92
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:02,068
- This is where you'll be working.
- Okay.
93
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,003
Okay? Have you ever
done sales before?
94
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:07,874
- Yes, I sold trees.
- Christmas trees?
95
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,943
When you smoke 'em, they make
you feel like it's Christmas.
96
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,011
If you don't stop that nasty talk.
97
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,180
Stop it. I mean,
where goods were exchanged.
98
00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:16,282
I was exchanging my
goodies back in the day.
99
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:17,817
Yes, indeed.
100
00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:19,997
- I got to bring...
- On the black market.
101
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:24,624
- I got to bring you back to church.
- You ain't bringing me to no church.
102
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:27,060
I ain't goin' to no church.
The devil is a lie.
103
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,195
- And you still married to him.
- Honey, honey...
104
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:31,264
- Speak of the devil, listen. Listen.
- What, what, what?
105
00:05:31,364 --> 00:05:33,499
- Y'all want me to work the register?
- No, no.
106
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,068
- Other people take...
- You sure?
107
00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:36,970
You have to be bonded for that job.
108
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,972
If I took the register,
I'd be bonded out.
109
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,840
Okay. Yeah. No, no, no, no.
110
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:44,744
Listen, let's go over a little quick
review of what you're supposed to do.
111
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,647
- You teach me.
- You're supposed to direct the customers...
112
00:05:47,747 --> 00:05:50,583
when they ask you for something,
and you can refer to this.
113
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,852
Okay? Now,
kitchenware is on the fifth floor.
114
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,420
- Kitchenware, fifth floor.
- Yes.
115
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,422
- Women's apparel is on the second...
- Y'all sell pears?
116
00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:58,391
Y'all got produce up there?
117
00:05:58,491 --> 00:06:00,994
- Clothing. Women's clothing.
- Say, "Clothing." Don't say, "A pears."
118
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,829
I don't know what
"apparels" is. "A pears."
119
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,131
Okay. Young adults
is on the third floor.
120
00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:09,002
- Young adults on the third floor.
- Makeup and perfume is here.
121
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,603
And over there across the hall.
122
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,939
- I get it. I'll be fine.
- All right, and listen.
123
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,775
Most important,
everybody gets the same greeting.
124
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,044
When they come in,
you look them in the face...
125
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:21,881
you smile pretty and you say,
"Merry Christmas.
126
00:06:21,981 --> 00:06:24,250
It's a beautiful day at Tifton's.
127
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:27,754
Joy to you and yours.
Yes, may I help you?"
128
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:29,656
That what I say?
Fine. I will say that.
129
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,025
- You wanna go over it once?
- All right.
130
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,927
- Here's a customer. Okay.
- Can you help me?
131
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:36,663
- Yes. Merry...
- Yes.
132
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,331
Mary had a little...
133
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,400
- No, Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
134
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,569
- It's a beautiful day at Tip...
- Tifton's.
135
00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:45,905
- Tap... Tip... Tiptoes.
- Joy to you.
136
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,608
Joy to the world and the Lord
is come, and happy Easter.
137
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:51,177
What can... What can I
do for you at Tifton's?
138
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:53,357
Thank you. I'm looking
for women's lingerie.
139
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:56,582
Honey? Who the lingerie for?
140
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:58,420
For me, of course.
141
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,788
I don't know about you
wearing the lingeries.
142
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:05,291
Those days are over, honey.
Somebody should've told you it's passed.
143
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:08,161
The lingeries is for young
people with tight, firm stuff.
144
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,630
What I would suggest you do, hunty...
145
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,499
I would suggest you walk
across the street to Target...
146
00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:18,237
and ask them for some of those
really nice big, big-girl drawers...
147
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:20,239
so that you will be comfortable.
148
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:22,275
You don't wanna walk around
with a slingshot up your butt.
149
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,876
- Eileen!
- Come, come, come.
150
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:25,445
Come. Let me help you.
151
00:07:25,545 --> 00:07:27,347
- You are so rude!
- She's something.
152
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:31,484
No, you are the one that's rude
anytime you bring lingerie to a man.
153
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:34,587
Who was the 37th president
of the United States?
154
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:36,266
I know.
155
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:41,638
Bailey, do you know?
156
00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:45,732
I know the answer.
157
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,901
I didn't ask you. I asked Bailey.
158
00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:52,271
He don't know. He's always dirty.
159
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:54,807
And he's just a farm boy.
160
00:07:54,907 --> 00:08:00,246
Yes, but he's the only one to get
an A on all three of his last tests.
161
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,648
What did you get, Lucy?
162
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:04,250
Or you, Larry?
163
00:08:04,350 --> 00:08:06,760
There will be no
bullying in this class.
164
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,757
I'll see you all tomorrow.
Do your homework.
165
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:13,359
Look over the list of songs
for the Christmas Jubilee.
166
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:16,362
Christmas is five days away.
167
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,508
Hold on a second, Bailey.
168
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,774
You gotta start speaking up
and participating in class.
169
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,609
I know you knew the answer.
170
00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,011
You're are so smart and talented.
171
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:36,215
You get an A on every test.
You gotta believe in yourself.
172
00:08:36,315 --> 00:08:39,885
Lucy's right.
I'm just an old farm boy.
173
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,656
There is no such thing
as "just a farm boy."
174
00:08:43,756 --> 00:08:47,065
You are smart. You can
be anything you want.
175
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:51,731
I can only imagine if you could
just stay awake in class.
176
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:54,467
- Are you up late at night?
- No, ma'am.
177
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:58,205
I want you to sing the lead
solo at the Christmas Jubilee.
178
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:01,073
I'm sorry. I can't do that.
179
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,583
- Yes, you can.
- No.
180
00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,651
You know what? I really
gotta go, Miss Williams.
181
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,591
My daddy's gonna be
waiting for me at home.
182
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,090
Go on.
183
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:26,332
Hello?
184
00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,434
I don't hear from you in six years...
185
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:31,804
and you call me out of the
blue because you need my help.
186
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,473
Don't blame that on me.
187
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,409
You're the one who married Kelly
and stopped returning my calls.
188
00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,177
You're not still bitter, are you?
189
00:09:38,277 --> 00:09:40,789
Maybe. How is she?
190
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:44,555
I don't know. We're divorced.
191
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,386
Good. She was such a tramp.
192
00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:51,023
I can't believe you married her and
dumped me. That's what you get.
193
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:53,192
Okay, okay.
194
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:56,128
Hey, pull up, It was high school.
Am I forgiven?
195
00:09:56,228 --> 00:09:59,765
That depends. Can you help
me with my school situation?
196
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,702
- So you need sponsorship?
- Yes.
197
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,770
A call came in just as I
was leaving a meeting..
198
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:07,607
With a company that's in
the middle of a PR nightmare.
199
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,942
They could use some
goodwill right now.
200
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:13,779
Actually, in a town like yours.
So your timing may be perfect.
201
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,515
Tell me about it.
202
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,451
Can't do that until
we have a contract.
203
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:22,221
- You don't trust me?
- No, no, no, it's not that.
204
00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,526
I have to protect my
interests, that's all.
205
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:27,260
Tell you what.
206
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,595
I'll come down with a contract,
you get your people to sign...
207
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,364
and I'm sure I can pull in...
208
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,408
at least a hundred grand for
your school and its event.
209
00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,904
$100,000. That would be great.
210
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,906
How soon can you get here?
211
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:41,774
You need the money
right away, don't you?
212
00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:44,577
Yeah. So you're willing
to drive down to Alabama?
213
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:47,113
I will drive over tomorrow.
214
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,615
We'll get the contract signed,
then I'll have to leave...
215
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,552
but I'll be back for the event.
216
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,732
That would be fantastic.
217
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,057
Oliver, thank you so much.
218
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,292
See you soon.
219
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,493
- You got it.
- Bye.
220
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,866
Child, that Powerball is going up.
221
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:09,168
Hello? Hey, I need y'all to
go get me some scratch-offs.
222
00:11:09,268 --> 00:11:11,170
- Yeah, and play the numbers for me.
- Can you help me?
223
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:12,772
That Powerball has
gotten really high.
224
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:14,173
Play number 22...
225
00:11:14,273 --> 00:11:16,242
- Excuse me.
- 17,5 and 6.
226
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,145
Go play them numbers, and bring
me a bunch of scratch offs. Yeah.
227
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:21,714
Just two, three of 'em.
Don't spend a lot of money.
228
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,049
I need some help!
229
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,951
Hold on, 'cause somebody's
screaming at me.
230
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,131
I'm getting ready to
choke her. Hold on.
231
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,158
Lady, you gonna need a damn
doctor if you holler at me again.
232
00:11:32,258 --> 00:11:35,027
Do you understand?
Now, what can I help you with?
233
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,029
- I need a watch for my husband.
- A men's watch.
234
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,266
A men's watch. You know,
I like it with a leather band.
235
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,768
- You know, a nice thin watch.
- Here are some men's...
236
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,971
Oh, hell. It's time for my break.
237
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,906
- Time for my break.
- Break?
238
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,474
No, wait.
239
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,042
- You're so rude.
- Bye, bye, bye.
240
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:52,878
- You rude as hell. You rude as hell.
- Please. I need a watch.
241
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:55,348
Get out of my way. I'm trying
to go to the break room.
242
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:56,526
Wait! Come back!
243
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,465
You still here?
244
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:05,024
He called me back.
245
00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:07,204
Yeah? And?
246
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:12,832
He thinks he can get us
$100,000 in sponsorship money.
247
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,767
$100,000?
248
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:17,103
- Oh, my goodness, that would be so great.
- I know.
249
00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:19,438
That would not only
pay for the Jubilee...
250
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:22,241
that would take us well into
next year's school year.
251
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,677
We could get new books,
maybe even a new computer.
252
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:27,580
Wait, calm down. It hasn't
happened yet. It's not done.
253
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,349
Okay, but I have faith that it is.
254
00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:34,820
Lacey, thank you so much for
doing this. I really appreciate it.
255
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,324
I know this school is not the best,
but it is all we got.
256
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,860
And I know you could have gone
anywhere in the country...
257
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,029
with the credentials you have.
258
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,505
- I love it here.
- Thank you.
259
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,968
He's coming down tomorrow
with the contract.
260
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,937
This is so wonderful!
I gotta call the mayor.
261
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,073
- Yes.
- He's gonna be so excited.
262
00:12:54,173 --> 00:12:56,275
This is going to be a wonderful
Christmas after all!
263
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,954
It's gonna be fantastic.
264
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:01,950
All right. I'll see you tomorrow.
265
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,643
- Hello?
- I must be dialing the wrong number.
266
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,713
You said that already,
but you called back five times.
267
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,548
So what number you trying to get?
268
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,983
I'm trying to reach
my daughter, Lacey.
269
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,386
Oh, yeah. Yeah,
she just walked in. Hold on.
270
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,566
- Who is that?
- Your mama.
271
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,262
- Hi, Mama.
- Who was that?
272
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:51,864
That was Conner.
273
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:53,543
Conner?
274
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,936
That's the guy you hired
to help you with the farm?
275
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:58,738
Yeah, that's him.
276
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,574
Okay. I don't know if I
like him up there with you.
277
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,142
Suppose he gets fresh...
278
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,544
and you don't have no man
up there to protect you.
279
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,747
Mama, I'm fine. What's going on?
280
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,282
I can't wait until you
taste the dinner...
281
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,585
I have prepared for
you for Christmas.
282
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,187
Yeah, I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.
283
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:17,697
I'm not gonna be able
to come home this year.
284
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,658
What?
285
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,761
Uh-uh. It's Christmas.
286
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,630
I know, it's just I'm just
getting settled in...
287
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,799
and the farm needs a lot of work.
288
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,301
Uh-uh. You not no
farmer in the dell now.
289
00:14:29,401 --> 00:14:30,870
It's not just the farm.
290
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:33,172
They've also decided to
extended the school year...
291
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,740
to the day before Christmas.
292
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,610
- What kind of school is that?
- We lost a lot of days...
293
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,746
because of the storms this summer,
so we have to make them up,
294
00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:43,115
And I'm helping the kids prepare
songs for the Christmas Jubilee.
295
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:47,086
And we have a budget crisis.
So it's just too busy right now, Mom.
296
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,087
I'll come up there.
297
00:14:48,187 --> 00:14:49,588
- No.
- Yes.
298
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,657
- I haven't seen you in nine months...
- It's not the right time.
299
00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,659
And you don't drive.
300
00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:56,262
I can get somebody to
drive up there with me.
301
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,631
I can ask your Aunt
Madea to come with me.
302
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:01,901
Mama, can we just skip it this year?
It's only Christmas.
303
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,469
You bite your tongue,
304
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,838
Christmas is the time of year...
305
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:10,282
when we celebrate the birth of
Jesus with our families and...
306
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,613
Lacey, I don't have
to tell you that...
307
00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:17,416
you and I are the
only family we have,
308
00:15:17,516 --> 00:15:19,596
I know. Mom, are you crying?
309
00:15:21,954 --> 00:15:23,556
What was that, Conner?
310
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:25,758
I didn't say anything.
311
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,494
I'm sorry. Conner needs
my help, Mama. I gotta go.
312
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,765
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Love you Bye,
313
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,903
Do not look at me like that.
You don't understand.
314
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,878
I didn't say a word.
315
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,279
Are you okay?
316
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:51,417
Girl, I don't know why I let you talk
me into comin' and doin' this job.
317
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,453
- I didn't take my medicine this morning.
- What medicine?
318
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,758
Five milligrams
of "Don't choke that ho."
319
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,692
These customers gettin' right...
320
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,827
I feel I'm getting ready
to maybe catch a case.
321
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,473
- I could spit.
- What's wrong with you?
322
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,238
Lacey's not coming for Christmas.
323
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,602
That ain't no problem.
Children grow up.
324
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,570
They don't wanna come home sometimes.
325
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,249
Something's wrong.
326
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,474
- Eileen?
- What?
327
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:18,678
I know that look in your eye.
Don't go jumpin' to no conclusion.
328
00:16:19,345 --> 00:16:21,513
I don't jump to conclusions.
329
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:24,516
Last time you went to
the doctor, you had a rash.
330
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:27,820
Walked up in there, told the man
you had cancer and you was dying.
331
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,658
Madea, many people in my
family have died of cancer.
332
00:16:32,758 --> 00:16:34,693
- I know your family.
- Yes.
333
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,162
- My grandmother.
- Got hit by a bus.
334
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:41,267
But she had cancer. My uncle Bayrod.
335
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:44,003
- Drowned.
- Because he had cancer.
336
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:45,804
- Eileen?
- What?
337
00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:48,107
No, no, no, no. Something is wrong.
338
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,843
Something is wrong with my child,
and I'm gonna find out what it is.
339
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,779
She's down there in the country,
and I don't know what's going on.
340
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,382
I haven't seen where she works,
where she live.
341
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,951
- It's just awful!
- Your daughter is grown.
342
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:01,954
Leave her alone. If she want to
come home, she will come home.
343
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,633
What you planning on doing?
344
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:05,691
I'm gonna go down there.
345
00:17:05,791 --> 00:17:08,193
I'd like to see that,
'cause you don't drive.
346
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,263
- You do.
- Child, I ain't goin' to no Alabama.
347
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:14,934
Last time I was in Alabama, I was chained
to Andy Young and Jesse Jackson.
348
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:18,274
- You marched?
- We wasn't upright when we was marching.
349
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:23,008
- We gonna go down there.
- I'm not driving to no Alabama.
350
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:26,011
All my stuff is illegal. I don't
like driving through Georgia.
351
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,314
You think I'm gettin' ready
to drive through Alabama?
352
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,382
- I'll pay you.
- What time you wanna leave?
353
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,484
Okay. Good.
354
00:17:32,584 --> 00:17:34,553
No, child. I can't get on
the road with my Cadillac.
355
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:38,791
It's got 4,785,000 miles on it,
and I just changed the oil in it.
356
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,859
Every light on the dashboard say...
357
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,266
"You crazy as hell if
you go anywhere in me."
358
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:48,000
- Madea...
- I can't do it, hon. I'm sorry.
359
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:51,181
Have you ever thought maybe she
just don't want to see you, Eileen?
360
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:54,006
My daughter loves me.
361
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:57,009
She loves spending time with me.
362
00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:00,412
All right, honey. If you find a ride,
I'll go up there with you.
363
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:03,024
All right. Well, I will work on it.
364
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:17,005
Conner.
365
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,632
- What the hell you think you're doin'?
- What are you talking about?
366
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:22,534
I was down at the feed store.
367
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,670
They tell me you're planning
on planting corn this year.
368
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,305
Yeah, I was.
369
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,540
I plant corn.
370
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:31,310
Well, actually, what I'm
working on can help all of us.
371
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,479
- What you're working on?
- Yeah.
372
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:37,016
You think you learned something down
in that college that I don't know about?
373
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,856
- That's not what I meant, Tanner.
- No, you don't.
374
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:43,389
And you better find
something else to plant.
375
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:46,158
You been gone from around
here for far too long.
376
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,826
I mean it, Conner.
377
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:51,667
Otherwise, I'll be here every day,
kick your ass like I did back in school.
378
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:03,575
Eileen, we've had a lot of
complaints about your friend.
379
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:05,144
Oh, no.
380
00:19:05,244 --> 00:19:07,279
Hey there. I was
getting ready to go...
381
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:10,249
- What's the matter?
- We're going to have to ask you to leave.
382
00:19:10,349 --> 00:19:14,153
Good, it's about damn time.
I get out of... Give me my check.
383
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,661
We'll mail it to you.
384
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:19,024
No, honey. Eileen,
you better tell her.
385
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,960
Ain't nobody gonna mail me no check.
I didn't mail my work up in here.
386
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,329
You ain't mailing me no check.
Where's my money?
387
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:27,099
Madea, go home. I'll call you later.
388
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,568
I don't give a damn who calling who.
Somebody gonna give me my money.
389
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,770
Would you please leave quietly?
390
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:33,972
Oh, sure. You want
me to leave quietly?
391
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,808
You want me to leave quietly?
392
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,077
I will show you how
to leave damn quietly.
393
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,045
Y'all gonna give me my damn money.
394
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:44,049
But before I get my damn purse,
I'm gonna get money out this register.
395
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:45,851
- Excuse me.
- No, no.
396
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:48,754
No, you can't do that. Put... Madea.
397
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,756
Where my purse?
Unlock the damn thing!
398
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:53,692
I got my purse here. This is $150.
399
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,495
- This is what you owe me.
- Put that money back.
400
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,564
I'm gonna take something else.
I'm gonna take this dress.
401
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,632
- Stop it!
- Take whatever I want out of here.
402
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:02,734
What's this pulling on me?
403
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,470
You're embarrassing us.
404
00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,473
What the hell y'all looking at?
What the hell all y'all looking at?
405
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,843
It's Christmas, and I'm takin'
what the hell I want up in here!
406
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:14,379
What y'all gonna do about it?
What y'all gonna do about it?
407
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:17,015
- I'll take this too.
- She didn't take her medication today.
408
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:19,985
You got me coming up here,
trying to work in this place...
409
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:21,787
and I don't know
what the hell gonna...
410
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,956
Get out the way!
What the hell goin' on?
411
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,359
- I know what the hell I'm doing!
- She has never acted like this before.
412
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,495
I'm fabulous. I'm gone
with the wind fabulous.
413
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,333
I am so sorry.
414
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,619
Hi. I'm Lacey Williams,
Bailey's teacher.
415
00:20:53,719 --> 00:20:56,561
- Right. Come on in.
- Thank you.
416
00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,327
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
417
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,663
I just stopped by to talk to you.
418
00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:07,833
I graded another one of Bailey's
homework assignments...
419
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,234
Listen, I'm sorry.
420
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,571
He has to help his daddy at night,
so he doesn't get much time to study.
421
00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,841
Then he gets up early in the
morning to work with him...
422
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,920
so I'll just have to get
on him to do better.
423
00:21:19,978 --> 00:21:21,819
He can't get any better.
424
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,850
- He gets straight A's.
- What?
425
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:28,520
Yeah. And to know he works after
school and in the morning...
426
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,455
is even more impressive.
427
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:34,262
He really should go to a gifted
school with a fine arts department.
428
00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:37,302
Wow.
429
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:42,401
I always knew he was smart.
I didn't know he was that smart.
430
00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,971
Me and his daddy never
got much schoolin'.
431
00:21:46,071 --> 00:21:49,508
You really think Bailey could
make it outside of this place?
432
00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:51,381
I know he can.
433
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,646
I mean, that's really
all I want for him.
434
00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:57,549
Bailey is always telling me
how good you are to him...
435
00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:01,220
and that you defend him in front
of those other kids, so thank you.
436
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,756
- Well, he's a very special boy.
- Yeah, he is.
437
00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:06,658
- Have a seat.
- Sure. Thank you.
438
00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:09,270
- Can I get you something to drink?
- Yes.
439
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:11,440
Thanks.
440
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,879
Thank you.
441
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:22,507
He also told me you want him to
sing at the Christmas Jubilee?
442
00:22:22,607 --> 00:22:24,943
Yes. He has a beautiful voice.
443
00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:27,679
You think the Jubilee is
gonna happen this year?
444
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:29,248
Yes, haven't you heard?
445
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:31,917
I got a friend of mine to
get us a sponsorship for it.
446
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,919
So it's definitely gonna happen.
447
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,793
- That's great news.
- Yeah, it really is.
448
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,029
Oh, hell. What do you want?
449
00:22:44,129 --> 00:22:47,267
- Hi, I'm Lacey Williams.
- I know who you are.
450
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,636
You're Bailey's teacher.
Bailey's gonna be late to school.
451
00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:53,908
He's got a lot of work to do here,
that's if he makes it at all.
452
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:57,051
No need come around
here no more. Okay?
453
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:00,217
I am so sorry.
454
00:23:02,848 --> 00:23:04,427
Merry Christmas.
455
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:11,523
Oliver, this is so funny.
456
00:23:11,623 --> 00:23:14,960
I hadn't spoken to your mother
in a while, and we got talking...
457
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,163
and she said you were drivin'
to Alabama to see Lacey!
458
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:20,499
Miss Eileen, I'm happy
to have the company.
459
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:23,935
Did I tell you I take blood pressure
medicine that makes me have to pee?
460
00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:27,172
- I'll have to go to the bathroom soon.
- Okay, go in the bush.
461
00:23:27,272 --> 00:23:30,444
I'm not putting my tush over no bush.
I don't know what's wrong with you.
462
00:23:32,844 --> 00:23:35,049
The leaves fell off
of it, but it work!
463
00:23:35,547 --> 00:23:37,449
- Jesus. Baby...
- It the wintertime.
464
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:39,651
Just keep your eyes ahead.
465
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:42,821
Okay? No, no, no. She's always
like this, since a child.
466
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,389
- Yeah, since my childhood.
- Something's wrong.
467
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:45,957
Something's wrong, but we accept it.
468
00:23:46,057 --> 00:23:48,026
You sure you didn't tell
her we were coming?
469
00:23:48,126 --> 00:23:50,162
I wanted this to be a big surprise!
470
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,841
I'm sure.
471
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:55,967
'Cause she's gonna be
so happy to see you!
472
00:23:56,067 --> 00:24:00,172
Madea, I told him how much
Lacey talks about him.
473
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:03,508
Why you hollerin' like I'm in the back
of an airplane and you in first class?
474
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,111
I can hear you. You right here.
475
00:24:06,211 --> 00:24:08,080
All I'm saying is this...
476
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:10,082
- What's your name, boy? Olive Oil?
- Oliver.
477
00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:11,650
All I'm saying is this.
478
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:14,853
If she wanted to talk to you,
she would have called you all the time.
479
00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:16,555
Don't get your hopes
up listening to Eileen.
480
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:19,858
Don't listen to her. You two
are gonna be together again.
481
00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:22,260
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
I see it on your face.
482
00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,995
I see it on your face. Yeah!
483
00:24:24,095 --> 00:24:25,997
I would like to see us
have another chance.
484
00:24:26,097 --> 00:24:28,700
Y'all was in high school back then.
I got to pee, son.
485
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,203
You been driving around
in circles for way too long.
486
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:34,339
Go on over there. Pull over there,
ask these people directions.
487
00:24:34,439 --> 00:24:36,708
I'm gonna go in here
and use the bathroom.
488
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,610
No, Madea.
This place don't look right.
489
00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,946
Eileen, here. This a...
Child, please.
490
00:24:41,046 --> 00:24:43,615
I grew up in the country.
Ain't nobody in here.
491
00:24:43,715 --> 00:24:45,795
He what sittin'
there willy-whilin'. Ask him.
492
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:49,087
Lord, this thing is high.
You gotta get me a step.
493
00:24:49,187 --> 00:24:51,323
'Scuse me, sir.
You look like a nice man.
494
00:24:51,423 --> 00:24:53,592
How you doin'? We are lost.
He trying to find direction.
495
00:24:53,692 --> 00:24:55,727
I need a bathroom. Is there
a bathroom here somewhere?
496
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:58,029
Yes, ma'am. Right over yonder.
497
00:24:58,129 --> 00:25:01,073
Get the directions here.
I got me to pee.
498
00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:06,638
Got to pee. Hell...
499
00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:10,112
What the...
500
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,487
Go! Drive! Drive, Olive Oil, drive!
501
00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:24,956
Put the pedal to the metal.
Get the hell outta here!
502
00:25:25,056 --> 00:25:27,526
- They're tryin' to get me!
- What did you do?
503
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:30,036
Drive! Hell, they're KKK!
504
00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:40,806
- This ain't the right address, is it?
- That's what she said.
505
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:45,143
This can't be the right address.
These people might not be friendly.
506
00:25:45,243 --> 00:25:49,848
Look, this is 2013,
and it's almost Christmas.
507
00:25:49,948 --> 00:25:51,583
Sure it'll be fine.
508
00:25:51,683 --> 00:25:54,119
Boy, did you see what I
just went through in town?
509
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,687
True.
510
00:25:55,787 --> 00:25:58,089
This just don't feel right.
511
00:25:58,189 --> 00:26:01,993
Up here in these woods,
ain't nobody around but us and trees.
512
00:26:02,093 --> 00:26:04,173
I don't like this.
Go knock on the door.
513
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:08,467
- Thanks a lot.
- What you worried about, son?
514
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,535
Somebody got to
live to tell the story.
515
00:26:10,635 --> 00:26:13,071
Tell 'em what happened to you.
Somebody got be an activist.
516
00:26:13,171 --> 00:26:15,173
Somebody got to call Sharpton.
517
00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:16,681
Never mind.
518
00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:22,362
Conner, where are you going?
519
00:26:22,462 --> 00:26:25,198
- Hey, what's going on?
- I mentioned Tanner and he lost it.
520
00:26:25,298 --> 00:26:27,768
- Conner!
- I've been waiting to see this.
521
00:26:27,868 --> 00:26:29,870
- I'm goin' with you, boy.
- Conner!
522
00:26:36,670 --> 00:26:38,004
Conner!
523
00:26:44,913 --> 00:26:48,050
- Uh-oh. Who is that?
- I told you this was the wrong address.
524
00:26:48,150 --> 00:26:49,923
We gotta go. Back up.
525
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,955
There she is! Pull up.
526
00:26:54,055 --> 00:26:55,590
We're at the right place.
527
00:26:55,690 --> 00:26:57,599
- Come on. Hurry up.
- There she is.
528
00:26:59,528 --> 00:27:02,336
- Lacey!
- Look at you.
529
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,444
Oh, my word. What are you doing here?
530
00:27:10,071 --> 00:27:13,742
I hitched a ride
with Oliver. Surprise!
531
00:27:13,842 --> 00:27:15,310
Surprise!
532
00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:17,679
- We came.
- Surprise.
533
00:27:17,779 --> 00:27:19,358
Who are you?
534
00:27:20,782 --> 00:27:22,751
I'm Conner.
535
00:27:22,851 --> 00:27:25,192
Girl, what the coroner doing here?
Who done died?
536
00:27:28,089 --> 00:27:32,433
You are the farmhand that
she hired. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
537
00:27:33,495 --> 00:27:35,097
I am Eileen, her mother.
538
00:27:35,197 --> 00:27:39,507
And this is Madea,
her great-aunt on my daddy's side.
539
00:27:41,269 --> 00:27:43,171
She sure don't look happy to see us.
540
00:27:43,271 --> 00:27:45,373
You better bite your tongue.
541
00:27:45,473 --> 00:27:48,486
She is happy to see
me anytime. Tell her.
542
00:27:51,479 --> 00:27:55,550
That don't look like happiness, honey.
That look like puredee constipation.
543
00:27:56,151 --> 00:27:57,619
Hi, Conner.
544
00:27:57,719 --> 00:27:59,087
How are ya? How ya doing?
545
00:27:59,187 --> 00:28:01,089
This handsome thing...
546
00:28:01,189 --> 00:28:03,859
this is Oliver, her boyfriend.
547
00:28:03,959 --> 00:28:05,694
Her boyfriend?
548
00:28:05,794 --> 00:28:07,931
Ex-boyfriend.
549
00:28:08,864 --> 00:28:11,566
It was nice of you to call him.
550
00:28:11,666 --> 00:28:14,269
That was a nice ruse to
get to see him. Fund-raiser.
551
00:28:14,369 --> 00:28:16,338
No, it wasn't a ruse.
552
00:28:16,438 --> 00:28:18,240
You know you miss him.
553
00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:21,209
Anyway, could you get my bags,
farmhand, please?
554
00:28:21,309 --> 00:28:23,446
- Yeah.
- I'll help.
555
00:28:24,479 --> 00:28:27,215
Lacey, come show us this farm.
556
00:28:27,315 --> 00:28:29,417
A little dusty, dusty.
557
00:28:29,517 --> 00:28:32,621
Come, my dear. I knew that.
558
00:28:32,721 --> 00:28:35,323
Baby, you know you got asthma.
559
00:28:35,423 --> 00:28:37,325
Mama, I don't have asthma anymore.
560
00:28:37,425 --> 00:28:39,628
Yeah, but you still
gotta be careful...
561
00:28:39,728 --> 00:28:42,364
because that could lead to cancer.
562
00:28:42,464 --> 00:28:44,933
Everything don't lead to cancer,
Eileen. Lord, help her.
563
00:28:45,033 --> 00:28:47,435
I'm gonna open the door.
Y'all need fresh air up in here.
564
00:28:47,535 --> 00:28:49,971
Got all these animals. This is
a nice room. I'll stay in here.
565
00:28:50,071 --> 00:28:51,439
- Good, good, good.
- Sure.
566
00:28:51,539 --> 00:28:53,975
Lacey, you do not
have a Christmas tree?
567
00:28:54,075 --> 00:28:55,544
- No, I don't.
- Oh, my God.
568
00:28:55,644 --> 00:28:58,647
- That's why you wanted me to come here.
- Yeah, that's exactly why.
569
00:28:58,747 --> 00:29:00,382
- I'm gonna take this room.
- Okay.
570
00:29:00,482 --> 00:29:01,817
- Okay?
- That's nice too.
571
00:29:01,917 --> 00:29:03,518
- That's a nice room.
- Thank you.
572
00:29:03,618 --> 00:29:06,521
- Is this one yours, Madea?
- Yeah, put it in the room on the end.
573
00:29:06,621 --> 00:29:08,223
- I'm staying down there.
- All right.
574
00:29:08,323 --> 00:29:10,058
- All right.
- Is this your room here?
575
00:29:10,158 --> 00:29:12,427
- It's my room.
- It's lovely.
576
00:29:12,527 --> 00:29:14,196
Thank you. It's not clean.
577
00:29:14,296 --> 00:29:16,398
- Okay, now where's the kitchen?
- Let's go that way.
578
00:29:16,498 --> 00:29:18,133
- It's in there. Go ahead.
- I'm comin'.
579
00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:20,101
Don't be pushing on me.
580
00:29:20,201 --> 00:29:22,537
We saw this. This is the
dining room. It's yellow.
581
00:29:22,637 --> 00:29:25,273
It's yellow. It's bright yellow!
582
00:29:25,373 --> 00:29:26,942
It's nice, Mama, huh?
583
00:29:27,042 --> 00:29:29,477
Yeah, it's not my cup
of tea, but you know.
584
00:29:29,577 --> 00:29:31,880
- Back porch and everything.
- Aunt Madea, you like it?
585
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:34,783
- Yeah, look at all the animals.
- It's very nice. Yes.
586
00:29:34,883 --> 00:29:36,852
Ask the man to bring
the groceries in.
587
00:29:36,952 --> 00:29:39,521
- They're in the trunk of the car.
- His name is Conner.
588
00:29:39,621 --> 00:29:43,391
I don't like you being up
here with him by yourself.
589
00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,894
What is Oliver supposed to think,
you living with a man?
590
00:29:45,994 --> 00:29:48,063
Why should I care what Oliver thinks?
591
00:29:48,163 --> 00:29:50,565
- You should. He still wants you.
- Mama, please.
592
00:29:50,665 --> 00:29:52,334
No, and you still want him.
593
00:29:52,434 --> 00:29:54,669
I know it. I got that feeling.
594
00:29:54,769 --> 00:29:57,239
I want some grandbabies.
What you waiting on?
595
00:29:57,339 --> 00:29:59,741
Eileen, stop meddling with that girl.
596
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:03,252
Okay? You is in everybody's business.
Just leave this child alone.
597
00:30:03,812 --> 00:30:05,981
You have been talking
since we got in the car.
598
00:30:06,081 --> 00:30:09,317
You talk too much, Eileen. Please,
just shut up for a little while here.
599
00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:11,152
Leave this child alone.
She living her life.
600
00:30:11,252 --> 00:30:14,128
She happy out here in the
farm playing Old MacDonald.
601
00:30:24,933 --> 00:30:26,568
- Any more?
- Just the groceries.
602
00:30:26,668 --> 00:30:28,136
All right.
603
00:30:28,236 --> 00:30:30,316
- Hi.
- Wow.
604
00:30:31,239 --> 00:30:33,819
- It's great to see you, Lacey.
- Yeah, you too.
605
00:30:34,542 --> 00:30:37,045
Let me put these down,
and I'll be ready to go to school.
606
00:30:37,145 --> 00:30:38,553
- Yeah.
- All right?
607
00:30:43,385 --> 00:30:46,021
So, you didn't tell me
your boyfriend was coming.
608
00:30:46,121 --> 00:30:48,390
High school. Non-factor, trust me.
609
00:30:48,490 --> 00:30:50,592
My mother... I can't believe
she just showed up.
610
00:30:50,692 --> 00:30:52,727
And your parents are on their way.
611
00:30:52,827 --> 00:30:56,298
Yep. Gonna be here right after
you get back from school.
612
00:30:56,398 --> 00:30:58,600
I know. What are we gonna do?
613
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:00,438
You better think of something.
614
00:31:01,603 --> 00:31:04,343
- Baby...
- Boyfriend.
615
00:31:06,107 --> 00:31:08,543
- Are you ready to go?
- Yes, sure.
616
00:31:08,643 --> 00:31:12,414
Hold on. Hold on. I heard
somebody say, "Go." Oh, Lord.
617
00:31:12,514 --> 00:31:14,683
Take me anywhere. I got to
get away from your mama.
618
00:31:14,783 --> 00:31:17,085
I'll go to hell and back
to get away from her.
619
00:31:17,185 --> 00:31:19,087
She talk too damn much.
Can I go with y'all?
620
00:31:19,187 --> 00:31:23,091
Okay. Maybe you can keep an eye on
my class while I go into the meeting.
621
00:31:23,191 --> 00:31:25,560
I'm sorry. Watch your class?
622
00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:27,862
She wants me to watch
her class. Children?
623
00:31:27,962 --> 00:31:29,597
Child, me and children
don't get along.
624
00:31:29,697 --> 00:31:31,199
Now, let me see.
625
00:31:31,299 --> 00:31:32,600
Ankle-biting...
626
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:34,336
disease-carrying...
627
00:31:34,436 --> 00:31:38,416
little children of God,
or your mama...
628
00:31:39,808 --> 00:31:42,510
satanic, loud-mouthed,
diarrhea woman from hell.
629
00:31:42,610 --> 00:31:44,849
I think I'll go with the children.
Praise God.
630
00:31:45,914 --> 00:31:48,450
- All right.
- I'll drop you back off on my way home.
631
00:31:48,550 --> 00:31:50,518
Okay, close your trunk, son.
Close your trunk.
632
00:31:50,618 --> 00:31:52,287
I'm gonna ride with him.
633
00:31:52,387 --> 00:31:55,657
No offense to y'all car,
'cause this a nice car.
634
00:31:55,757 --> 00:31:57,959
But this bring back memories, child.
635
00:31:58,059 --> 00:32:00,996
I got pregnant. Meat Loaf was
playing "Dashboard Light."
636
00:32:01,096 --> 00:32:04,165
I was sitting up there, and I kept
hitting my head on that steering wheel.
637
00:32:04,265 --> 00:32:06,601
It was just awful.
It was an awful time.
638
00:32:06,701 --> 00:32:09,070
Look. The door even sound the same.
639
00:32:09,170 --> 00:32:12,574
Child, this is just what it's...
Yep, that bring back memories.
640
00:32:12,674 --> 00:32:14,376
Watch this.
641
00:32:14,476 --> 00:32:16,611
That's what I used to do. Drop it.
642
00:32:16,711 --> 00:32:20,348
That car built for comfort and
built for speed, just like me.
643
00:32:20,448 --> 00:32:22,784
This a nice truck, but how
I'm s'posed to get in here?
644
00:32:22,884 --> 00:32:25,253
- Pull the seat back.
- I'll sit in the back. Hold on.
645
00:32:25,353 --> 00:32:27,789
No, you don't have to...
Yeah, just pull that back.
646
00:32:27,889 --> 00:32:30,792
You got to get some of them
things to help me get in here.
647
00:32:30,892 --> 00:32:33,561
Is there something to...
Hold on. I got it.
648
00:32:33,661 --> 00:32:35,530
Yeah, that's it. Come on in.
649
00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:37,732
Boy, you got to get a low car here.
650
00:32:39,801 --> 00:32:42,303
- You 'bout to make me mad.
- Give me your hand.
651
00:32:42,403 --> 00:32:45,882
- Now, hold on.
- All right, I got you.
652
00:32:46,908 --> 00:32:50,145
- Good morning, class.
- Good morning.
653
00:32:50,245 --> 00:32:53,915
This is my Aunt Mabel.
But everybody calls her Madea.
654
00:32:54,015 --> 00:32:56,818
I have to go to a meeting down
the hall with Ms. Porter...
655
00:32:56,918 --> 00:33:00,055
and I asked Miss Madea
to keep an eye on you.
656
00:33:00,155 --> 00:33:03,358
Now, you know what to do and
you know how to behave, right?
657
00:33:03,458 --> 00:33:04,993
Yes, ma'am.
658
00:33:05,093 --> 00:33:07,462
- I'll be right back. Thanks, Madea.
- Yeah, I love it.
659
00:33:07,562 --> 00:33:10,098
I love well-behaved children.
That's wonderful.
660
00:33:10,198 --> 00:33:11,936
Y'all look so nice.
661
00:33:17,805 --> 00:33:21,209
Hello. Hello. Now, y'all got to
go back to the Stepford children.
662
00:33:21,309 --> 00:33:24,879
Don't act like you... Don't act
like this. Now, calm the hell down.
663
00:33:24,979 --> 00:33:28,616
I'm in here. Do yourself a favor.
Do the right thing.
664
00:33:28,716 --> 00:33:31,219
- You belong in this class?
- Yes, ma'am.
665
00:33:31,319 --> 00:33:33,855
- Okay. What's your name?
- Bailey.
666
00:33:33,955 --> 00:33:35,523
Bailey? Okay. Well, go on.
667
00:33:35,623 --> 00:33:38,693
Your teacher went down the hall,
and I'm sitting in for her. Have a seat.
668
00:33:38,793 --> 00:33:40,595
You better hope she comes back.
669
00:33:40,695 --> 00:33:43,799
She's the only teacher
that likes you here.
670
00:33:47,035 --> 00:33:50,071
Don't sit by me. You are so dirty.
671
00:33:50,171 --> 00:33:52,440
Leave that boy alone. Where else
he gonna sit? Sit down, son.
672
00:33:52,540 --> 00:33:54,075
Sit down. Don't worry about her.
673
00:33:54,175 --> 00:33:57,579
Don't you ever pick on somebody just
'cause you can. Do you understand?
674
00:33:57,679 --> 00:33:59,647
They used to do that to me
when I was in kindergarten.
675
00:33:59,747 --> 00:34:02,584
'Cause I was six feet tall,
they all want to talk about me.
676
00:34:02,684 --> 00:34:05,086
I had a full figure and
curves and all that stuff.
677
00:34:05,186 --> 00:34:07,555
They wanted to make fun of me.
But I wasn't having it.
678
00:34:07,655 --> 00:34:11,292
You understand? I fought back.
That's why I got tough-skinned.
679
00:34:11,392 --> 00:34:14,162
You may have to fight back sometimes.
Do you understand?
680
00:34:14,262 --> 00:34:18,299
Don't worry about these people in
here trying to make you feel bad.
681
00:34:18,399 --> 00:34:21,269
You got to be nice to people.
Pass it on, niceness.
682
00:34:21,369 --> 00:34:23,271
- Do you understand?
- Yes, ma'am.
683
00:34:23,371 --> 00:34:27,008
All right, I'm going to write
my name on the board...
684
00:34:27,108 --> 00:34:29,745
so you all will know what my name is.
685
00:34:30,845 --> 00:34:33,050
Ain't no chalk.
Y'all ain't got no chalk?
686
00:34:33,982 --> 00:34:35,950
Ain't got no eraser either.
"No cause..."
687
00:34:36,050 --> 00:34:38,853
Okay. I don't know
what all that mean.
688
00:34:38,953 --> 00:34:42,262
All right. Well,
what we gonna do is...
689
00:34:43,258 --> 00:34:44,759
I'm gonna tell y'all a story.
690
00:34:44,859 --> 00:34:48,496
This is the story of Christmas.
Christmas.
691
00:34:48,596 --> 00:34:53,001
This is what I learned when I
went to school... Sunday school.
692
00:34:53,101 --> 00:34:57,411
This is the story of the nativities.
693
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,177
Little baby Jesus was born.
694
00:35:02,277 --> 00:35:04,857
He was born to the Virgin Mary...
695
00:35:05,780 --> 00:35:09,717
J. Blige, and as Mary was on tour...
696
00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,619
she met this man named Joe...
697
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,688
Manganiello, who played a werewolf.
698
00:35:13,788 --> 00:35:16,391
And he was in love with her.
She said, "Joe.
699
00:35:16,491 --> 00:35:18,826
I am thou-ist with the child-ist.
700
00:35:18,926 --> 00:35:21,696
And the holiness is come upon me...
701
00:35:21,796 --> 00:35:24,206
and I'm going to have a baby-ist."
702
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,003
And Joe said, "Really?"
703
00:35:29,103 --> 00:35:31,172
They ain't know what to do.
704
00:35:31,272 --> 00:35:33,241
So he went on and stayed with her...
705
00:35:33,341 --> 00:35:36,711
and they went on 'cause they
was expecting the holy child.
706
00:35:36,811 --> 00:35:38,279
That's right.
707
00:35:38,379 --> 00:35:42,784
And the Bible say in
second "Deuteronomo"...
708
00:35:42,884 --> 00:35:47,889
that when he came to the earth...
709
00:35:47,989 --> 00:35:51,726
he came through the Virgin...
piña colada.
710
00:35:51,826 --> 00:35:53,795
And as she was there...
711
00:35:53,895 --> 00:35:56,831
they were trying to find
somewhere to have the baby...
712
00:35:56,931 --> 00:36:00,668
but they kept going to all these hotels,
and wouldn't none of 'em let them in.
713
00:36:00,768 --> 00:36:02,704
Marriott. Shut the door.
714
00:36:02,804 --> 00:36:04,939
Hilton. Shut the door.
715
00:36:05,039 --> 00:36:07,675
Tried to get to the Ritz-Carlton,
they said, "You don't belong here."
716
00:36:07,775 --> 00:36:10,745
Everybody just got put out.
They went to the Motel 6.
717
00:36:10,845 --> 00:36:14,449
They didn't even leave the light
on for her. She was in the dark.
718
00:36:15,516 --> 00:36:18,019
Anyway, there was Mary...
719
00:36:18,119 --> 00:36:20,788
'bout to have that baby,
so she sat down at a bus stop.
720
00:36:20,888 --> 00:36:22,890
MARTA bus passed by,
wouldn't even pick her up...
721
00:36:22,990 --> 00:36:25,760
to take her to the holy
city of Birmingham.
722
00:36:25,860 --> 00:36:29,831
And as she sat there,
she went into laborer.
723
00:36:29,931 --> 00:36:32,000
And as she started laboring...
724
00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:34,068
a mangy dog walked up beside her.
725
00:36:34,168 --> 00:36:37,639
See, God will send you a dog when
you need it, even if you don't.
726
00:36:37,739 --> 00:36:39,707
And that dog said,
"What's wrong with you?"
727
00:36:39,807 --> 00:36:43,611
And as she sat there,
she had that baby...
728
00:36:43,711 --> 00:36:46,681
and that baby came
next to that mangy dog.
729
00:36:46,781 --> 00:36:49,984
That's why they say he
was born in a mangy.
730
00:36:50,084 --> 00:36:52,220
Hallelujah. Let the Lord use ya.
731
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,356
Okay, that's the story of the baby Jesus.
That's the hip-hop version.
732
00:36:55,456 --> 00:36:58,901
I'm glad I went to church
and to Sunday school. Okay.
733
00:37:00,061 --> 00:37:02,072
Where my purse?
734
00:37:03,865 --> 00:37:05,876
Where my purse?
735
00:37:07,368 --> 00:37:09,270
Y'all ain't seen what
happened to my purse?
736
00:37:09,370 --> 00:37:11,005
I'm gonna tell y'all another story.
737
00:37:11,105 --> 00:37:13,241
This is the story of Easter Sunday.
738
00:37:13,341 --> 00:37:16,144
Jesus was hanging
between two thieves.
739
00:37:16,244 --> 00:37:18,746
One was Baranibus and the
other was the Dinosaurus.
740
00:37:18,846 --> 00:37:20,983
Somebody better find
my purse right now.
741
00:37:23,017 --> 00:37:26,087
- All we have to do is sign that thing?
- Yes.
742
00:37:26,187 --> 00:37:28,456
Lacey told me you needed
the money right away.
743
00:37:28,556 --> 00:37:31,192
So I spoke with my boss and
got the money in advance.
744
00:37:31,292 --> 00:37:33,372
We're both very sure we'll
get the sponsorship.
745
00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:35,863
What's in it for you?
746
00:37:35,963 --> 00:37:39,400
Well, my company gets paid a
10% commission by the company.
747
00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:41,469
You get the entire 100 grand.
748
00:37:41,569 --> 00:37:44,305
It will help us with the shortfall.
749
00:37:44,405 --> 00:37:46,841
- Is everything okay, Wilbur?
- Yes, Your Honor.
750
00:37:46,941 --> 00:37:50,022
It's good. It is good.
751
00:37:50,545 --> 00:37:52,625
All right then. Let's do this.
752
00:37:59,053 --> 00:38:01,622
Wonderful. Here you go.
753
00:38:01,722 --> 00:38:04,826
Now, we'll bring the sponsors down
to the Jubilee for a photo op.
754
00:38:04,926 --> 00:38:07,563
- That's all we ask.
- Of course.
755
00:38:08,496 --> 00:38:09,964
- Thank you, son.
- You got it.
756
00:38:10,064 --> 00:38:11,632
Thank you so much.
757
00:38:11,732 --> 00:38:13,968
You have no idea how
much we needed this.
758
00:38:14,068 --> 00:38:16,170
- It's my pleasure.
- Lacey.
759
00:38:16,270 --> 00:38:19,351
- Thank you.
- This is my town too.
760
00:38:20,274 --> 00:38:21,853
Glad I can help.
761
00:38:23,077 --> 00:38:24,412
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
762
00:38:24,512 --> 00:38:26,091
After you.
763
00:38:27,582 --> 00:38:29,050
There you go.
764
00:38:29,150 --> 00:38:32,060
You have no clue how much
you've just helped us. I mean...
765
00:38:32,653 --> 00:38:35,734
It was my pleasure.
I'm glad I could help.
766
00:38:37,325 --> 00:38:39,660
- Thank you again.
- You got it.
767
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,963
- Here.
- What's this?
768
00:38:42,063 --> 00:38:44,732
- It's your Christmas present.
- No. I can't take that.
769
00:38:44,832 --> 00:38:47,268
- Sure you can.
- I really can't.
770
00:38:47,368 --> 00:38:49,778
You've already done
enough for us. Thank you.
771
00:38:53,941 --> 00:38:55,243
What are you doing?
772
00:38:55,343 --> 00:38:57,548
Your mother told me she
thought you missed me.
773
00:38:59,213 --> 00:39:02,884
Look, I know we were children,
but I think about you still.
774
00:39:02,984 --> 00:39:04,886
Listen, Oliver,
that was a long time ago...
775
00:39:04,986 --> 00:39:07,355
- and I actually have to tell you...
- Lacey!
776
00:39:07,455 --> 00:39:09,690
- Get in here. Quick!
- Excuse me.
777
00:39:09,790 --> 00:39:11,369
Hurry!
778
00:39:11,959 --> 00:39:13,594
There's a weird woman in here.
779
00:39:13,694 --> 00:39:15,730
What they did back in the day...
780
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:17,198
Lacey, who is this?
781
00:39:17,298 --> 00:39:19,634
- My aunt Madea.
- Hi.
782
00:39:19,734 --> 00:39:21,068
What are you doing?
783
00:39:21,168 --> 00:39:24,272
I was just teaching these
children a lesson on Jesus...
784
00:39:24,372 --> 00:39:26,808
from the time he was born
until the time he died on Earth.
785
00:39:26,908 --> 00:39:29,444
She tried to steal my purse, but I
taught her a lesson. Here you go.
786
00:39:29,544 --> 00:39:32,980
Now you have been crowned
the Christmas... Praise. Hallelujah.
787
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,416
- I got her, didn't I? I got her, Bailey.
- Yes, ma'am.
788
00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:38,553
'Scuse me. Oliver, take me to the house.
I'm getting the hell outta here.
789
00:39:38,653 --> 00:39:40,455
We'll talk when I get
back for the Jubilee.
790
00:39:40,555 --> 00:39:43,727
Lucy. How do you even...
How did she...
791
00:39:47,061 --> 00:39:49,141
That's a nice-lookin' tree.
792
00:40:08,549 --> 00:40:10,017
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
793
00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:12,119
- Are they here yet?
- Nope.
794
00:40:12,219 --> 00:40:14,789
I rushed home. How's my mother?
795
00:40:14,889 --> 00:40:17,291
I don't know. She only
said two words to me.
796
00:40:17,391 --> 00:40:19,227
You think of how you're
gonna handle this yet?
797
00:40:19,327 --> 00:40:21,162
No. Were you able to
talk to your parents?
798
00:40:21,262 --> 00:40:22,841
Nope, no cell phone.
799
00:40:24,932 --> 00:40:27,672
Guess I'll have to talk to
'em now 'cause they're here.
800
00:40:29,770 --> 00:40:31,739
- Hey, hey!
- Hi, y'all!
801
00:40:31,839 --> 00:40:33,708
Hey, hey! Look at you!
802
00:40:33,808 --> 00:40:35,615
Don't you go nowhere.
803
00:40:36,877 --> 00:40:38,513
I'm gonna get your mama.
804
00:40:38,613 --> 00:40:41,349
- I look all right?
- Yeah, you look great.
805
00:40:41,449 --> 00:40:43,484
- Son! Son!
- Mama! Daddy!
806
00:40:43,584 --> 00:40:45,288
Look at you!
807
00:40:45,886 --> 00:40:47,624
Daddy, not the bear hug!
808
00:40:48,923 --> 00:40:50,892
Your old man still got it, don't he?
809
00:40:50,992 --> 00:40:53,361
Look at my Grizzly Adams.
810
00:40:53,461 --> 00:40:56,838
Look at you. You look
like a mountain man.
811
00:40:57,632 --> 00:41:00,701
Hey, Son, see this? This ain't fat.
This is all foreskin.
812
00:41:00,801 --> 00:41:02,870
Buddy, stop. Don't start so early.
813
00:41:02,970 --> 00:41:04,705
- You must be Lacey.
- Yes.
814
00:41:04,805 --> 00:41:06,374
Look at you!
815
00:41:06,474 --> 00:41:08,109
- Oh, my!
- You put her down.
816
00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:10,845
You don't gotta break
her and snap her neck.
817
00:41:10,945 --> 00:41:13,114
Just give him a little nudge
to the flapjacks there.
818
00:41:13,214 --> 00:41:16,183
He'll put you down.
Where are my manners?
819
00:41:16,283 --> 00:41:19,353
I am Conner's mama.
Please call me Mrs. Williams.
820
00:41:19,453 --> 00:41:21,856
- Hi.
- I kiddin'! You...
821
00:41:21,956 --> 00:41:25,003
Call me Kim or Mama.
Just don't call me late for dinner.
822
00:41:25,526 --> 00:41:26,994
I'm joshing you.
823
00:41:27,094 --> 00:41:29,397
- Look how pretty. She's very pretty.
- Thank you.
824
00:41:29,497 --> 00:41:32,066
She is even more beautiful than
I ever could have imagined.
825
00:41:32,166 --> 00:41:34,201
Thank you.
826
00:41:34,301 --> 00:41:37,004
So nice to finally meet you.
827
00:41:37,104 --> 00:41:38,573
You too.
828
00:41:38,673 --> 00:41:40,141
Look at this place.
829
00:41:40,241 --> 00:41:42,577
It is beautiful.
This place is stupendous.
830
00:41:42,677 --> 00:41:45,947
My mama and daddy...
Sorry. I'm sorry.
831
00:41:46,047 --> 00:41:48,449
They just would've been
so proud. Thank you.
832
00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:50,185
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Mama.
833
00:41:50,951 --> 00:41:53,220
I was so upset when I
heard you two eloped.
834
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,723
I thought maybe you'd
come down to Louisiana...
835
00:41:55,823 --> 00:41:58,559
and went up the bayou for the
Swamp Manor to get hitched.
836
00:41:58,659 --> 00:42:01,929
We would have thrown you
such a shindig. You know that.
837
00:42:02,029 --> 00:42:03,998
Hey, I'm glad y'all did elope.
838
00:42:04,098 --> 00:42:06,400
You done saved me
an assload of money.
839
00:42:06,500 --> 00:42:07,969
So I appreciate it.
840
00:42:08,069 --> 00:42:10,204
Well, you've spent enough
money on me already, Daddy.
841
00:42:10,304 --> 00:42:12,607
- I'm glad you recognize that.
- Honey, we love you.
842
00:42:12,707 --> 00:42:14,742
Anything you want, my son. Anything.
843
00:42:14,842 --> 00:42:16,077
Well...
844
00:42:16,177 --> 00:42:17,813
Have you two eaten?
845
00:42:19,547 --> 00:42:21,627
No, but...
846
00:42:22,583 --> 00:42:24,485
Good, 'cause I caught
Christmas dinner.
847
00:42:24,585 --> 00:42:25,987
Caught?
848
00:42:26,087 --> 00:42:30,260
We are gonna have hot possum potpie.
I'm gonna make it.
849
00:42:30,925 --> 00:42:32,927
It's good. Nice flaky crust.
850
00:42:33,027 --> 00:42:34,495
Gonna have possum stew...
851
00:42:34,595 --> 00:42:37,131
and your uncle DeWayne done
got me some white lightning.
852
00:42:37,231 --> 00:42:39,367
Here, let me take this, Daddy.
853
00:42:39,467 --> 00:42:41,969
Actually, Lacey's a vegetarian.
854
00:42:42,069 --> 00:42:45,039
She's a vegetarianist? On a farm.
855
00:42:45,139 --> 00:42:47,108
- Honey, that must be hard.
- That don't mean nothing.
856
00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:50,645
We's Baptist, and we still like a
nice possum stew every now and then.
857
00:42:50,745 --> 00:42:53,848
No, Buddy. It means
she doesn't eat meat.
858
00:42:53,948 --> 00:42:57,118
- She doesn't eat meat.
- Oh, you're a tofu farter.
859
00:42:57,218 --> 00:42:59,186
- Daddy.
- Ain't nothing wrong with that.
860
00:42:59,286 --> 00:43:01,455
I like tofu farters. God bless you.
861
00:43:01,555 --> 00:43:03,524
All I'm saying, Son,
if she don't eat meat...
862
00:43:03,624 --> 00:43:07,171
that might be a bad thing when it
comes to certain parts of the anatomy.
863
00:43:07,762 --> 00:43:11,098
Mama, can you please... I'm sorry.
864
00:43:11,198 --> 00:43:13,000
We just met her. Now, stop.
865
00:43:13,100 --> 00:43:15,536
- Start slow, all right?
- I was just kidding.
866
00:43:15,636 --> 00:43:17,104
I'm sorry. He's crazy.
867
00:43:17,204 --> 00:43:19,273
What are we doing standing
out here getting all dusty?
868
00:43:19,373 --> 00:43:22,510
Let's go inside and get
our meal on. I'm starvin'.
869
00:43:22,610 --> 00:43:25,479
I brought you some spices
from your Aunt Tutu's garden.
870
00:43:25,579 --> 00:43:27,048
- Okay. Mama...
- You're gonna love 'em.
871
00:43:27,148 --> 00:43:29,784
- Let me go get that.
- Hang on, y'all.
872
00:43:29,884 --> 00:43:32,362
Lacey's mama is cookin'.
873
00:43:32,787 --> 00:43:34,755
Lacey's ma... She's here?
874
00:43:34,855 --> 00:43:36,290
- Your mama's here now?
- Yes.
875
00:43:36,390 --> 00:43:38,793
- Her mama is here, Buddy.
- Hey, hey! All right.
876
00:43:38,893 --> 00:43:40,628
Looks like we get
to meet the in-laws.
877
00:43:40,728 --> 00:43:42,997
Actually, we kind of have a problem.
878
00:43:43,097 --> 00:43:44,365
What's the problem?
879
00:43:44,465 --> 00:43:46,670
Lacey hadn't told her
mama that we're married.
880
00:43:47,268 --> 00:43:49,370
- What?
- Why ain't you told her?
881
00:43:49,470 --> 00:43:50,638
Well...
882
00:43:50,738 --> 00:43:53,307
my mother had dreams
for my entire life...
883
00:43:53,407 --> 00:43:56,488
and Conner was not in that dream.
884
00:43:58,879 --> 00:44:00,347
I'm sorry. I do...
885
00:44:00,447 --> 00:44:03,417
- I don't understand.
- I think I do. Let me ask you something.
886
00:44:03,517 --> 00:44:06,791
When she had them dreams,
was they in color or black-and-white?
887
00:44:11,192 --> 00:44:13,329
She doesn't want you
with a white man.
888
00:44:15,996 --> 00:44:18,332
I'm sorry. That's awful.
889
00:44:18,432 --> 00:44:20,401
Honey, we taught
all of our children...
890
00:44:20,501 --> 00:44:22,670
"Never see color. Only see heart."
891
00:44:22,770 --> 00:44:26,073
- Isn't that right, Conner?
- That's right.
892
00:44:26,173 --> 00:44:29,777
It's such a shame she does not
know what kind of person you are.
893
00:44:30,611 --> 00:44:32,379
I'll tell you who he is.
894
00:44:32,479 --> 00:44:34,949
Always taught him to
look at a woman's heart.
895
00:44:35,049 --> 00:44:37,118
'Cause that's where their rack hangs.
896
00:44:37,218 --> 00:44:38,385
Daddy.
897
00:44:38,485 --> 00:44:40,621
I'm just kiddin'.
She got a nice rack.
898
00:44:40,721 --> 00:44:42,456
Your mama used to have a nice rack.
899
00:44:42,556 --> 00:44:45,659
Now she bends over, just looks
like she's got a 7-10 split.
900
00:44:45,759 --> 00:44:48,195
- What the hell does that mean?
- It's a bowling term.
901
00:44:48,295 --> 00:44:50,498
- I don't like that, Daddy.
- I don't either.
902
00:44:50,598 --> 00:44:53,934
I'm just kiddin'. I still like to go to
the bowling alley every now and then.
903
00:44:54,034 --> 00:44:56,170
- You're sexy to me.
- Will you hush?
904
00:44:56,270 --> 00:44:58,973
I'm gonna start talking about
all your wrinkly, saggy parts.
905
00:44:59,073 --> 00:45:02,211
- It's like a turkey giblet in there.
- That was over the line.
906
00:45:03,711 --> 00:45:06,883
Well, honey, Conner,
who does she think you are?
907
00:45:07,481 --> 00:45:09,219
She thinks I'm the farm help.
908
00:45:10,150 --> 00:45:12,787
- Well, there's a switcheroo.
- The farm help.
909
00:45:12,887 --> 00:45:15,456
Do you think we should leave?
I think we should maybe leave.
910
00:45:15,556 --> 00:45:18,359
I ain't goin' nowhere.
Hell, I just drove up here.
911
00:45:18,459 --> 00:45:21,395
- I am tired. I want a beer.
- I don't want you guys to leave.
912
00:45:21,495 --> 00:45:23,939
Well, what should we do?
913
00:45:25,165 --> 00:45:27,201
Can you give me
some time to tell her?
914
00:45:27,301 --> 00:45:31,105
I mean, I have to break it to
her gently. She's been very sick.
915
00:45:31,205 --> 00:45:33,407
- Oh, no.
- I'm so sorry.
916
00:45:33,507 --> 00:45:35,910
- What's wrong?
- She has a weak heart.
917
00:45:36,010 --> 00:45:38,145
Then by all means, you just...
918
00:45:38,245 --> 00:45:40,481
take your time and tell
her when you're ready.
919
00:45:40,581 --> 00:45:42,416
- Thank you.
- Okay.
920
00:45:42,516 --> 00:45:45,219
We don't want her ticker
to tock out on you here.
921
00:45:45,319 --> 00:45:47,087
- We'll behave ourselves.
- Yeah.
922
00:45:47,187 --> 00:45:48,923
- You know what we'll be?
- What?
923
00:45:49,023 --> 00:45:51,525
- Parents of the help.
- That's right. Parents of the help.
924
00:45:51,625 --> 00:45:54,562
- "Can I get you something?"
- Let's head in.
925
00:45:54,662 --> 00:45:56,964
- Come on.
- Daddy, behave.
926
00:45:57,064 --> 00:45:59,867
I'll behave. Like a bull in a rodeo.
927
00:45:59,967 --> 00:46:02,670
- Did you paint this? This is fabulous.
- I started.
928
00:46:02,770 --> 00:46:04,672
- Still needs some work.
- Where you at?
929
00:46:04,772 --> 00:46:06,774
I bet this house run them
in the double figures.
930
00:46:06,874 --> 00:46:08,242
- Hey, Madea.
- Hey!
931
00:46:08,342 --> 00:46:10,344
- This is my mama, Kim.
- How you doin'?
932
00:46:10,444 --> 00:46:12,346
- Good to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Medium.
933
00:46:12,446 --> 00:46:14,281
And this is my daddy, Buddy.
934
00:46:14,381 --> 00:46:16,083
- Nice to meet you.
- How you doin', Buddy?
935
00:46:16,183 --> 00:46:18,552
- I'm doing well.
- I see y'all brought a bag.
936
00:46:18,652 --> 00:46:20,231
No, that's just my wife.
937
00:46:20,988 --> 00:46:24,358
Forgive my husband. He is
just a horse's ass and a half.
938
00:46:24,458 --> 00:46:27,361
- Wait. I smell cookin'.
- Yeah, that's Eileen.
939
00:46:27,461 --> 00:46:29,496
- Her mama was up in there cooking.
- Where is she?
940
00:46:29,596 --> 00:46:31,799
She was in the kitchen,
but she went to the backyard.
941
00:46:31,899 --> 00:46:33,734
Come on. Sit down. Take a load off.
942
00:46:33,834 --> 00:46:36,470
Take a load off. Y'all sit a spell.
943
00:46:36,570 --> 00:46:39,640
- Y'all want something to drink?
- I believe I'll have something.
944
00:46:39,740 --> 00:46:41,642
I like you. You're a nice lady.
945
00:46:41,742 --> 00:46:43,711
Don't be flirting with me
in front of your wife.
946
00:46:43,811 --> 00:46:46,585
If I put this thing on,
you won't be able to get rid of it.
947
00:46:47,514 --> 00:46:49,884
I'll have him pay my rent,
car note and everything else.
948
00:46:49,984 --> 00:46:51,654
I'm from the old school.
949
00:46:52,586 --> 00:46:54,388
Believe me, he can't help it.
950
00:46:54,488 --> 00:46:56,991
And if you can stand him,
you're welcome to him, right?
951
00:46:57,091 --> 00:46:59,360
- Hey, Conner, get me a beer.
- Yes, sir.
952
00:46:59,460 --> 00:47:00,928
Well, Miss Madea...
953
00:47:01,028 --> 00:47:03,998
looks like we're gonna be spending
Christmas dinner together this year...
954
00:47:04,098 --> 00:47:05,566
but don't you worry.
955
00:47:05,666 --> 00:47:07,837
We could care less you're black.
956
00:47:10,037 --> 00:47:12,072
"African-American," Buddy.
957
00:47:12,172 --> 00:47:15,075
Right, whatever. African-American.
958
00:47:15,175 --> 00:47:17,478
That's all right. I don't care
that y'all are white America...
959
00:47:17,578 --> 00:47:19,914
Angro... Angrola-Saxons...
Saxophonists.
960
00:47:20,014 --> 00:47:23,254
I don't care. That don't matter at
all that y'all Anglo-Saxophonists.
961
00:47:24,018 --> 00:47:25,519
I like her.
962
00:47:25,619 --> 00:47:28,055
She's got a good sense of humor
and those big, sturdy feet.
963
00:47:28,155 --> 00:47:31,392
You need a good sense of
humor with this group in here.
964
00:47:31,492 --> 00:47:33,961
- Here, Daddy, beer. Drink up.
- Appreciate it.
965
00:47:34,061 --> 00:47:37,231
- Please, drink up.
- I'll tell you what, Son.
966
00:47:37,331 --> 00:47:39,667
That last girl you with
was so dadgum ugly...
967
00:47:39,767 --> 00:47:41,869
my dog humped her leg
and shut his eyeballs.
968
00:47:41,969 --> 00:47:44,709
Oh, stop it. He's awful!
969
00:47:45,706 --> 00:47:49,576
"He shut his eyeballs." That's ugly.
970
00:47:49,676 --> 00:47:53,280
Please forgive my husband.
He is a wannabe comedian.
971
00:47:53,380 --> 00:47:54,848
You are no Jeff Foxworthy.
972
00:47:54,948 --> 00:47:57,484
Well, I try to be,
but who can? Who can?
973
00:47:57,584 --> 00:48:00,754
Did you hear the one about the
two rabbis and the black dude?
974
00:48:00,854 --> 00:48:02,589
- Daddy.
- No.
975
00:48:02,689 --> 00:48:05,159
Did you hear the one about the
stray bullet that killed the redneck...
976
00:48:05,259 --> 00:48:07,461
for telling the story about the
rabbis and the black dude?
977
00:48:07,561 --> 00:48:09,140
It's hilarious!
978
00:48:10,531 --> 00:48:12,800
I got him, didn't I? I got him.
979
00:48:12,900 --> 00:48:15,844
- Y'all get your ass shot.
- I like her. I do.
980
00:48:16,837 --> 00:48:19,042
I do too. She likes to hang.
981
00:48:20,641 --> 00:48:22,609
No, ain't gonna be no
hanging around here now.
982
00:48:22,709 --> 00:48:24,745
No, he didn't mean that.
He meant that...
983
00:48:24,845 --> 00:48:27,548
You calm the hell down?
You are so politically correct.
984
00:48:27,648 --> 00:48:29,450
They're having fun.
I'm having fun too.
985
00:48:29,550 --> 00:48:31,926
I wasn't offended.
Hell, I got a pistol.
986
00:48:32,853 --> 00:48:35,189
I knew she knew that.
Let me ask you this.
987
00:48:35,289 --> 00:48:36,757
Do you know Oprah?
988
00:48:36,857 --> 00:48:38,659
Honey, I told you...
989
00:48:38,759 --> 00:48:41,161
all black folk don't
necessarily know each other.
990
00:48:41,261 --> 00:48:46,300
- Could've fooled me.
- Do I look like Paul Bunyan or what?
991
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:50,414
Actually, you sure in the hell do.
And the Jolly Green Giant too. Ho-ho-ho.
992
00:48:51,071 --> 00:48:53,741
- Farmhand, please help me.
- His name is Conner.
993
00:48:53,841 --> 00:48:54,875
Whew!
994
00:48:54,975 --> 00:48:57,011
I think the tree...
995
00:48:57,111 --> 00:48:59,079
would look good right here.
996
00:48:59,179 --> 00:49:01,348
If you don't mind me butting in...
997
00:49:01,448 --> 00:49:04,785
I think it would look really
pretty right here by the window...
998
00:49:04,885 --> 00:49:07,554
and that way all the
passersby can enjoy it.
999
00:49:07,654 --> 00:49:10,224
That's where we had it every year.
1000
00:49:10,324 --> 00:49:12,793
- And who are you?
- That's a pretty tree.
1001
00:49:12,893 --> 00:49:15,062
I am... I'm Conner's mom.
1002
00:49:15,162 --> 00:49:18,641
That's Kim and that's Buddy.
These are Coroner's parents.
1003
00:49:19,700 --> 00:49:22,903
This is Eileen. I wanna scream.
I mean, Eileen.
1004
00:49:23,003 --> 00:49:27,975
Trees are for the family,
not for strangers.
1005
00:49:28,075 --> 00:49:30,077
What the hell these
people doing here?
1006
00:49:30,177 --> 00:49:33,258
Mama, they came to visit
Conner for Christmas.
1007
00:49:34,381 --> 00:49:39,353
Really? That is just
like my daughter.
1008
00:49:39,453 --> 00:49:41,055
I raised you right.
1009
00:49:41,155 --> 00:49:45,592
My daughter has always been
good with helping the help.
1010
00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:47,728
Yes.
1011
00:49:47,828 --> 00:49:50,531
- Where you staying?
- We're thinking of staying here.
1012
00:49:50,631 --> 00:49:53,267
Yeah. We drove all the
way up from Louisiana...
1013
00:49:53,367 --> 00:49:56,004
to spend Christmas
with Conner and Lacey.
1014
00:49:57,004 --> 00:49:59,914
It'll be a little cramped...
1015
00:50:00,674 --> 00:50:02,412
but we'll make do.
1016
00:50:04,311 --> 00:50:07,081
Madea and I will share a room.
1017
00:50:07,181 --> 00:50:09,383
You, Buddy and...
1018
00:50:09,483 --> 00:50:10,551
Kim.
1019
00:50:10,651 --> 00:50:12,920
Kim, take another room...
1020
00:50:13,020 --> 00:50:14,855
- and Carver...
- Conner.
1021
00:50:14,955 --> 00:50:16,256
- That's what I said.
- Conner.
1022
00:50:16,356 --> 00:50:18,868
Yes, Carver, you can take the sofa.
1023
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,329
Let me get some decorations.
1024
00:50:22,429 --> 00:50:24,932
Okay. I just...
1025
00:50:25,032 --> 00:50:28,402
So many memories just coming
back to me bein' here.
1026
00:50:28,502 --> 00:50:32,473
To tell you, Lacey, my mama,
she loved this place. She did.
1027
00:50:32,573 --> 00:50:35,542
I'm so happy you all came
back here to take care of it.
1028
00:50:35,642 --> 00:50:37,050
Welcome.
1029
00:50:37,978 --> 00:50:40,114
Well, my daughter's
paying the mortgage...
1030
00:50:40,214 --> 00:50:42,449
so I hope you bring
in a crop this year.
1031
00:50:42,549 --> 00:50:44,952
I told you not to buy this farm.
1032
00:50:45,052 --> 00:50:48,989
That dam up north caused a lot of
problems this year for the farmers.
1033
00:50:49,089 --> 00:50:52,693
But Conner, he's got him a new
strain of corn that takes less water.
1034
00:50:52,793 --> 00:50:54,428
Now, how's that work, Conner?
1035
00:50:54,528 --> 00:50:57,998
I studied agriculture
at New York State.
1036
00:50:58,098 --> 00:50:59,633
Is that where you two met?
1037
00:50:59,733 --> 00:51:01,368
Yeah. He's brilliant.
1038
00:51:01,468 --> 00:51:04,271
Gets it from his old man.
Runs in the genes.
1039
00:51:04,371 --> 00:51:07,641
At the science of it,
not so much the farming.
1040
00:51:07,741 --> 00:51:11,011
So genius, little Einstein,
little Stephen Hawkins.
1041
00:51:11,111 --> 00:51:14,114
We used to call him
"Smarty Britches" when he was little.
1042
00:51:14,214 --> 00:51:17,951
If you put some Viagra in that
tree's water, it'll stay up all year.
1043
00:51:18,051 --> 00:51:21,860
You better put some Viagra in your water.
See what happen with your tree.
1044
00:51:25,192 --> 00:51:28,529
- All right, let's decorate.
- No, thank you. I can manage.
1045
00:51:28,629 --> 00:51:31,431
I brought some decorations
from Atlanta...
1046
00:51:31,531 --> 00:51:33,867
and I work at one of the
finest department stores...
1047
00:51:33,967 --> 00:51:36,203
so I know a thing or two about taste.
1048
00:51:36,303 --> 00:51:37,882
Where...
1049
00:51:38,305 --> 00:51:40,274
Where did you get this tree?
1050
00:51:40,374 --> 00:51:42,509
I mean, you have a beautiful
Christmas tree...
1051
00:51:42,609 --> 00:51:46,122
right outside the kitchen
window and none in the house.
1052
00:51:48,315 --> 00:51:49,894
What's wrong?
1053
00:51:50,484 --> 00:51:52,553
Please don't tell me that's
your granddaddy's tree.
1054
00:51:52,653 --> 00:51:54,154
Oh, dear God.
1055
00:51:54,254 --> 00:51:57,324
Mama, was there a yellow ribbon
wrapped around that tree?
1056
00:51:57,424 --> 00:51:59,265
Yes, and I cut it off.
1057
00:52:00,761 --> 00:52:03,130
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1058
00:52:03,230 --> 00:52:04,934
What happened? What?
1059
00:52:05,932 --> 00:52:07,968
My mama planted that tree...
1060
00:52:08,068 --> 00:52:10,546
in memory of my granddaddy.
1061
00:52:14,641 --> 00:52:16,843
Well, how was I
supposed to know that?
1062
00:52:16,943 --> 00:52:18,679
This doesn't make any sense. Lacey.
1063
00:52:18,779 --> 00:52:22,716
Did these people come
when you bought this land?
1064
00:52:22,816 --> 00:52:26,693
This is your land now.
You can do what you want to with it.
1065
00:52:27,354 --> 00:52:29,089
Excuse me.
1066
00:52:29,189 --> 00:52:30,657
You don't look so good.
1067
00:52:30,757 --> 00:52:32,993
Feeling a little light-headed.
1068
00:52:33,093 --> 00:52:34,995
Well, sit down then. Sit down.
1069
00:52:35,095 --> 00:52:36,503
Okay.
1070
00:52:38,332 --> 00:52:41,068
It's all these strange people
in this house, that's what it is.
1071
00:52:41,168 --> 00:52:43,270
It ain't them people,
it's you! Hell, you!
1072
00:52:43,370 --> 00:52:46,440
You lost your damn mind.
You done lost your damn mind!
1073
00:52:46,540 --> 00:52:50,210
Anytime you see somebody with a
yellow ribbon on the tree, Eileen...
1074
00:52:50,310 --> 00:52:52,946
a yellow ribbon,
that means a memoriam.
1075
00:52:53,046 --> 00:52:54,248
Don't you know what that means?
1076
00:52:54,348 --> 00:52:56,717
Everybody in the USA knows
what a memoriam is...
1077
00:52:56,817 --> 00:52:58,819
when you see a yellow
ribbon on a damn tree.
1078
00:52:58,919 --> 00:53:00,487
You work on my nerves.
1079
00:53:00,587 --> 00:53:03,890
That poor woman is probably crying
'cause you cut down her daddy's tree.
1080
00:53:03,990 --> 00:53:05,959
What wrong with you,
cutting down her daddy's tree?
1081
00:53:06,059 --> 00:53:08,128
You know what's gonna happen?
I'm gonna make this plain.
1082
00:53:08,228 --> 00:53:10,130
You're gonna go to bed,
slip into a coma...
1083
00:53:10,230 --> 00:53:11,965
and everybody gonna wonder
what happened to you.
1084
00:53:12,065 --> 00:53:14,635
I did it. It's Christmas, damn it!
1085
00:53:14,735 --> 00:53:17,671
I don't know, Buddy.
I don't think I can deal with this.
1086
00:53:17,771 --> 00:53:20,107
I don't like it. It's wrong.
1087
00:53:20,207 --> 00:53:24,211
I can't pretend to be somebody.
I'm not an actress. I'm not Reba.
1088
00:53:24,311 --> 00:53:27,080
Maybe we should just leave.
Let's pack up and leave tomorrow.
1089
00:53:27,180 --> 00:53:29,082
No, we're not going back home.
We're staying here.
1090
00:53:29,182 --> 00:53:30,751
- It's Christmas.
- And that woman...
1091
00:53:30,851 --> 00:53:34,655
she cuts down my daddy's memory tree
and acts like she doesn't even care!
1092
00:53:34,755 --> 00:53:36,723
Honey, I know. It stinks. I get it.
1093
00:53:36,823 --> 00:53:38,792
You know what?
We'll get you another tree.
1094
00:53:38,892 --> 00:53:41,928
I want that tree. I want my
daddy's tree. What about our son?
1095
00:53:42,028 --> 00:53:44,598
Conner just stands there and doesn't
say anything back to this woman.
1096
00:53:44,698 --> 00:53:47,668
He's just pretending,
just saying nothin' to this woman.
1097
00:53:47,768 --> 00:53:51,538
Sweetheart, you know our kid.
He can't tell no to anybody.
1098
00:53:51,638 --> 00:53:53,106
Let him figure it out.
1099
00:53:53,206 --> 00:53:54,941
- You want some of this?
- No, not now.
1100
00:53:55,041 --> 00:53:58,178
- You know you want some of this.
- I don't. It's too much for me.
1101
00:53:58,278 --> 00:54:00,180
Remember that game we
played when we was kids?
1102
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:02,249
- Mystery Date?
- No, the Ghost and the Damsel.
1103
00:54:02,349 --> 00:54:04,318
- You remember that?
- Buddy Williams...
1104
00:54:04,418 --> 00:54:07,454
We are not playing... This is not the
time or the place. Don't you dare.
1105
00:54:07,554 --> 00:54:09,823
Go take a cold shower
and get off of me.
1106
00:54:09,923 --> 00:54:11,792
Go throw some milk on that thing.
1107
00:54:11,892 --> 00:54:14,472
I think I left my bag in...
1108
00:54:15,429 --> 00:54:17,509
one of my bags here.
1109
00:54:23,003 --> 00:54:24,938
- You think she noticed me?
- Yes!
1110
00:54:25,038 --> 00:54:27,675
- Yes!
- Oh, damn.
1111
00:54:30,477 --> 00:54:33,880
How to stop diabetes before it starts.
That's what AARP talking about.
1112
00:54:33,980 --> 00:54:36,060
You got to read this,
this is pretty good.
1113
00:54:47,881 --> 00:54:49,483
- Hi.
- Hey.
1114
00:54:50,083 --> 00:54:51,821
Heard about the sponsorship?
1115
00:54:52,586 --> 00:54:54,555
Yeah, just found out about it.
1116
00:54:54,655 --> 00:54:57,124
- We got a problem.
- What's that?
1117
00:54:57,224 --> 00:54:59,463
Sponsor is Sheldon Construction.
1118
00:55:02,930 --> 00:55:05,666
Same Sheldon Construction that built
the dam that put us all out of business?
1119
00:55:05,766 --> 00:55:09,177
- That's the one.
- Hell no. You see?
1120
00:55:10,270 --> 00:55:11,849
Unbelievable.
1121
00:55:16,892 --> 00:55:18,361
Eileen, what you doin'?
1122
00:55:18,461 --> 00:55:19,962
I knew it.
1123
00:55:20,062 --> 00:55:22,231
He's in the Ku Klux Klan.
1124
00:55:22,331 --> 00:55:23,910
What?
1125
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:28,003
He was wearing the sheet
when I went in the room.
1126
00:55:28,103 --> 00:55:30,039
Them people are not
in no Ku Klux Klan.
1127
00:55:30,139 --> 00:55:31,907
I saw the Klan today.
That ain't the Klan.
1128
00:55:32,007 --> 00:55:35,511
- They probably trying to make up the bed.
- I know the Klan when I see it.
1129
00:55:35,611 --> 00:55:37,980
There you go, overreacting,
like you always do.
1130
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,558
- Yes, he is.
- Always jump to conclusions.
1131
00:55:41,317 --> 00:55:42,718
Stop jumping to conclusions.
1132
00:55:42,818 --> 00:55:45,228
No, baby. No.
1133
00:55:45,821 --> 00:55:47,289
I know what I saw.
1134
00:55:47,389 --> 00:55:49,425
Eileen, you gonna
get your pressure up.
1135
00:55:49,525 --> 00:55:54,063
I'm gonna sleep with
one eye open tonight.
1136
00:55:54,163 --> 00:55:58,401
Yes. Oh, Lord, my poor daughter,
she's so naive.
1137
00:55:58,501 --> 00:56:01,270
She don't know what's going on.
She don't have a clue.
1138
00:56:01,370 --> 00:56:04,173
You don't have a clue, talkin'
about sleeping with one eye open.
1139
00:56:04,273 --> 00:56:06,942
I hope it's not the lazy one,
'cause that one always look closed.
1140
00:56:07,042 --> 00:56:08,844
Them people are not in the Klan.
1141
00:56:08,944 --> 00:56:11,113
You put all of this stuff
in front of that door.
1142
00:56:11,213 --> 00:56:12,848
All that stuff in
front the damn door.
1143
00:56:12,948 --> 00:56:16,185
I go to the bathroom, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 10, 12 times a night...
1144
00:56:16,285 --> 00:56:18,187
and if I laugh too hard,
I squirt pee.
1145
00:56:18,287 --> 00:56:19,989
You got to move that stuff.
1146
00:56:20,089 --> 00:56:23,466
How can I go to the bathroom at
night with all that in front the door?
1147
00:56:26,295 --> 00:56:27,997
What this?
1148
00:56:28,097 --> 00:56:30,871
- I can't sit on this cup!
- Then stand up.
1149
00:57:09,805 --> 00:57:11,273
Conner, I'm sorry.
1150
00:57:11,373 --> 00:57:13,919
- Can I ask you something?
- What's that?
1151
00:57:16,011 --> 00:57:18,581
- Are you ashamed of me?
- No.
1152
00:57:18,681 --> 00:57:20,816
Then why won't you tell her?
1153
00:57:20,916 --> 00:57:24,987
I've never let my mother
down my entire life. Okay?
1154
00:57:25,087 --> 00:57:28,991
I've done everything
she wanted. Always.
1155
00:57:29,091 --> 00:57:32,035
And this is the first time I've
done something that I want.
1156
00:57:33,562 --> 00:57:35,631
Conner, it's gonna break her heart.
1157
00:57:35,731 --> 00:57:37,199
You gotta understand that.
1158
00:57:37,299 --> 00:57:39,802
You have to understand
how this makes me feel.
1159
00:57:39,902 --> 00:57:43,381
I love you. I'm proud of us.
I don't care who knows.
1160
00:57:47,543 --> 00:57:50,715
- Are you coming to bed?
- You mean the sofa, right?
1161
00:57:51,313 --> 00:57:53,716
You know the walls are thin.
1162
00:57:53,816 --> 00:57:56,021
My patience is getting
there with this.
1163
00:58:04,927 --> 00:58:07,863
And I told her, "You better
get the hell on out the way."
1164
00:58:07,963 --> 00:58:10,232
Lord, that was funny.
Your mama was something else.
1165
00:58:10,332 --> 00:58:12,070
Here you are, Miss Murphy.
1166
00:58:13,435 --> 00:58:15,638
Three little eggs.
1167
00:58:15,738 --> 00:58:17,545
Mama, it's fine.
1168
00:58:18,474 --> 00:58:20,175
Would you like some coffee, Conner?
1169
00:58:20,275 --> 00:58:23,322
No, I gotta tend to the animals.
1170
00:58:27,016 --> 00:58:29,351
I can give you a few
pointers if you want to.
1171
00:58:29,451 --> 00:58:31,353
- Yeah, that would be great.
- Okay, great.
1172
00:58:31,453 --> 00:58:33,533
All right. I'll be outside
if y'all need me.
1173
00:58:34,123 --> 00:58:36,759
What kind of farmhand
don't know about farmin'?
1174
00:58:36,859 --> 00:58:39,662
- He knows the science of it, Mama.
- No, I heard that last night.
1175
00:58:39,762 --> 00:58:42,097
Wait. Why are you
always defending him?
1176
00:58:42,197 --> 00:58:44,777
'Cause she like him.
1177
00:58:46,201 --> 00:58:48,938
Over my dead body will she end
up with somebody like that.
1178
00:58:49,038 --> 00:58:50,549
Somebody like what?
1179
00:58:51,340 --> 00:58:54,910
I don't wanna talk about it. We don't
make those kind of jokes, okay?
1180
00:58:55,010 --> 00:58:57,046
Hush up, Dragon Lady.
Hush the hell up.
1181
00:58:57,146 --> 00:59:00,516
If she like him, she like him.
That's all that is. Just hush.
1182
00:59:00,616 --> 00:59:02,418
Excuse me. Good morning, y'all.
1183
00:59:02,518 --> 00:59:05,921
This room brings back
so many memories.
1184
00:59:06,021 --> 00:59:07,890
Smells like farm.
1185
00:59:07,990 --> 00:59:09,458
Good morning, Miss Mandela.
1186
00:59:09,558 --> 00:59:11,535
Not Mandela, honey. Madea.
1187
00:59:12,461 --> 00:59:14,763
Madea, honey. Hi, sweetheart.
1188
00:59:14,863 --> 00:59:16,799
Mrs. Williams,
would you like some coffee?
1189
00:59:16,899 --> 00:59:20,135
- I'm gonna get it myself.
- Don't you have to go to school?
1190
00:59:20,235 --> 00:59:23,405
Actually, I do. I'm on my way.
I'll talk to you later.
1191
00:59:23,505 --> 00:59:25,107
Bye, Miss Mandela.
1192
00:59:25,808 --> 00:59:28,844
I had such a crazy,
crazy-ass dream last night.
1193
00:59:28,944 --> 00:59:30,946
- Really?
- Yeah. What are you cooking?
1194
00:59:31,046 --> 00:59:33,983
- Can I help? I'm good in the kitchen.
- No, I don't need your help.
1195
00:59:34,083 --> 00:59:35,059
Eileen!
1196
00:59:35,984 --> 00:59:38,155
What? I don't need her help.
1197
00:59:39,588 --> 00:59:43,058
I understand. I like to cook
alone myself sometimes too.
1198
00:59:43,158 --> 00:59:44,627
- Thank you.
- All right then.
1199
00:59:44,727 --> 00:59:45,862
- Thank you.
- Okay.
1200
00:59:46,462 --> 00:59:47,930
You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
1201
00:59:48,030 --> 00:59:49,999
That ain't being Christian,
being that mean to that woman.
1202
00:59:50,099 --> 00:59:52,736
I don't eat food from the KKK.
1203
00:59:53,335 --> 00:59:56,405
That woman ain't in no KKK.
Hush that foolishness. Hell.
1204
00:59:56,505 --> 00:59:58,774
- I love you, Son.
- Love you too.
1205
00:59:58,874 --> 01:00:00,476
Stay warm, okay?
1206
01:00:07,416 --> 01:00:10,497
- Stop babying him.
- You need to start babying him.
1207
01:00:11,420 --> 01:00:13,088
What's the matter with you?
1208
01:00:13,188 --> 01:00:15,791
You did not need to be so
mean to that woman yesterday.
1209
01:00:15,891 --> 01:00:18,093
She don't need to be
coming around here.
1210
01:00:18,193 --> 01:00:21,030
She seems nice. She just
wants the best for Bailey.
1211
01:00:21,130 --> 01:00:23,766
I know what's the best for Bailey,
and that's keeping this place running.
1212
01:00:23,866 --> 01:00:25,501
He can learn something in school.
1213
01:00:25,601 --> 01:00:28,037
Maybe become something
more than the two of us.
1214
01:00:28,137 --> 01:00:31,013
Yeah? Well, school is
gonna have to wait.
1215
01:00:32,574 --> 01:00:34,376
Gotta get these "poinsetters" sold.
1216
01:00:34,476 --> 01:00:37,813
Think I'm gonna go down to Harrisburg.
Try sell 'em over there.
1217
01:00:37,913 --> 01:00:40,749
If you would have talked to Lacey,
you would've found out...
1218
01:00:40,849 --> 01:00:43,986
that she has got sponsorship for
the Jubilee, so it is happening.
1219
01:00:44,086 --> 01:00:46,455
So you can sell your
poinsettias at the Jubilee.
1220
01:00:46,555 --> 01:00:48,760
- Who's the sponsor?
- I don't know.
1221
01:00:52,127 --> 01:00:54,196
Who does she think she is?
1222
01:00:54,296 --> 01:00:56,298
What you mad for, huh?
1223
01:00:56,398 --> 01:00:58,400
The Jubilee is happening.
1224
01:00:58,500 --> 01:01:01,537
We don't need her help.
She ain't from around here.
1225
01:01:01,637 --> 01:01:04,873
- Well, that's just plain dumb.
- You watch your back talk, Amber.
1226
01:01:04,973 --> 01:01:07,349
And you watch your
front talk, Tanner.
1227
01:01:12,681 --> 01:01:14,283
- Hi.
- Hey.
1228
01:01:14,883 --> 01:01:16,621
Heard about the sponsorship?
1229
01:01:17,386 --> 01:01:19,355
Yeah, just found out about it.
1230
01:01:19,455 --> 01:01:21,924
- We got a problem.
- What's that?
1231
01:01:22,024 --> 01:01:24,263
Sponsor is Sheldon Construction.
1232
01:01:27,730 --> 01:01:30,466
Same Sheldon Construction that built
the dam that put us all out of business?
1233
01:01:30,566 --> 01:01:33,977
- That's the one.
- Hell no. You see?
1234
01:01:35,070 --> 01:01:36,649
Unbelievable.
1235
01:01:39,353 --> 01:01:41,856
There is no such thing
as "just a farm boy."
1236
01:01:41,956 --> 01:01:45,265
You are smart. You can
be anything you want.
1237
01:01:46,694 --> 01:01:49,931
I can only imagine if you could
just stay awake in class.
1238
01:01:50,031 --> 01:01:52,667
- Are you up late at night?
- No, ma'am.
1239
01:01:52,767 --> 01:01:56,405
I want you to sing the lead
solo at the Christmas Jubilee.
1240
01:01:57,371 --> 01:01:59,273
I'm sorry. I can't do that.
1241
01:01:59,373 --> 01:02:01,783
- Yes, you can.
- No.
1242
01:02:03,544 --> 01:02:05,851
You know what? I really
gotta go, Miss Williams.
1243
01:02:07,415 --> 01:02:09,791
My daddy's gonna be
waiting for me at home.
1244
01:02:12,643 --> 01:02:15,349
Child, these nipples so tough,
you need a mammogram.
1245
01:02:15,846 --> 01:02:17,983
Don't look at me like that.
1246
01:02:18,582 --> 01:02:20,684
- But you giving milk.
- Well, hello.
1247
01:02:21,485 --> 01:02:23,064
Hey there.
1248
01:02:24,288 --> 01:02:26,790
- How are ya?
- Thems pigs was starving to death.
1249
01:02:26,890 --> 01:02:29,593
I slopped them, and I've been
trying to get milk for Eileen.
1250
01:02:29,693 --> 01:02:32,129
- She's in there trying to cook something.
- Look, he's trying.
1251
01:02:32,229 --> 01:02:35,332
- We sure do appreciate you helpin'.
- No. That's fine.
1252
01:02:35,432 --> 01:02:38,469
I'll show him how to do it when he
come out of that laboratory thing.
1253
01:02:38,569 --> 01:02:41,104
Look like he growing marijuana.
He ain't growing marijuana, is he?
1254
01:02:41,204 --> 01:02:44,074
No, he ain't doing that.
Look, he's a smart kid, you know.
1255
01:02:44,174 --> 01:02:46,481
He just, well...
1256
01:02:47,744 --> 01:02:49,646
- What?
- I'm a truck driver.
1257
01:02:49,746 --> 01:02:52,216
I'm out on the road a lot,
you know, and...
1258
01:02:52,316 --> 01:02:55,486
he always stayed with his mom
and his grandparents here.
1259
01:02:55,586 --> 01:02:58,655
I tell you what, it broke my
heart to be gone so much...
1260
01:02:58,755 --> 01:03:02,860
but I just kind of feel a little
guilty about the way he turned out.
1261
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,429
- How he turn out?
- Kind of passive, I guess.
1262
01:03:05,529 --> 01:03:07,731
Kind of lets people
walk all over him.
1263
01:03:07,831 --> 01:03:11,935
I mean, he used to get beat
up a lot in school, bullied.
1264
01:03:12,035 --> 01:03:13,704
- Oh, he's soft.
- He's soft.
1265
01:03:13,804 --> 01:03:16,340
This kid, Tanner, used to
beat him up all the time.
1266
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:18,342
And he still lives here, that Tanner.
1267
01:03:18,442 --> 01:03:21,044
When a person gets tired of a bully,
they handle it, you understand?
1268
01:03:21,144 --> 01:03:24,581
You shut it down and you realize that
you ain't gonna deal with it no more.
1269
01:03:24,681 --> 01:03:27,284
- Boy, that's the truth.
- Gotta wait for that.
1270
01:03:27,384 --> 01:03:29,720
Hey, we were just talking about you.
1271
01:03:29,820 --> 01:03:31,288
- Yeah?
- It was all good stuff.
1272
01:03:31,388 --> 01:03:33,357
- All good stuff.
- Good.
1273
01:03:33,457 --> 01:03:36,094
That one, she just will
not let you milk her.
1274
01:03:37,461 --> 01:03:39,666
- The black-and-white one?
- Yep.
1275
01:03:41,798 --> 01:03:45,402
There's a reason why you couldn't get
milk from the black-and-white one, son.
1276
01:03:47,437 --> 01:03:50,074
If somebody pull on your testicles,
will you give 'em milk?
1277
01:03:51,241 --> 01:03:52,342
Don't answer that.
1278
01:03:52,442 --> 01:03:55,145
That's a bull.
You can't milk no bull.
1279
01:03:55,245 --> 01:03:57,325
You serious, trying to milk a bull?
1280
01:03:58,448 --> 01:03:59,618
Blessed.
1281
01:04:00,784 --> 01:04:03,320
Son, you got to slop them
pigs early in the morning.
1282
01:04:03,420 --> 01:04:06,823
Then you gotta milk these cows
'cause they nipples is tough.
1283
01:04:06,923 --> 01:04:09,526
And you can't be gentle.
You got to pull them nipples.
1284
01:04:09,626 --> 01:04:11,695
You got to pull them things.
Pull 'em hard.
1285
01:04:11,795 --> 01:04:14,231
Pull 'em. Pull 'em. Pull 'em.
1286
01:04:14,331 --> 01:04:18,709
You're used to that. Hell, his mama
breast-fed him until he was in ninth grade.
1287
01:04:19,703 --> 01:04:23,250
Shut your mouth! Ninth grade?
Her nipples ought to have corrosion.
1288
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,209
Yeah. That's right.
You ought to see them things.
1289
01:04:26,309 --> 01:04:28,478
They look like cake decorator bags.
1290
01:04:28,578 --> 01:04:31,448
Dad, stop it. Come on.
1291
01:04:31,548 --> 01:04:35,152
Y'all, sometimes I just think
I'm not cut out for this.
1292
01:04:35,252 --> 01:04:38,663
Well, hey, it's just a nipple!
1293
01:04:39,256 --> 01:04:41,158
Daddy, I'm talking about farming.
1294
01:04:41,258 --> 01:04:43,060
Well, hey, farming's hard, Son.
1295
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,069
Yes, farming's hard.
You know what else is hard?
1296
01:04:45,729 --> 01:04:47,030
Keeping up a lie...
1297
01:04:47,130 --> 01:04:49,766
'cause the longer you let it live,
the harder it is to kill.
1298
01:04:49,866 --> 01:04:51,668
- Ain't that right?
- You got that right.
1299
01:04:51,768 --> 01:04:53,604
You're a smart woman.
1300
01:04:53,704 --> 01:04:56,607
- What are you talkin' about?
- What am I talkin' about?
1301
01:04:56,707 --> 01:04:58,508
I'm talking about you and Lacey.
1302
01:04:58,608 --> 01:05:00,744
You wanna tell Eileen, or you
want me to tell her y'all together?
1303
01:05:00,844 --> 01:05:02,981
- Daddy!
- Hey, I didn't say nothin'.
1304
01:05:03,580 --> 01:05:05,248
- Who told you?
- You just did.
1305
01:05:05,348 --> 01:05:07,384
Whole body language. Tensed up.
1306
01:05:07,484 --> 01:05:09,886
When I walked in the house
the other day, I saw them shoes.
1307
01:05:09,986 --> 01:05:12,322
I see the way you look at her,
the way she look at you.
1308
01:05:12,422 --> 01:05:14,958
- Y'all need to say something.
- It's not me. I wanna tell her.
1309
01:05:15,058 --> 01:05:17,961
It's Lacey. She says she doesn't
think she can handle it.
1310
01:05:18,061 --> 01:05:20,297
We just need a defibrillator.
She gonna have a heart attack.
1311
01:05:20,397 --> 01:05:22,032
She gonna clutch the pearls and die.
1312
01:05:22,132 --> 01:05:24,201
But we'll get a defibrillator.
She'll be all right.
1313
01:05:24,301 --> 01:05:26,381
But it's all right.
Y'all just dating.
1314
01:05:27,204 --> 01:05:28,339
Dating?
1315
01:05:29,973 --> 01:05:31,552
They're married.
1316
01:05:32,075 --> 01:05:33,586
Oh, she dead.
1317
01:05:34,344 --> 01:05:35,752
Flatline. Just...
1318
01:05:37,380 --> 01:05:39,983
Dead. Lord have mercy,
that's going to kill her.
1319
01:05:40,083 --> 01:05:42,419
Lacey said she's gonna
tell her on Christmas.
1320
01:05:42,519 --> 01:05:44,421
She fixin' to kill her
mama on Christmas Day?
1321
01:05:44,521 --> 01:05:47,124
- What kind of Christmas present is that?
- Oh, damn.
1322
01:05:48,058 --> 01:05:50,027
Y'all better have some
nitroglycerin or something.
1323
01:05:50,127 --> 01:05:52,095
That's a damn shame.
Gonna kill that woman on...
1324
01:05:52,195 --> 01:05:54,275
Hell, I'm stuck in the mud.
1325
01:05:56,867 --> 01:05:58,168
Hell, this ain't mud!
1326
01:05:58,268 --> 01:06:00,814
- You all right?
- I done fell in bull...
1327
01:06:04,908 --> 01:06:07,579
Keep going. Help each other out.
1328
01:06:09,012 --> 01:06:11,415
- Hi. What's going on?
- It's bad.
1329
01:06:11,515 --> 01:06:13,316
Oliver called and told the mayor...
1330
01:06:13,416 --> 01:06:17,421
that we couldn't have any references
to the nativity or Jesus.
1331
01:06:17,521 --> 01:06:20,257
- What?
- The sponsors don't want it.
1332
01:06:20,357 --> 01:06:22,959
No. No, something
is wrong. I'll call him.
1333
01:06:23,059 --> 01:06:25,139
Well, the mayor wants to see you now.
1334
01:06:26,263 --> 01:06:28,172
- Come on.
- Okay.
1335
01:06:29,332 --> 01:06:31,070
Who does he think he is?
1336
01:06:32,769 --> 01:06:34,538
All right! That's enough!
1337
01:06:34,638 --> 01:06:36,807
That's enough!
1338
01:06:36,907 --> 01:06:38,642
One at a time!
1339
01:06:38,742 --> 01:06:40,377
I'm very upset.
1340
01:06:40,477 --> 01:06:42,879
She is trying to take
Christ out of Christmas.
1341
01:06:42,979 --> 01:06:45,716
Next thing you know they'll
wanna take prayer out of church!
1342
01:06:45,816 --> 01:06:47,784
You see what happened when
they took prayer out of schools.
1343
01:06:47,884 --> 01:06:48,852
We did.
1344
01:06:48,952 --> 01:06:51,221
Wilbur, what does it say?
1345
01:06:51,321 --> 01:06:54,858
Well, the contract says...
no nativity.
1346
01:06:54,958 --> 01:06:57,494
No Jesus reference whatsoever.
1347
01:06:57,594 --> 01:06:59,996
Not even a little drummer boy.
1348
01:07:00,096 --> 01:07:01,565
Unbelievable.
1349
01:07:01,665 --> 01:07:03,667
Why didn't it say that the
first time you read it?
1350
01:07:03,767 --> 01:07:05,936
Well, it was in the small print.
1351
01:07:06,036 --> 01:07:08,004
I didn't have my glasses on.
1352
01:07:08,104 --> 01:07:10,540
I didn't have my glasses on!
I couldn't see!
1353
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:12,375
- This is awful!
- Wait.
1354
01:07:12,475 --> 01:07:14,555
This has got to be a mistake.
1355
01:07:15,178 --> 01:07:17,280
Let me call Oliver. How about that?
1356
01:07:17,380 --> 01:07:19,683
All righty. You go right ahead.
1357
01:07:19,783 --> 01:07:21,918
I've already talked to him
about this, but have at it.
1358
01:07:22,018 --> 01:07:23,426
Okay.
1359
01:07:24,354 --> 01:07:26,365
- Put it on speaker.
- Yeah.
1360
01:07:26,857 --> 01:07:28,436
Okay.
1361
01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:38,702
Hello?
1362
01:07:38,802 --> 01:07:42,105
- Hi Oliver.
- Hey. Guess you talked to the mayor.
1363
01:07:42,205 --> 01:07:45,275
Yes, we are all here on speakerphone.
1364
01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:47,577
Yeah, I don't see
what the big deal is.
1365
01:07:47,677 --> 01:07:50,480
They want it to be called Holiday
Jubilee instead of Christmas.
1366
01:07:50,580 --> 01:07:52,783
Yeah, and they don't need
references to religious figures.
1367
01:07:52,883 --> 01:07:55,786
How do we talk about Christmas
without talking about Jesus?
1368
01:07:55,886 --> 01:07:58,121
- Yeah, how do we?
- It happens all the time,
1369
01:07:58,221 --> 01:08:00,190
Santa Claus is okay.
1370
01:08:00,290 --> 01:08:02,961
Make it about Santa Claus and
not about the birth of Christ.
1371
01:08:03,560 --> 01:08:08,231
And the songs for the Jubilee should
be about everything but Christ.
1372
01:08:08,331 --> 01:08:11,501
Sing songs like Here Comes
Santa Claus, White Christmas.
1373
01:08:11,601 --> 01:08:13,036
White Christmas.
1374
01:08:13,136 --> 01:08:16,039
There ain't nothing white about
a Bucktussle, Alabama Christmas!
1375
01:08:16,139 --> 01:08:17,874
- It don't snow here!
- That's right.
1376
01:08:17,974 --> 01:08:21,044
Okay, Oliver, we did not
sign up for this. Okay?
1377
01:08:21,144 --> 01:08:22,612
Yes, you did.
1378
01:08:22,712 --> 01:08:24,917
I am a Christian,
and this is some bull...
1379
01:08:28,518 --> 01:08:30,787
The heads of the company are
coming down on a private jet...
1380
01:08:30,887 --> 01:08:32,022
A private jet.
1381
01:08:32,122 --> 01:08:33,857
To be filmed with the
school at the Jubilee,
1382
01:08:33,957 --> 01:08:35,992
I did you a favor here,
and this will ruin me.
1383
01:08:36,092 --> 01:08:37,994
You can't do this to me now.
1384
01:08:38,094 --> 01:08:42,165
I can't just turn them around.
You have to figure this one out.
1385
01:08:42,265 --> 01:08:44,668
- You hold on there, son.
- That's right. You get it straight.
1386
01:08:44,768 --> 01:08:47,671
With all due respect, Mr. Mayor,
you got the money and we have a deal.
1387
01:08:47,771 --> 01:08:49,739
- Give him his money back.
- Yeah.
1388
01:08:49,839 --> 01:08:51,308
- We spent it.
- Yeah.
1389
01:08:51,408 --> 01:08:53,043
- On what?
- The Jubilee!
1390
01:08:53,143 --> 01:08:56,713
And much-needed school supplies.
And catching up on school bills.
1391
01:08:56,813 --> 01:08:59,616
Listen, I'm sorry, but we're coming.
1392
01:08:59,716 --> 01:09:02,052
This is my career
you're talking about.
1393
01:09:02,152 --> 01:09:03,731
I'll see you tomorrow.
1394
01:09:04,321 --> 01:09:06,456
Move, move. Now, watch out.
1395
01:09:06,556 --> 01:09:10,594
Well, now this is a fine
mess you've gotten us into.
1396
01:09:10,694 --> 01:09:12,162
She should be fired.
1397
01:09:12,262 --> 01:09:14,531
- Now hold on a second.
- Mr. Mayor...
1398
01:09:14,631 --> 01:09:16,099
have you heard?
1399
01:09:16,199 --> 01:09:18,168
We were talking about the
changes they want made.
1400
01:09:18,268 --> 01:09:21,975
That's not what I was talking about.
I was talking about the sponsor.
1401
01:09:22,772 --> 01:09:24,674
- Sheldon Construction.
- What?
1402
01:09:24,774 --> 01:09:26,243
That's right.
1403
01:09:26,343 --> 01:09:27,811
The same folks...
1404
01:09:27,911 --> 01:09:31,147
that built a dam to save Jasper
and left us without a river.
1405
01:09:31,247 --> 01:09:33,250
She brought this mess here
and she should be fired.
1406
01:09:33,350 --> 01:09:35,151
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring...
1407
01:09:35,251 --> 01:09:38,922
We don't care what the
hell you meant. Do we?
1408
01:09:39,022 --> 01:09:40,523
- No.
- I didn't think so.
1409
01:09:40,623 --> 01:09:42,659
You brought an awful situation here.
1410
01:09:42,759 --> 01:09:44,861
Get out of here and let us handle it.
1411
01:09:44,961 --> 01:09:47,264
- Go back to wherever you come from.
- Now hold on.
1412
01:09:47,364 --> 01:09:49,171
You do not have to
talk to her like that.
1413
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,412
Mr. Mayor.
1414
01:09:52,335 --> 01:09:54,604
You fire her. Right now.
1415
01:09:54,704 --> 01:09:56,545
Do it.
1416
01:09:58,008 --> 01:10:01,646
- Lacey, I'm sorry.
- There we go.
1417
01:10:03,646 --> 01:10:05,225
I understand.
1418
01:10:08,651 --> 01:10:11,021
You believe that? Sheldon.
1419
01:10:11,121 --> 01:10:13,030
This is a hell of a mess.
1420
01:10:23,266 --> 01:10:25,403
You all do your homework, okay?
1421
01:10:26,903 --> 01:10:30,177
And... be good for your new teacher.
1422
01:10:32,242 --> 01:10:33,821
Where are you going?
1423
01:10:36,246 --> 01:10:37,984
I made a mistake...
1424
01:10:39,115 --> 01:10:40,917
and now I have to leave.
1425
01:10:41,017 --> 01:10:44,894
No. I'll sing. I'll do the solo.
1426
01:10:45,555 --> 01:10:49,059
I don't think there's gonna be
a Christmas Jubilee this year.
1427
01:10:49,159 --> 01:10:51,161
I don't want you to go.
1428
01:10:51,261 --> 01:10:53,563
Bailey, you are so special.
1429
01:10:53,663 --> 01:10:56,141
You always remember that.
1430
01:10:57,901 --> 01:11:00,337
- Okay?
- Yes, ma'am.
1431
01:11:00,437 --> 01:11:02,016
You all are.
1432
01:11:04,307 --> 01:11:05,886
I'll see you.
1433
01:11:07,410 --> 01:11:10,047
- I'm so sorry.
- It's fine.
1434
01:11:14,584 --> 01:11:16,254
Good job, boys.
1435
01:11:24,094 --> 01:11:26,062
I just got done telling Madea...
1436
01:11:26,162 --> 01:11:29,299
that you was in here all alone
with Eileen, and she said that...
1437
01:11:29,399 --> 01:11:32,446
I said you was in here with
the beast of the southern wild.
1438
01:11:34,003 --> 01:11:36,206
I tried. That woman is stubborn.
1439
01:11:36,306 --> 01:11:38,875
I tried. I asked her if
I could help her cook.
1440
01:11:38,975 --> 01:11:40,443
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
1441
01:11:40,543 --> 01:11:42,445
Yeah, I know. She's difficult.
1442
01:11:42,545 --> 01:11:44,514
It's all right. She got a problem,
but it's all right.
1443
01:11:44,614 --> 01:11:46,783
- Y'all want some lemonade?
- No, I'm good.
1444
01:11:46,883 --> 01:11:48,518
- I'm good. Thank you.
- There you are.
1445
01:11:48,618 --> 01:11:51,021
I've been worried about you.
1446
01:11:51,121 --> 01:11:54,090
You were out there
with them for a while.
1447
01:11:54,190 --> 01:11:56,159
Yeah. I was conflicted.
1448
01:11:56,259 --> 01:12:00,897
I didn't know if I should look
for you or watch the food.
1449
01:12:00,997 --> 01:12:03,600
I didn't let her near our food.
1450
01:12:04,534 --> 01:12:08,571
You whisper like a damn bullhorn.
That woman ain't gonna hurt us.
1451
01:12:08,671 --> 01:12:10,640
We don't know that, do we?
1452
01:12:10,740 --> 01:12:12,375
What y'all talking about over there?
1453
01:12:12,475 --> 01:12:14,782
She just thinks y'all
are tryin' to kill us.
1454
01:12:16,279 --> 01:12:17,781
- Tryin' to kill you?
- Good heavens!
1455
01:12:17,881 --> 01:12:20,350
- You're nuts!
- I've never hurt a flea or a fly.
1456
01:12:20,450 --> 01:12:22,419
I've seen her shoot
a deer once though.
1457
01:12:22,519 --> 01:12:25,822
I never. I would never shoot little
Bambi sipping water in a pond.
1458
01:12:25,922 --> 01:12:28,858
I'm just gonna ask y'all.
I'm gonna put it out on the table.
1459
01:12:28,958 --> 01:12:30,326
- Be honest.
- What is it?
1460
01:12:30,426 --> 01:12:32,164
Y'all in the Ku Klux Klan?
1461
01:12:32,962 --> 01:12:34,931
- That's what she wanna know.
- Get outta here!
1462
01:12:35,031 --> 01:12:37,000
Heavens no. Why would she...
1463
01:12:37,100 --> 01:12:39,869
- Buddy, the other night with the sheet.
- Oh, with the sheet!
1464
01:12:39,969 --> 01:12:41,471
Yes! Explain that.
1465
01:12:41,571 --> 01:12:43,540
We used to play this game, all right?
1466
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:45,542
Buddy and I, when we
were young, he would...
1467
01:12:45,642 --> 01:12:48,278
It was called the
Ghost and the Damsel.
1468
01:12:48,378 --> 01:12:50,346
And he would blindfold me.
1469
01:12:50,446 --> 01:12:52,916
Then he'd put a sheet
above himself...
1470
01:12:53,016 --> 01:12:55,051
and then I would have
to search about...
1471
01:12:55,151 --> 01:12:57,187
and capture the rapture,
if you know what I mean.
1472
01:12:57,287 --> 01:12:58,855
Mama!
1473
01:12:58,955 --> 01:13:00,457
I am sorry, Conner.
1474
01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:02,826
- That's just nasty.
- Sorry, Son.
1475
01:13:02,926 --> 01:13:05,061
- But I like it.
- I know.
1476
01:13:05,161 --> 01:13:07,530
It can be fun. It can be.
1477
01:13:07,630 --> 01:13:10,467
That is so inappropriate.
1478
01:13:10,567 --> 01:13:14,137
You two need to learn how to
respect my daughter's house.
1479
01:13:15,004 --> 01:13:17,774
- Eileen, you might wanna let that go.
- No.
1480
01:13:17,874 --> 01:13:19,943
They come in here taking
advantage of her...
1481
01:13:20,043 --> 01:13:23,446
eating her food, and they're
acting like they own the place.
1482
01:13:23,546 --> 01:13:25,715
- I don't like it.
- You need to let that go.
1483
01:13:25,815 --> 01:13:28,418
Well, I don't like...
1484
01:13:28,518 --> 01:13:30,687
- Mama...
- that you...
1485
01:13:30,787 --> 01:13:32,255
Mama, sit down.
1486
01:13:32,355 --> 01:13:34,891
You cut down my family's memory tree.
1487
01:13:34,991 --> 01:13:36,960
That's what I don't like.
1488
01:13:37,060 --> 01:13:38,561
Excuse me?
1489
01:13:38,661 --> 01:13:41,664
I can deal with a lot of things.
They know it.
1490
01:13:41,764 --> 01:13:44,200
But this is downright wrong...
1491
01:13:44,300 --> 01:13:47,244
and now I am getting very upset!
1492
01:13:48,004 --> 01:13:51,241
Why would you plant his memory
tree on my daughter's land...
1493
01:13:51,341 --> 01:13:53,309
and how was I supposed to know that?
1494
01:13:53,409 --> 01:13:55,378
Oh, I don't know.
1495
01:13:55,478 --> 01:13:58,481
Maybe because it had a
yellow ribbon around it?
1496
01:13:58,581 --> 01:14:00,183
That doesn't mean anything.
1497
01:14:00,283 --> 01:14:03,720
In most countries, in most places,
to sane-thinking people...
1498
01:14:03,820 --> 01:14:06,489
a yellow ribbon means something.
1499
01:14:06,589 --> 01:14:10,560
Now you just calm down, missy. Okay?
1500
01:14:10,660 --> 01:14:14,664
Now, Lacey, are you gonna
let her talk to me like this?
1501
01:14:14,764 --> 01:14:16,666
- Mama, calm down.
- Put your finger down...
1502
01:14:16,766 --> 01:14:19,005
or I will cut it off and deep-fry it!
1503
01:14:20,303 --> 01:14:22,839
You need to leave my
daughter's house.
1504
01:14:22,939 --> 01:14:24,807
- Mama, stop it! Stop!
- No!
1505
01:14:24,907 --> 01:14:26,776
Eileen, you need to
stop right now, honey.
1506
01:14:26,876 --> 01:14:29,712
What are they doing here anyway?
Tomorrow is Christmas!
1507
01:14:29,812 --> 01:14:31,347
They are not your family!
1508
01:14:31,447 --> 01:14:33,683
- Let's get out of here.
- No, hold up.
1509
01:14:33,783 --> 01:14:36,085
Come on back here.
Ain't nobody going nowhere.
1510
01:14:36,185 --> 01:14:38,821
- Now, Madea...
- Ain't nobody goin' no damn where.
1511
01:14:38,921 --> 01:14:40,890
Madea, whose side are you on?
1512
01:14:40,990 --> 01:14:43,359
- Let 'em leave.
- No, I'm on the side of right.
1513
01:14:43,459 --> 01:14:45,562
- That's the side I'm on. Lacey?
- Yes.
1514
01:14:45,662 --> 01:14:48,665
- Tell your mama.
- What? Tell me what?
1515
01:14:48,765 --> 01:14:52,005
Spit it out before I punch you,
put your teeth down your throat!
1516
01:14:54,537 --> 01:14:57,481
Mama... Conner and I are married.
1517
01:15:01,577 --> 01:15:03,987
- Catch her.
- Get the defibrillator.
1518
01:15:09,185 --> 01:15:11,731
Lacey. Your father.
1519
01:15:12,689 --> 01:15:15,692
I know, Mama. I know he was
murdered by a white man, but...
1520
01:15:15,792 --> 01:15:17,293
- What happened?
- What?
1521
01:15:17,393 --> 01:15:20,663
My father was killed by a
white man on Christmas Eve...
1522
01:15:20,763 --> 01:15:22,565
trying to protect my mother's honor.
1523
01:15:22,665 --> 01:15:24,667
- That's awful.
- Good Lord.
1524
01:15:24,767 --> 01:15:27,770
- Who told you that?
- Mama.
1525
01:15:27,870 --> 01:15:31,040
Eileen, you oughta be ashamed...
Child, that's some straight-up bull...
1526
01:15:31,140 --> 01:15:32,548
Madea!
1527
01:15:33,142 --> 01:15:35,722
Your daddy wasn't
killed by no white man.
1528
01:15:36,312 --> 01:15:38,681
He left your mama for a white
woman when you was two...
1529
01:15:38,781 --> 01:15:41,117
and your mama has been bitter
with white people ever since.
1530
01:15:41,217 --> 01:15:42,685
- What?
- Yes, years ago.
1531
01:15:42,785 --> 01:15:47,090
Ran off and joined the circus.
And now they on Glee,
1532
01:15:47,190 --> 01:15:48,658
Good show.
1533
01:15:48,758 --> 01:15:51,600
Glee? Mama, is this true?
1534
01:15:52,528 --> 01:15:54,197
Mama!
1535
01:15:54,297 --> 01:15:59,936
Lacey, I am so disappointed in you.
1536
01:16:00,036 --> 01:16:02,412
Look at her trying to
turn it around on you.
1537
01:16:03,406 --> 01:16:04,985
Girl, please.
1538
01:16:09,746 --> 01:16:11,553
You're disappointed in me?
1539
01:16:12,315 --> 01:16:14,550
Well, that went well.
1540
01:16:14,650 --> 01:16:16,957
At least she didn't have
another heart attack.
1541
01:16:18,588 --> 01:16:20,657
- Another one?
- Yeah, Madea.
1542
01:16:20,757 --> 01:16:23,660
Didn't you know that my mother
had a heart attack last year?
1543
01:16:23,760 --> 01:16:25,895
Your mama lied to you. She had gas.
1544
01:16:25,995 --> 01:16:28,831
Got to the doctor, she was clutching
her heart and the pearls.
1545
01:16:28,931 --> 01:16:31,234
Got there, doctor say it's gas.
1546
01:16:31,334 --> 01:16:34,837
- Wait, what?
- They put one of them rods up there.
1547
01:16:34,937 --> 01:16:37,807
Came flowing out like the River Jordan
and that was it. It was all over.
1548
01:16:37,907 --> 01:16:39,375
I had that once too.
1549
01:16:39,475 --> 01:16:41,978
Put it in there, come out sounding
like brakes coming out of...
1550
01:16:42,078 --> 01:16:44,488
The air pressure coming
out of one of them big rigs.
1551
01:16:45,515 --> 01:16:47,750
There it is. Then they tell
her she had heartburn.
1552
01:16:47,850 --> 01:16:50,586
- She didn't have no heart attack.
- She had heartburn?
1553
01:16:50,686 --> 01:16:53,323
She needs some of that Prilosec OTC.
1554
01:16:54,757 --> 01:16:57,427
She been manipulating you.
She as healthy as an ox.
1555
01:16:57,527 --> 01:16:59,629
Well, that woman's a
pretty pissed off ox.
1556
01:17:00,530 --> 01:17:02,109
Don't get behind her.
1557
01:17:03,499 --> 01:17:06,502
Don't light a match. Don't get
her next to an open flame.
1558
01:17:06,602 --> 01:17:08,071
We'll all have burnt heads.
1559
01:17:08,171 --> 01:17:10,842
Yeah, her farts can spell
her name, they so bad.
1560
01:17:13,543 --> 01:17:17,181
- Mama, he got her fired.
- That's all right. I'm upset too.
1561
01:17:17,780 --> 01:17:20,451
We should go, boy. We got work to do.
1562
01:17:23,386 --> 01:17:25,588
Why'd you do that to Mrs. Williams?
1563
01:17:25,688 --> 01:17:28,658
You know, she's a nice lady.
Why'd you get her fired?
1564
01:17:28,758 --> 01:17:30,793
You don't know what's
going on here, Bailey.
1565
01:17:30,893 --> 01:17:33,396
I know you don't like people
'cause of the way they look.
1566
01:17:33,496 --> 01:17:36,440
That ain't right! That's what
kids do to me at school!
1567
01:17:37,200 --> 01:17:41,009
It ain't fair. She's nice to me.
1568
01:17:42,371 --> 01:17:44,207
Don't you ever...
1569
01:17:44,307 --> 01:17:46,275
talk to me like that again.
1570
01:17:46,375 --> 01:17:48,144
You hear me?
1571
01:17:48,244 --> 01:17:50,324
Get out on that plow.
1572
01:17:55,952 --> 01:17:57,920
He is right, and you know it.
1573
01:17:58,020 --> 01:17:59,922
She made a deal with the devil.
1574
01:18:00,022 --> 01:18:02,859
No, you're actin' more like
the devil than she is.
1575
01:18:02,959 --> 01:18:05,039
And this is Christmas, Tanner.
1576
01:18:16,339 --> 01:18:19,742
This child still sitting out there.
That's just crazy as hell.
1577
01:18:19,842 --> 01:18:21,310
Where y'all going?
1578
01:18:21,410 --> 01:18:23,179
Well, Miss Media,
we're gonna bring her...
1579
01:18:23,279 --> 01:18:24,747
My name is Madea, honey.
1580
01:18:24,847 --> 01:18:26,315
- Madea.
- Thank you.
1581
01:18:26,415 --> 01:18:28,918
We're gonna bring her hot chocolate
to warm her hard, hard heart.
1582
01:18:29,018 --> 01:18:31,257
Hot chocolate does wonders.
It's delicious.
1583
01:18:31,921 --> 01:18:34,791
That's what got y'all in trouble,
the hot chocolate.
1584
01:18:34,891 --> 01:18:36,993
Your son with the hot chocolate.
1585
01:18:37,093 --> 01:18:39,061
I'm telling you. Let me
explain something to you.
1586
01:18:39,161 --> 01:18:40,963
Let me make this clear to y'all.
1587
01:18:41,063 --> 01:18:43,032
Leave her out there.
She is grown, sitting there.
1588
01:18:43,132 --> 01:18:46,102
If she want to come in the house,
she know how to get in. Leave her alone.
1589
01:18:46,202 --> 01:18:48,938
We're gonna go out and try.
We'll talk to her a bit.
1590
01:18:49,038 --> 01:18:50,506
Go on. Go on.
1591
01:18:50,606 --> 01:18:52,542
Okay. You better wear a cup.
1592
01:18:52,642 --> 01:18:54,221
That's comforting.
1593
01:19:01,183 --> 01:19:03,286
Boy, this is something else,
isn't it? It's freezing.
1594
01:19:03,386 --> 01:19:05,388
Remember, Buddy,
kill her with kindness.
1595
01:19:05,488 --> 01:19:07,457
My weenie is an inny right now.
1596
01:19:07,557 --> 01:19:11,093
Try to have as much charm with your
voice as you do with your weenie.
1597
01:19:11,193 --> 01:19:13,896
Well, tell you what.
I ain't used to this cold weather.
1598
01:19:13,996 --> 01:19:16,132
I know. All right?
1599
01:19:16,232 --> 01:19:18,201
I'm gonna have to wipe
with an ice scraper tonight.
1600
01:19:18,301 --> 01:19:20,603
Smile's all in patience.
Ask the Lord.
1601
01:19:20,703 --> 01:19:22,805
Lord, help us. The Serenity Prayer.
1602
01:19:22,905 --> 01:19:26,676
There ain't no cabs out here.
You wanna come back in the house?
1603
01:19:26,776 --> 01:19:28,311
I'm fine right here.
1604
01:19:28,411 --> 01:19:30,889
I made you some pipin' hot chocolate.
1605
01:19:31,547 --> 01:19:34,417
Thank you. I don't
want any chocolate.
1606
01:19:34,517 --> 01:19:36,255
My son likes chocolate.
1607
01:19:37,920 --> 01:19:40,756
Go ahead and laugh. This is awful.
1608
01:19:40,856 --> 01:19:43,593
What's so awful about it?
1609
01:19:43,693 --> 01:19:47,296
What world are you living in?
They are asking for trouble.
1610
01:19:47,396 --> 01:19:48,831
Eileen, I...
1611
01:19:48,931 --> 01:19:51,100
Mrs. Murphy to you.
1612
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:54,170
Miss Murphy, you can take a knife
and cut all three of us right now.
1613
01:19:54,270 --> 01:19:56,239
You know what's gonna happen?
We're gonna bleed red.
1614
01:19:56,339 --> 01:19:58,741
Blood red. We're all the same inside.
1615
01:19:58,841 --> 01:20:00,510
That's true.
1616
01:20:00,610 --> 01:20:03,884
Mrs. Murphy, if I may...
1617
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,951
our children, no matter what we think,
they will live their own lives.
1618
01:20:10,052 --> 01:20:12,655
- The world is changing.
- Not that much.
1619
01:20:12,755 --> 01:20:16,359
It is changing,
and that is a good thing.
1620
01:20:16,459 --> 01:20:20,196
Every generation sees
a little less division...
1621
01:20:20,296 --> 01:20:25,402
and a little more open
minds and open hearts.
1622
01:20:26,535 --> 01:20:29,505
I think we should be
happy and proud...
1623
01:20:29,605 --> 01:20:32,041
that our kids, our children...
1624
01:20:32,141 --> 01:20:35,745
see people as people.
1625
01:20:36,312 --> 01:20:37,647
That was beautiful.
1626
01:20:37,747 --> 01:20:39,815
- That was unbelievable.
- Thank you. I mean it.
1627
01:20:39,915 --> 01:20:42,585
Come in the house and get
to know us. We're good folks.
1628
01:20:42,685 --> 01:20:45,521
I know damn well you hear
me calling you. Eileen!
1629
01:20:45,621 --> 01:20:47,356
Traitor!
1630
01:20:47,456 --> 01:20:49,392
- Satan!
- Judas!
1631
01:20:49,492 --> 01:20:51,093
Beelzebub!
1632
01:20:51,193 --> 01:20:52,695
Come in. It is cold.
1633
01:20:52,795 --> 01:20:55,398
You got these people out here trying
to tempt you back in the house...
1634
01:20:55,498 --> 01:20:58,568
like a wet cat on a cold Sunday
morning who needs some milk.
1635
01:20:58,668 --> 01:21:00,303
Come in the house.
You're out here freezing.
1636
01:21:00,403 --> 01:21:03,806
Your ankles is whiter than snow.
Look like you been kicking flour.
1637
01:21:03,906 --> 01:21:06,247
My gosh, they are white.
Look, we are related.
1638
01:21:07,176 --> 01:21:10,580
I will not step into
that house of lies.
1639
01:21:10,680 --> 01:21:13,316
The girl is married. You can't
control every minute of her life.
1640
01:21:13,416 --> 01:21:15,151
Do you understand? It is Christmas.
1641
01:21:15,251 --> 01:21:18,721
Give this child the gift of being
able to do whatever she want to do.
1642
01:21:18,821 --> 01:21:21,891
You can't run her life for her.
Do you understand that?
1643
01:21:21,991 --> 01:21:24,560
Ain't no cab comin'. You gonna
be sitting out here freezin'.
1644
01:21:24,660 --> 01:21:27,530
We gonna come out here tomorrow,
you gonna be a black Statue of Liberty...
1645
01:21:27,630 --> 01:21:29,265
just sitting down on your ass.
1646
01:21:29,365 --> 01:21:31,601
Come on in the house!
You know what? That's fine.
1647
01:21:31,701 --> 01:21:33,703
You don't want to come in
'cause you mad about something?
1648
01:21:33,803 --> 01:21:35,805
You can't get everything your way.
1649
01:21:35,905 --> 01:21:39,075
You ever woke up on Christmas morning
and didn't get the gift you wanted?
1650
01:21:39,175 --> 01:21:42,311
This is it. You didn't get the gift you
wanted. Bring your ass in the house.
1651
01:21:42,411 --> 01:21:44,647
Y'all wastin' your time,
'cause she stubborn as a mule.
1652
01:21:44,747 --> 01:21:47,984
I'm going in. You wanna sit out here
and freeze, sit your ass out here...
1653
01:21:48,084 --> 01:21:50,386
sit your ass out here and freeze!
1654
01:21:50,486 --> 01:21:52,622
Sit there as long as you want.
I don't give a damn.
1655
01:21:52,722 --> 01:21:54,690
Sit there and turn
into a damn Popsicle!
1656
01:21:54,790 --> 01:21:57,827
Freeze all the hell you want.
You done lost your damn mind!
1657
01:21:57,927 --> 01:21:59,335
Amen.
1658
01:22:03,065 --> 01:22:06,469
Come on inside. You'll freeze
to death. Ain't no cab coming.
1659
01:22:06,569 --> 01:22:08,871
- I can't believe that.
- We tried our best.
1660
01:22:08,971 --> 01:22:11,007
Let's go in and play
charades with Madea.
1661
01:22:11,107 --> 01:22:13,187
Then I will walk to town.
1662
01:22:14,310 --> 01:22:16,651
And I'll take the Greyhound bus.
1663
01:22:22,084 --> 01:22:25,563
I don't need none of them.
Not one of them.
1664
01:22:30,626 --> 01:22:32,034
Hey.
1665
01:22:33,963 --> 01:22:36,499
Your mama's still out in the cold.
You may want to talk to her.
1666
01:22:36,599 --> 01:22:39,502
- She doesn't want to talk to me.
- You sure about that?
1667
01:22:39,602 --> 01:22:41,237
I know my mother.
1668
01:22:41,337 --> 01:22:43,873
Apparently you don't know
her as well as you think.
1669
01:22:43,973 --> 01:22:45,941
And what's that supposed to mean?
1670
01:22:46,041 --> 01:22:49,512
She's been manipulating
you your entire life.
1671
01:22:49,612 --> 01:22:53,516
She lied to you about your daddy
and about her heart attacks.
1672
01:22:53,616 --> 01:22:55,084
It's just not right.
1673
01:22:55,184 --> 01:22:57,086
Can you stop talking
about my mother now?
1674
01:22:57,186 --> 01:23:00,389
I'm not talkin' about your mother.
I'm just statin' the obvious.
1675
01:23:00,489 --> 01:23:02,291
I'm not trying to attack you or her.
1676
01:23:02,391 --> 01:23:04,527
Good, because I've been
attacked enough today.
1677
01:23:04,627 --> 01:23:08,964
Between my mother and my job and...
It's just all a bit much.
1678
01:23:09,064 --> 01:23:11,667
And everybody's mad at me
because of the sponsor...
1679
01:23:11,767 --> 01:23:14,507
I didn't know it was from
Sheldon Construction Company.
1680
01:23:15,204 --> 01:23:17,284
Tanner McCoy. Yeah, okay.
1681
01:23:18,207 --> 01:23:20,548
- What about Tanner?
- Nothing.
1682
01:23:21,343 --> 01:23:23,719
- Baby.
- I said "nothing."
1683
01:23:24,814 --> 01:23:26,894
What did Tanner do?
1684
01:23:28,250 --> 01:23:31,888
He was so nasty.
And then he got me fired.
1685
01:23:34,723 --> 01:23:36,860
- Conner.
- Son of a bitch.
1686
01:23:38,060 --> 01:23:40,062
Conner, where are you going?
1687
01:23:40,162 --> 01:23:42,898
- Hey, what's going on?
- I mentioned Tanner and he lost it.
1688
01:23:42,998 --> 01:23:45,468
- Conner!
- I've been waiting to see this.
1689
01:23:45,568 --> 01:23:47,570
- I'm goin' with you, boy.
- Conner!
1690
01:23:54,370 --> 01:23:55,704
Conner!
1691
01:24:05,688 --> 01:24:09,592
Hot dog, it's cold out here.
It's all right. It's all right then.
1692
01:24:09,692 --> 01:24:11,100
Help!
1693
01:24:14,496 --> 01:24:18,934
What in the...
Oh, Jesus, no, you don't.
1694
01:24:19,034 --> 01:24:23,305
- Hey.
- Someone there? Hello?
1695
01:24:23,405 --> 01:24:25,109
I'm here.
1696
01:24:27,643 --> 01:24:29,222
I can't move.
1697
01:24:31,380 --> 01:24:33,517
All right now. We gotta
get outta here. Come on.
1698
01:24:35,017 --> 01:24:36,485
- I'm stuck.
- Can you move your...
1699
01:24:36,585 --> 01:24:38,130
My leg's caught.
1700
01:24:39,321 --> 01:24:40,900
I don't wanna die.
1701
01:24:41,523 --> 01:24:43,603
- Nobody's gonna die.
- I have a little boy.
1702
01:24:45,995 --> 01:24:47,073
Push.
1703
01:24:49,064 --> 01:24:50,900
I got you.
1704
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:53,102
Got it.
1705
01:24:54,536 --> 01:24:56,206
Go ahead.
1706
01:24:59,008 --> 01:25:00,587
I got you.
1707
01:25:23,799 --> 01:25:27,108
You're good. How are your legs? Okay.
1708
01:25:29,204 --> 01:25:30,673
- How's your head?
- All right.
1709
01:25:30,773 --> 01:25:33,615
All right. Get up. Get up.
1710
01:25:35,444 --> 01:25:37,524
Help. Help.
1711
01:25:39,315 --> 01:25:41,861
Get off my mother-in-law,
you son of a bitch!
1712
01:25:43,118 --> 01:25:45,721
- Hey! Don't hurt him! Stop it!
- Leave him be!
1713
01:25:45,821 --> 01:25:47,356
Come on!
1714
01:25:47,456 --> 01:25:50,893
Don't you ever, ever say a word to
my wife again. You understand me?
1715
01:25:50,993 --> 01:25:53,696
- What did he say about Lacey?
- Get in the truck.
1716
01:25:53,796 --> 01:25:55,698
I will not step foot
back in that house!
1717
01:25:55,798 --> 01:25:57,766
I am not in the mood
for your foolishness.
1718
01:25:57,866 --> 01:25:59,570
Now get your ass in that truck!
1719
01:26:01,904 --> 01:26:03,639
Now I'm plantin' corn...
1720
01:26:03,739 --> 01:26:07,082
and there ain't a damn
thing you can do about it.
1721
01:26:18,187 --> 01:26:19,766
Get out of here.
1722
01:26:34,603 --> 01:26:36,505
Babe, I wish you
wouldn't have done that.
1723
01:26:36,605 --> 01:26:37,907
It had to be done.
1724
01:26:38,007 --> 01:26:40,910
Nothing stops somebody like him from
bullying people except pushing back.
1725
01:26:41,010 --> 01:26:44,647
That's right. That kid's been a terror
to Conner since he was a little boy.
1726
01:26:44,747 --> 01:26:47,516
I'm glad you done what you did, Son.
I'm proud of you.
1727
01:26:47,616 --> 01:26:50,219
Stood up for himself,
and that's a good thing.
1728
01:26:50,319 --> 01:26:51,921
I'm with you, Lacey. I don't like it.
1729
01:26:52,021 --> 01:26:53,989
I just wanna tell you
all how sorry I am.
1730
01:26:54,089 --> 01:26:56,425
I should have told my
mom from the beginning.
1731
01:26:56,525 --> 01:26:59,028
That is the truth.
You should've told her.
1732
01:26:59,128 --> 01:27:01,964
We have met your mama
and we understand.
1733
01:27:02,064 --> 01:27:04,033
She crazy as hell. Didn't I tell you?
1734
01:27:04,133 --> 01:27:06,270
- She's cuckoo.
- That's right.
1735
01:27:07,236 --> 01:27:09,538
I don't like you all
talking about me.
1736
01:27:09,638 --> 01:27:11,273
No, Mrs. Murphy, I'm sorry.
1737
01:27:11,373 --> 01:27:14,109
We were just saying that God
makes everyone different...
1738
01:27:14,209 --> 01:27:17,290
and you are a gem in God's ring.
1739
01:27:20,149 --> 01:27:22,651
And I don't like the
way you spoke to me.
1740
01:27:22,751 --> 01:27:25,454
Well, I'm sorry. I was angry.
1741
01:27:25,554 --> 01:27:29,725
- What did you say?
- He told her to get her ass in the truck.
1742
01:27:29,825 --> 01:27:33,065
- And what did you do?
- She got her ass in the truck.
1743
01:27:34,530 --> 01:27:36,265
Go ahead and laugh.
1744
01:27:36,365 --> 01:27:38,500
Hold on, Eileen.
Y'all need to let all this go.
1745
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:41,570
You lied. She done lie. Everybody lied.
Here a lie, there a lie.
1746
01:27:41,670 --> 01:27:44,573
It's Christmas now. You need to
go down there and buy her a tree.
1747
01:27:44,673 --> 01:27:47,142
And plant it in the backyard.
Get her a ribbon.
1748
01:27:47,242 --> 01:27:48,711
- A yellow one.
- I'm sorry.
1749
01:27:48,811 --> 01:27:51,613
I just wanted to give my
daughter a proper wedding.
1750
01:27:51,713 --> 01:27:54,149
Mama, you've always been overbearing.
1751
01:27:54,249 --> 01:27:57,119
I did it for me. Not for you.
1752
01:27:57,219 --> 01:28:00,055
I love you, and I'm sorry...
1753
01:28:00,155 --> 01:28:02,324
that I didn't tell you,
but this is my life.
1754
01:28:02,424 --> 01:28:06,028
And he loves me,
and he treats me oh so well.
1755
01:28:06,128 --> 01:28:09,264
I'm sorry. I just didn't
want you to get hurt.
1756
01:28:09,364 --> 01:28:13,002
Mama, he's not gonna hurt me.
He's as gentle as a lamb.
1757
01:28:14,736 --> 01:28:17,749
No, he's not. He beat that
man down to the ground.
1758
01:28:18,207 --> 01:28:21,477
Come on. That guy had it comin',
and everybody knows it.
1759
01:28:21,577 --> 01:28:24,487
Well, he did say he
was protecting you.
1760
01:28:25,080 --> 01:28:27,049
I love your daughter, Miss Murphy.
1761
01:28:27,149 --> 01:28:30,285
I'll never let anything
happen to her. I promise.
1762
01:28:30,385 --> 01:28:32,021
That makes two of us.
1763
01:28:32,121 --> 01:28:37,330
Okay. Well, this is all new to me.
I don't know, but... I'll try.
1764
01:28:40,729 --> 01:28:43,165
Nothing beats a failure but a try.
1765
01:28:43,265 --> 01:28:46,101
- Now we're making some progress.
- Yeah.
1766
01:28:46,201 --> 01:28:47,939
A try's a try, right?
1767
01:28:50,072 --> 01:28:53,542
Oh, boy. That's Tanner.
That's trouble.
1768
01:28:53,642 --> 01:28:55,744
He's still got it.
I knew you got it in you.
1769
01:28:55,844 --> 01:28:57,287
- Now, don't.
- Baby...
1770
01:28:58,313 --> 01:29:02,151
You get off my property, Tanner McCoy,
before I knock you on your ass again.
1771
01:29:02,251 --> 01:29:04,753
- Give him a chance.
- He's just coming here to start trouble.
1772
01:29:04,853 --> 01:29:08,662
- No, he's not.
- I want to apologize.
1773
01:29:09,391 --> 01:29:11,960
- What?
- I want to...
1774
01:29:12,060 --> 01:29:13,969
say thank you.
1775
01:29:14,963 --> 01:29:17,373
- I'm sorry. I didn't get your name.
- Eileen.
1776
01:29:17,900 --> 01:29:20,002
Miss Eileen.
1777
01:29:20,102 --> 01:29:24,206
He told me what you did
for him. So... thank you.
1778
01:29:24,306 --> 01:29:26,784
Oh, thank you!
1779
01:29:29,111 --> 01:29:30,913
He really is a good man.
1780
01:29:31,013 --> 01:29:32,981
He's just been so troubled...
1781
01:29:33,081 --> 01:29:35,320
with all that's been
going on with the dam.
1782
01:29:38,720 --> 01:29:40,299
Thank you.
1783
01:29:45,827 --> 01:29:48,063
Tanner, I've been working
on a new strain of corn...
1784
01:29:48,163 --> 01:29:49,965
that doesn't need as much water.
1785
01:29:50,065 --> 01:29:52,577
I could use your help with it.
1786
01:29:55,070 --> 01:29:57,275
Yeah. I'd be glad to.
1787
01:30:04,012 --> 01:30:06,381
I'm sorry I wanted to get you fired.
1788
01:30:06,481 --> 01:30:09,218
I'm gonna talk to the
mayor tomorrow. Promise.
1789
01:30:09,318 --> 01:30:11,286
I'm sure he's still very upset.
1790
01:30:11,386 --> 01:30:15,124
Having to choose between going
on with Jubilee or getting sued...
1791
01:30:15,224 --> 01:30:16,959
is pretty crazy.
1792
01:30:17,059 --> 01:30:19,962
The town's going on with it,
but we're not happy...
1793
01:30:20,062 --> 01:30:23,966
about not being able to say
Jesus or celebrate his birth.
1794
01:30:24,066 --> 01:30:25,968
You know, Bailey's been practicing...
1795
01:30:26,068 --> 01:30:28,648
and all the kids are really sad.
1796
01:30:29,638 --> 01:30:33,015
Yeah, I've been thinking about that,
and I have an idea.
1797
01:30:34,276 --> 01:30:36,778
Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
1798
01:30:36,878 --> 01:30:38,847
Jingle all the way
1799
01:30:38,947 --> 01:30:41,584
- We are live...
- Look at all the news vans.
1800
01:30:43,252 --> 01:30:46,021
This old town has never
had this much attention.
1801
01:30:46,121 --> 01:30:48,790
Well, since the whorehouse
closed down in 1970.
1802
01:30:48,890 --> 01:30:51,960
- That was a sad day.
- What do you think about the celebration?
1803
01:30:52,060 --> 01:30:55,130
Well, I say Christmas is about Jesus.
1804
01:30:55,230 --> 01:30:58,834
I ran down here. I ran for my life!
1805
01:30:58,934 --> 01:31:00,969
'Cause I was gonna start a fire.
1806
01:31:01,069 --> 01:31:02,871
"O Lord Jesus is a fire."
1807
01:31:02,971 --> 01:31:04,606
Ain't nobody got time for that.
1808
01:31:04,706 --> 01:31:06,942
- Hell no.
- Hold on there.
1809
01:31:07,042 --> 01:31:09,711
- We need to shut this down.
- Just wait a sec.
1810
01:31:09,811 --> 01:31:11,513
See what she's got to say.
1811
01:31:11,613 --> 01:31:13,949
I told them to hide the kids,
hide they wife...
1812
01:31:14,049 --> 01:31:16,852
and hide they Santa Claus,
'cause it's crazy around here.
1813
01:31:16,952 --> 01:31:18,921
Thank you so much. This is lovely.
1814
01:31:19,021 --> 01:31:21,657
I got a candy apple.
Where y'all went?
1815
01:31:21,757 --> 01:31:24,497
Merry Christmas. How you doing?
Where y'all went?
1816
01:31:25,761 --> 01:31:28,297
There they is, over there.
Hey, Oliver, how ya doin'?
1817
01:31:28,397 --> 01:31:31,034
Good to see you. Good to
see you. All right, all right.
1818
01:31:32,134 --> 01:31:35,977
Listen, listen, we have a contract.
You see those people over there?
1819
01:31:36,638 --> 01:31:38,479
They are very powerful.
1820
01:31:39,241 --> 01:31:41,710
You have to take down the nativity.
1821
01:31:41,810 --> 01:31:43,389
Okay, that's it.
1822
01:31:43,979 --> 01:31:46,415
May I have everyone's attention?
1823
01:31:46,515 --> 01:31:47,816
What is she doing?
1824
01:31:47,916 --> 01:31:49,551
Hello, Bucktussle.
1825
01:31:49,651 --> 01:31:52,354
I want to thank you all for coming
out to the Christmas Jubilee.
1826
01:31:52,454 --> 01:31:55,490
- Look at your daughter.
- Isn't she beautiful?
1827
01:31:55,590 --> 01:31:57,559
I'd also like to thank Sheldon
Construction Company...
1828
01:31:57,659 --> 01:32:00,171
for sponsoring this
Christmas celebration.
1829
01:32:03,532 --> 01:32:07,269
Christmas is about giving back,
and with all the world watching...
1830
01:32:07,369 --> 01:32:11,373
not only did Sheldon Construction
Company fund this event...
1831
01:32:11,473 --> 01:32:13,442
but they've also agreed to release...
1832
01:32:13,542 --> 01:32:18,148
150,000 gallons of water a day
down the river to the farmers.
1833
01:32:19,648 --> 01:32:21,056
Thank you.
1834
01:32:26,488 --> 01:32:29,068
- What are you doing?
- Giving goodwill towards men.
1835
01:32:29,658 --> 01:32:32,094
- Thank you, Mr. Sheldon.
- She's smart.
1836
01:32:32,194 --> 01:32:35,097
- I told you.
- Aren't you glad you didn't do anything?
1837
01:32:35,197 --> 01:32:36,598
- You care about getting back...
- Yeah.
1838
01:32:36,698 --> 01:32:38,867
To the heart of who we are as people.
1839
01:32:38,967 --> 01:32:42,537
You are so proud to
be a part of a town...
1840
01:32:42,637 --> 01:32:44,840
that doesn't mind keeping
the Christ in Christmas...
1841
01:32:44,940 --> 01:32:47,609
so much so, that they are
presenting the McCoy School...
1842
01:32:47,709 --> 01:32:52,224
with $100,000 a year
for the next four years.
1843
01:33:00,355 --> 01:33:02,591
- Yeah! Yes!
- Yes, yes!
1844
01:33:02,691 --> 01:33:06,228
Such a fantastic Christmas
gift to the city, sir.
1845
01:33:06,328 --> 01:33:09,231
- Can you give us a comment?
- So without further ado...
1846
01:33:09,331 --> 01:33:11,433
let the Christmas Jubilee begin.
1847
01:33:11,533 --> 01:33:13,112
Come on.
1848
01:33:16,405 --> 01:33:20,476
Well, hello, Bucktussle,
and welcome...
1849
01:33:21,243 --> 01:33:23,949
welcome to the Christmas
Jubilee and Fair.
1850
01:33:24,746 --> 01:33:26,648
The children of McCoy School...
1851
01:33:26,748 --> 01:33:29,518
have put together a little
presentation for us all...
1852
01:33:29,618 --> 01:33:32,421
and this has all been under the
direction of their current teacher...
1853
01:33:32,521 --> 01:33:34,489
May be wrong for that.
1854
01:33:34,589 --> 01:33:36,558
I am so proud of the kids.
1855
01:33:36,658 --> 01:33:38,093
Mrs. Lacey Williams.
1856
01:33:38,193 --> 01:33:41,163
- Did she say, "Mrs. Lacey Williams"?
- It was all her idea.
1857
01:33:41,263 --> 01:33:44,833
- Yep, she did.
- So, thank you, Lacey, for everything.
1858
01:33:44,933 --> 01:33:50,646
And now the children of McCoy School,
featuring Bailey McCoy.
1859
01:33:52,374 --> 01:33:54,253
That's my boy!
1860
01:33:56,878 --> 01:34:01,216
<i>Mary, did you know</i>
1861
01:34:01,316 --> 01:34:04,820
<i>That your baby boy</i>
1862
01:34:04,920 --> 01:34:09,291
<i>Would give sight to the blind man?</i>
1863
01:34:09,391 --> 01:34:13,662
<i>Mary, did you know</i>
1864
01:34:13,762 --> 01:34:16,498
- <i>That your baby boy</i>
- Hey, baby.
1865
01:34:16,598 --> 01:34:18,066
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
1866
01:34:18,166 --> 01:34:22,738
<i>Would calm a storm with his hand?</i>
1867
01:34:22,838 --> 01:34:25,741
<i>Did you know</i>
1868
01:34:25,841 --> 01:34:29,378
<i>That your baby boy</i>
1869
01:34:29,478 --> 01:34:34,850
<i>Has walked where angels trod</i>
1870
01:34:34,950 --> 01:34:40,989
<i>And when you kiss your little baby</i>
1871
01:34:41,089 --> 01:34:46,762
<i>You have kissed the face of God?</i>
1872
01:34:46,862 --> 01:34:51,069
<i>Mary, did you</i>
1873
01:34:51,733 --> 01:34:56,304
<i>Know?</i>
1874
01:35:22,831 --> 01:35:24,900
You don't need to
have no lingerie on.
1875
01:35:25,000 --> 01:35:28,937
Eileen, tell him we've been shopping
at Tifton's for over 15 years.
1876
01:35:29,037 --> 01:35:31,206
Yes, okay. I'm gonna help her.
1877
01:35:31,306 --> 01:35:33,041
Okay, go help her. Fifteen years.
1878
01:35:33,141 --> 01:35:35,677
Well, 15 years ago maybe
that lingerie worked.
1879
01:35:35,777 --> 01:35:37,612
But now the lingerie
don't work, honey.
1880
01:35:37,712 --> 01:35:39,181
You are so insulting!
1881
01:35:39,281 --> 01:35:41,249
I am not insulting.
I am telling you the truth.
1882
01:35:41,349 --> 01:35:42,984
You shouldn't have
on no damn lingerie.
1883
01:35:43,084 --> 01:35:44,786
I'm trying to save you
some embarrassment.
1884
01:35:44,886 --> 01:35:47,622
Put on that damn lingerie, look like
you got hair damage on your ass.
1885
01:35:47,722 --> 01:35:51,827
I mean, come on now. Come on, honey.
I'm trying to help y'all.
1886
01:35:51,927 --> 01:35:54,429
- Is this good?
- There you go trying to control everything.
1887
01:35:54,529 --> 01:35:56,731
- I am not trying to...
- Let me get the lines clean.
1888
01:35:56,831 --> 01:35:58,300
Let me get the eye lines clean...
1889
01:35:58,400 --> 01:36:00,635
'cause I got a single on
me and a single on you.
1890
01:36:00,735 --> 01:36:02,704
And Maysie's sitting in the
editing room right now cussing...
1891
01:36:02,804 --> 01:36:04,439
'cause we're talking
all over each other.
1892
01:36:04,539 --> 01:36:07,042
Lacey, you do not
have a Christmas tree!
1893
01:36:07,142 --> 01:36:09,110
- Mama.
- What? No, really!
1894
01:36:09,210 --> 01:36:10,679
That's why you wanted me here...
1895
01:36:10,779 --> 01:36:13,315
- Yup, that's exactly why.
- I'll clean up and straighten out.
1896
01:36:13,415 --> 01:36:15,851
I'm gonna take this room.
Let me go straighten up a little.
1897
01:36:15,951 --> 01:36:17,853
- Then we'll go...
- She talks so much.
1898
01:36:17,953 --> 01:36:20,522
- Is this one yours, Madea?
- All right, come on.
1899
01:36:20,622 --> 01:36:22,702
What you talking about?
You just talking all over everybody.
1900
01:36:26,728 --> 01:36:29,331
- Hi.
- Look, they do it in unison.
1901
01:36:29,431 --> 01:36:32,300
They all do it in unison.
That's nice. Unison is nice.
1902
01:36:32,400 --> 01:36:34,769
The unison is very nice.
1903
01:36:34,869 --> 01:36:36,905
You tryin' to correct me?
I say it's "u-nis-on."
1904
01:36:37,005 --> 01:36:38,507
No, Aunt Madea.
1905
01:36:38,607 --> 01:36:40,342
So I have a meeting down the hall...
1906
01:36:40,442 --> 01:36:43,011
Any unison when they sang unison.
1907
01:36:43,111 --> 01:36:46,681
No, ma'am, it's not.
But that's fine. That's okay.
1908
01:36:46,781 --> 01:36:48,416
I have a meeting down the hall...
1909
01:36:48,516 --> 01:36:50,652
I thought it was "unison",
and "a cappollo."
1910
01:36:50,752 --> 01:36:53,221
When they sang in no music,
what is that?
1911
01:36:53,321 --> 01:36:54,456
No music?
1912
01:36:54,556 --> 01:36:56,858
Yeah, when you sang and there ain't
no music, ain't that a "cappollo"?
1913
01:36:56,958 --> 01:36:58,693
No, that's a cappella.
1914
01:36:58,793 --> 01:37:00,695
I don't know much about music.
1915
01:37:00,795 --> 01:37:03,307
Me and Ike Turner didn't make it.
He went on with Tina.
1916
01:37:04,232 --> 01:37:06,134
That's okay. That's okay.
1917
01:37:06,234 --> 01:37:07,969
I would beat the hell out of him.
1918
01:37:08,069 --> 01:37:10,205
Ike wasn't gonna put his hands
on me. That's all I'm saying.
1919
01:37:10,305 --> 01:37:12,073
I'm sorry. Say what you're
saying to the children.
1920
01:37:12,173 --> 01:37:13,575
- Are you done? Okay.
- Yes!
1921
01:37:13,675 --> 01:37:15,577
I have a meeting down the hall...
1922
01:37:15,677 --> 01:37:17,846
You ain't getting testy with me, are you?
Talkin' about "Are you done?"
1923
01:37:17,946 --> 01:37:20,215
- No, of course not.
- Okay.
1924
01:37:20,315 --> 01:37:23,752
Let's start over from the top, 'cause
that's gonna make it in the gag reel.
1925
01:37:23,852 --> 01:37:24,819
Speed.
1926
01:37:24,919 --> 01:37:26,388
- White lightning?
- Yeah, moonshine.
1927
01:37:26,488 --> 01:37:28,390
You want to take a snort?
1928
01:37:28,490 --> 01:37:29,791
Nope, I'll pass.
1929
01:37:29,891 --> 01:37:32,694
Boy, it'll put some hair on
your chest, I'll guarantee ya.
1930
01:37:32,794 --> 01:37:36,398
Stop it. Come on.
Talk about hair on your chest.
1931
01:37:36,498 --> 01:37:38,400
I could French-braid his.
1932
01:37:38,500 --> 01:37:40,435
That's right. I could
put a little bow on it.
1933
01:37:40,535 --> 01:37:43,572
She's too pretty to have
hair on her chest. Really.
1934
01:37:43,672 --> 01:37:45,674
I gotta tell you, I got rid of mine.
1935
01:37:45,774 --> 01:37:47,742
Little bat hairs
attached to needles...
1936
01:37:47,842 --> 01:37:50,011
soaked in cucumber juice
and a boatload of Nair.
1937
01:37:50,111 --> 01:37:52,113
Gone, like that, if you
ever have a problem with...
1938
01:37:52,213 --> 01:37:54,683
I've seen a mosquito
so daggone big...
1939
01:37:54,783 --> 01:37:57,419
it was dry-humping a wiener
dog right there on the porch.
1940
01:37:57,519 --> 01:38:01,089
She's way prettier than the
last one. She looked like...
1941
01:38:01,189 --> 01:38:02,597
Tyler Perry.
1942
01:38:05,694 --> 01:38:07,495
Boy, I tell you what, Son,
she's way prettier...
1943
01:38:07,595 --> 01:38:09,497
than that last girl you was with.
1944
01:38:09,597 --> 01:38:11,608
Good night. She looked
like old Tyler Perry.
1945
01:38:14,703 --> 01:38:16,605
All right. Keep going.
1946
01:38:16,705 --> 01:38:18,206
Oh, my God.
1947
01:38:18,306 --> 01:38:20,041
Where are my manners?
1948
01:38:20,141 --> 01:38:21,710
I'll do one it one more time. Ready?
1949
01:38:21,810 --> 01:38:23,311
Where are my manners?
1950
01:38:23,411 --> 01:38:25,380
But this'un,
you done good on this'un.
1951
01:38:25,480 --> 01:38:27,816
Shut the...
1952
01:38:27,916 --> 01:38:31,086
I need to introduce myself,
but where are my manners?
1953
01:38:31,186 --> 01:38:32,788
I am...
1954
01:38:35,290 --> 01:38:36,925
- All right.
- It's okay, Mama.
1955
01:38:37,025 --> 01:38:39,401
I know. It's gonna roll at the
end of the movie. All right.
1956
01:38:40,061 --> 01:38:42,197
I'm a truck driver.
1957
01:38:42,297 --> 01:38:45,567
Been out on the road a lot.
Long-haul truck driver.
1958
01:38:45,667 --> 01:38:46,968
You run long hos?
1959
01:38:47,068 --> 01:38:48,336
No, long haul.
1960
01:38:48,436 --> 01:38:50,038
Oh, haw, like haw.
1961
01:38:50,138 --> 01:38:51,606
- Hauling.
- Oh, hauling.
1962
01:38:51,706 --> 01:38:54,909
Like your eucalyptus.
Menthol. "Hall." Haul.
1963
01:38:55,009 --> 01:38:56,311
Not "hole." Haul.
1964
01:38:56,411 --> 01:38:58,780
- A hole, a haul, okay.
- But anyway...
1965
01:38:58,880 --> 01:39:00,789
he still lives here, that Tanner.
1966
01:39:02,250 --> 01:39:03,818
Kid's still beating him up?
1967
01:39:03,918 --> 01:39:05,387
Yeah, he's still beating him up.
1968
01:39:05,487 --> 01:39:07,555
The little kid?
He's too big for that.
1969
01:39:07,655 --> 01:39:09,924
No, he's big now.
He's a regular-sized kid.
1970
01:39:10,024 --> 01:39:12,594
I mean, he growed with...
He growed with Conner.
1971
01:39:12,694 --> 01:39:15,730
Tanner, he's regular size.
He ain't like a dwarf or nothin'.
1972
01:39:15,830 --> 01:39:17,866
- He growed?
- Yeah, he growed up that tall.
1973
01:39:17,966 --> 01:39:20,635
He ain't a dwarf. I mean,
shoot, he'd take a dwarf.
1974
01:39:20,735 --> 01:39:22,370
He'd kick ass out of a dwarf.
1975
01:39:22,470 --> 01:39:23,938
Hell, I hope so.
1976
01:39:24,038 --> 01:39:26,574
It's just regular-sized
kids he got trouble with.
1977
01:39:26,674 --> 01:39:29,711
- Okay. Okay.
- But he's good in the dwarf department.
1978
01:39:29,811 --> 01:39:32,480
I need a dictionary to keep
up with you sometime, honey.
1979
01:39:32,580 --> 01:39:36,317
If you're gonna do it, then you
need to do it and keep doin' her...
1980
01:39:36,417 --> 01:39:39,554
and then when you're done doin' her,
you keep doin' her again...
1981
01:39:39,654 --> 01:39:42,023
'cause you wanna keep doin'
what it is you need to do...
1982
01:39:42,123 --> 01:39:44,464
in order to do what
you need to be doin'.
1983
01:39:45,393 --> 01:39:46,665
Ain't that right?
1984
01:39:47,562 --> 01:39:49,197
She told you that lie too?
1985
01:39:49,297 --> 01:39:51,666
She didn't have no damn heart attack.
1986
01:39:51,766 --> 01:39:55,036
She had gas. We got her to the hospital,
they said she had gas.
1987
01:39:55,136 --> 01:39:56,104
What?
1988
01:39:56,204 --> 01:39:59,649
They ran one of them pipes in there,
she farted, it was over.
1989
01:40:05,346 --> 01:40:07,282
Yeah, she had gas.
1990
01:40:07,382 --> 01:40:09,884
She had gas. She had gas.
1991
01:40:09,984 --> 01:40:12,954
They hit her in the stomach real
hard and she farted. It was over.
1992
01:40:13,054 --> 01:40:14,556
Then she had heartburn.
1993
01:40:14,656 --> 01:40:17,566
Sounds like she needs
some Prilosec OTC.
1994
01:40:18,760 --> 01:40:20,328
Get out my way!
1995
01:40:20,428 --> 01:40:22,731
I don't need to be here
in this stuck-up-ass...
1996
01:40:22,831 --> 01:40:24,299
bougie-ass store nowhere.
1997
01:40:24,399 --> 01:40:27,309
I don't need to be up in
there with y'all! Go to hell!
1998
01:40:30,905 --> 01:40:33,713
Where's my damn car?
Where's my damn car?
1999
01:40:35,176 --> 01:40:36,687
Shut the hell up.
2000
01:40:43,585 --> 01:40:44,720
Cut.
2000
01:40:45,305 --> 01:40:51,579
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